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I'm sorry I just cannot go on

bigheartkindsoul

By bigheartkindsoul,
in Coping

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bigheartkindsoul

bigheartkindsoul

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http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t133801/

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t135195/

 

I can't do this anymore, the torment of remembering bad feelings is just all too much. I'm a mess I am a failure I shouldn't have been so stupid.

 

I don't have anything left in me.

 

I'm sorry I'm so so sorry.

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Spinderella

Spinderella

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Big heart,

STOP doing this to yourself, just stop! You are surrounded by a love so pure, you just have to stop and feel it. Your mind is torturing you, and you are listening to it.

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KittenMoon

KittenMoon

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Hey! We don't allow this kinda stuff on LS!

 

Get back here. Vent, cry, scream, swear, whatever! Just post, don't do anything that can't be taken back!

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stevessvt

stevessvt

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Truly, I have no idea who you are, come and bitch to me, I can take it!! I was married for 16 years, lol,...I can take it!!

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stevessvt

stevessvt

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Ms. Kindsoul,...please,....do me the honor of chatting with me. I need someone to talk to, also. Maybe you can help me...

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amaysngrace

amaysngrace

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Hey. Don't do something stupid. If you go then who will all the miserable ones complain about?

 

Do you know what you should do? You should go wash your face and look at yourself and know that this prick isn't going to ruin your day. Any day. Because you are better than that and you know it.

 

But if you just check out then what's it all for? It can't be for him. Cause he's not worth it.

 

Please go splash some water on your face and come sit down. You're not alone.

 

XO

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bigheartkindsoul

bigheartkindsoul

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Please don't think badly of me, I am a mess, everything seems to be going wrong lately.

 

I try and pick myself up, I try and do have fun, but so much is just not going right.

 

In isolation none seems that major but all of them together when your not doing so good anyway, its all getting too much.

 

Feeling the past feelings (bad) I had

Missing being loved and loving

Putting on weight even though working out so much and hard

Feeling fat and ugly

Feeling usless

Feeling like I am a failure because I cannot deal with this (again)

Coffee exploding on my lovely new cream coat and won't come out

My 2hr journey taking 4hrs this evening

Seeing the ex drive past and having no choice in going to his village

Not being able to get a kitten cause I just is not that easy

My cat now living next door

Coming home this evening and dropping things and stuff just going wrong

Being so stressed and not being able to deal with it

Not having much money but spending so much on cheer me up sprees and nights out

Trying to call my best friend but not heard from her

Couldn't sleep in the hotel last night

I cannot go to therapy anymore because my limit has been reached on my private healthcare

All the money I spent while with him and after him on getting better and leaving myself in fcking debt

No being able to believe that someone could be so cruel and horrible to me, when all I wanted was for them to love me and be honest with me.

I loved him so much.

Going on dates, enjoying the company but not wanting it to get romantic cause I am scared whitless.

 

 

You know what it just doesn't matter, I am stuck. Thought I was ok, clearly just on a high after my holiday because the last couple of weeks have just not been good.

 

I just donno, really I just donno anything anymore, how many times does one have to pick themselves up and put a smile on their face?

 

Cause this person feels like I cannot do it again and again and again, I've done it so many times in the last 6months, mmore so in the last 4 since the split.

 

I just can't, whats the point, just to get knocked back down again. Might as well just stay down here.

 

Forgive me.

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bigheartkindsoul

bigheartkindsoul

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And thank you, you are all very sweet kind people. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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stevessvt

stevessvt

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Your sig says....

Once you start laughing you start healing

 

So Start healing.....

 

On reaching manhood, the farmer's son is given a duck. "I'm sorry I don't have anything more to give you, son," the farmer tells him. "Let's just see how enterprising you are."

 

The son goes into town and first off goes in the brothel. He explains it's his birthday to the madam and that all he has in the world is the duck. "Well, I think I have a girl for you," she says, and takes the duck in payment.

 

Well but who might've imagined the vigor of this boy! He and the girl go at it for hours, and when he's done the greatly-pleased prostitute is so impressed she begs him to do her again. "I'll arrange to get your payment back if you do," she pleads. And who is the farmer's son to refuse?

 

Now satisfied with himself, the farmer's son heads home, duck in hand. On the way, however, a coach speeds by recklessly, knocking the bird out of his hand and crushing it under its wheels. The driver stops and apologizes profusely for the accident. "I'm in a hurry, son, but please accept this fiver for your loss." The young man thanks the driver and heads home.

 

The old farmer finds his son arrived with a great big smile on his face but no bird. "So how did you do, boy?" he asked.

 

"Great!" the son answered. "I got a **** for a duck, a duck for a ****, and five bucks for a ****ed-up duck!"

