My Parents' Marriage

[Pedigree]

My parents have been married for 20 years (21 years in 3 months) and they're both people who have a career. I've always seen them as a team functioning together to make decisions. In recent times however, I've noticed some things:

 

1. They are increasingly spending more time apart: I'm not talking about "I need to spend some alone time" apart, I'm talking about "Don't do things together" anymore apart I would say in the last 2-3 years, I haven't seen them take each other out to dinner (even during their anniversaries). In fact, they (or should I say we, because my brothers and I are at the table as well) don't even have dinner together anymore. The only time they (we) do so is during holidays, but that's all.

 

2. Mum avoids Dad's family: Mum's an only child as compared to Dad's five siblings. Dad's close with his siblings so they organize a lot of get togethers/outings/picnics/etc. Mum stopped going (usually citing work or preparing for a presentation for work) 3 years ago. It's at a point where the only time my extended family sees Mum is if they bump into her at a shopping centre.

 

3. Their communication seems to be breaking down: Its worst manifestation was last year when my older brother wanted to move out of the house. Mum was recommending some apartments and the conversation went along something like this.

D: Mum, I've already got one.

Mum: When?

D: Last week. Dad came along with me to do the paperwork, didn't he tell you?

Mum: No.

D: I also told him that I should be ready to move out in a couple of days.

Mum: That's 2 things I don't know.

 

This caught my eye as my parents are serious about us (my brothers and I) moving out when we have enough money to afford moving out. But somehow they failed to tell each other about my brother getting an apartment and moving out.

 

Now all this don't really bug me (Probably because I'm pretty busy) but it does bug other members of the family (My grandmother) who are worried that my parents' marriage is breaking down. Is this notion just an exaggeration or is there something to be wary of?

[littlekitty]

Well on the surface it sounds like there's something going on. However, the only two people who really know that are your Mum and Dad.

 

I'm guessing they don't want to talk about it, or be open about it otherwise they would have done.

 

I'm not sure I'd advocate anyone getting involved and asking them what's going on. Perhaps the only person in a position to do that is you or your siblings as their children.

 

It's a difficult one.

[Pedigree]

I'm not sure I'd advocate anyone getting involved and asking them what's going on. Perhaps the only person in a position to do that is you or your siblings as their children.

 

Yeah, I've had grandparents, uncles, and aunts give this suggestion to my brothers and I. My older brother and I agree that we should stay out of it.

The only time we envision ourselves speaking up is if one day (and I hope that day never comes) our parents sits us down and say "We're having a divorce".