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Crestfallen_KH

Crestfallen_KH

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You can do this. You've proven it every day that you can do this. By getting up and living every day, you're getting just that much closer to the end of this!!

 

Please don't do anything crazy. Let us know you're ok...

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stevessvt

stevessvt

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And thank you, you are all very sweet kind people. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Dont thank us,....you have each and every one of our hearts with you,...

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funkybassplayer

funkybassplayer

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you know a few years ago my dad died suddenly, i lost mys g/f of 9 years and mum got cancer in the space of 6 weeks. If i can get through that you can get over this prick. u have life, life life. be strong live it enjoy it.

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amaysngrace

amaysngrace

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Do you know that when you're with someone that doesn't love you, the love you thought you were feeling was really your own. This guy is an ass. But the love you thought he had for you was just the depth of your own love mirrored back.

 

You have such a big heart and this guy isn't worth crap.

 

Cry, scream, punch a pillow but do not hurt your special self, okay?

 

XO

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Crestfallen_KH

Crestfallen_KH

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Try and think about it like this - you have to recover from what was done TO you. You do NOT have to recover from what you selifishy did to someone else. That is his burden and his path. Your path is laid out before you - lined with trees and you can see the end. His path is full of gnarly weeds and rocks, it's windy and there's a big storm coming in and a bear waiting to maul him. ;) That is the path that he chose through his insensitivity. YOUR path is under your control. You can and are walking it - and there is an end.

 

I know you may be mourning the "pre-him" you - but that "you" doesn't exist anymore. And that's a GOOD thing. If you are like me, the "you" from that time was probably too busy to volunteer like you are now. She was probably wrapped up in her relationship and wasn't thinking about herself or caring for herself. She was probably even unhappy in a lot of ways, and her growth was stagnated.

 

But the "you" that you are now is much better and stronger. You are proving that every day. You wouldn't want to be the "pre-him" you, because you are so much better now. It's ok to mourn the lost "you," but now you get to be whatever you want and grow in ways you never thought possible.

 

Please call a suicide hotline or an emergency line where you are. Please don't do anything to check out. Don't let him destroy you like this.

 

Please come back and let us know you are ok.

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Kasan

Kasan

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BHK,

 

All of us at one time or another have probably felt the same way that you are feeling now. Close to that proverbial brink.

 

One thing after another piles on top so that you feel that you are suffocating. You want to go to sleep and wake up and have it be six months from now.

 

You go on simply because you have to. There is always someone who will be depending on you.

 

I have found that sometimes the greatest growth comes from great pain. Is it something that I enjoy--no, but it's part of this very wonderful, complex, and strange life that we live....and I do know that there is a distinct possibility that tomorrow will be better.

 

This to shall pass BHK.

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bigheartkindsoul

bigheartkindsoul

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BHK,

 

All of us at one time or another have probably felt the same way that you are feeling now. Close to that proverbial brink.

 

One thing after another piles on top so that you feel that you are suffocating. You want to go to sleep and wake up and have it be six months from now.

 

 

Yes this sums it up.

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bigheartkindsoul

bigheartkindsoul

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you know a few years ago my dad died suddenly, i lost mys g/f of 9 years and mum got cancer in the space of 6 weeks. If i can get through that you can get over this prick. u have life, life life. be strong live it enjoy it.

 

I want too, I really do - he did such a number on me. I had so much fight to begin with I used my anger toward him in such a positive way but now that anger has subsided I feel useless.

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bigheartkindsoul

bigheartkindsoul

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Try and think about it like this - you have to recover from what was done TO you. You do NOT have to recover from what you selifishy did to someone else. That is his burden and his path. Your path is laid out before you - lined with trees and you can see the end. His path is full of gnarly weeds and rocks, it's windy and there's a big storm coming in and a bear waiting to maul him. ;) That is the path that he chose through his insensitivity. YOUR path is under your control. You can and are walking it - and there is an end.

 

I know you may be mourning the "pre-him" you - but that "you" doesn't exist anymore. And that's a GOOD thing. If you are like me, the "you" from that time was probably too busy to volunteer like you are now. She was probably wrapped up in her relationship and wasn't thinking about herself or caring for herself. She was probably even unhappy in a lot of ways, and her growth was stagnated.

 

But the "you" that you are now is much better and stronger. You are proving that every day. You wouldn't want to be the "pre-him" you, because you are so much better now. It's ok to mourn the lost "you," but now you get to be whatever you want and grow in ways you never thought possible.

 

Please call a suicide hotline or an emergency line where you are. Please don't do anything to check out. Don't let him destroy you like this.

 

Please come back and let us know you are ok.

 

I'm trying to use my last strength (and all yours too, thank you) that I have and my gutsy way to feel better.

 

It's just all been too over whelming lately.

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