end of the road

[overtani]

i have been in a relatioship for three years it has been sometimes bad but most of it good, the problem is that it is getting a bit boring, i mean routine... i am losing the passion of the unkown. that what i had before being in a long term relationship. you do what you want, don't plan everything,and just think about your self.

 

now , in a long term relationship things seem to be more formal. by the way i am north african. i have different upbringing, but i don't follow religion or believe in it.

 

because i think all religions are stories to supress us and DICTATE LIFE FOR US. the problem is that they don't have any scientific proof and they alway contradict facts. so ...

 

back to my life,... well there are lots of things to say.if i do i'll be writing forever but i would like some opinions , a soul that can may be understand a bit of what i am saying . just to talk. which is good by BT.

 

OVERTANI

[LoveAngel]

i have been in a relatioship for three years it has been sometimes bad but most of it good, the problem is that it is getting a bit boring, i mean routine... i am losing the passion of the unkown. that what i had before being in a long term relationship. you do what you want, don't plan everything,and just think about your self. now , in a long term relationship things seem to be more formal. by the way i am north african. i have different upbringing, but i don't follow religion or believe in it. because i think all religions are stories to supress us and DICTATE LIFE FOR US. the problem is that they don't have any scientific proof and they alway contradict facts. so ... back to my life,... well there are lots of things to say.if i do i'll be writing forever but i would like some opinions , a soul that can may be understand a bit of what i am saying . just to talk. which is good by BT. OVERTANI

Dear Overtani,

 

The "problem" you are expressing is quite normal. Sometimes, when relationships last for extended periods of time, it seems that things become a bit routine, or predictable. There isn't that "spark" that used to exist between the couple. Most commonly, this is known as the transition from "love" to "loving" and usually occurs on average about two years into the relationship. It may be other things -- you haven't described the seriousness of the relationship, but assuming it is rather serious and that you both consider yourselves to "love" each other, it's the most likely cause. You've reached another level in the relationship that appears to be a downgrade from what you had in the past. In fact, it's just a sign that perhaps you didn't have a strong enough foundation to fall back on. As a couple, you need to work on ways to bring back the "spice" in your relationship and it's something that you both need to communicate about.

 

As far as "religion" is concerned, I don't see why you're bringing it up. I personally don't completely agree with your thoughts on some of those issues, but that's a personal opinion that you as an individual have a right to have. Life would be pretty sad if you needed "scientific evidence" to back everything up. Perhaps that reflects on the problems you're having in this relationship. It seems that you're confusing "religion" with "established" or "organized" religions that try to establish guidelines on how members should behave. Religious thought however is as individualistic as each person is unique. To say that all faith based beliefs are mere stories is something that I can't personally support at all. Love, itself, is something that can't be explained using any sort of scientific method. I guess I'm just a romantic at heart. Perhaps before you start to work on this relationship, you should take a deeper look at yourself and what your beliefs are. If you're living life thinking that everything needs scientific evidence or proven facts to exist, then I suggest you just forget about relationships all together. You're going to have rather unsuccessful experiences.

 

Best wishes to you!

 

Yours,

 

LoveAngel

[Xanex]

i have been in a relatioship for three years it has been sometimes bad but most of it good, the problem is that it is getting a bit boring, i mean routine... i am losing the passion of the unkown. that what i had before being in a long term relationship. you do what you want, don't plan everything,and just think about your self. now , in a long term relationship things seem to be more formal. by the way i am north african. i have different upbringing, but i don't follow religion or believe in it. because i think all religions are stories to supress us and DICTATE LIFE FOR US. the problem is that they don't have any scientific proof and they alway contradict facts. so ... back to my life,... well there are lots of things to say.if i do i'll be writing forever but i would like some opinions , a soul that can may be understand a bit of what i am saying . just to talk. which is good by BT. OVERTANI

Well it seems by the title of your thread that your relationship is over, so it can't be that "good". I find this quite humorous considering how you have been attacking every thoughtful response here and basically telling everyone else they don't know anything and shouldn't be talking. Your problem as you stated yourself is that your relationship isn't just about you. You have had to actually do some things that your partner finds interesting. Have you ever thought maybe the things that you want to do are boring her? Probably not since that would mean you would have to think about someone besides yourself. I think you should deal with your (self-love) issues before you waste someone else's time getting involved with them. It seems you have far to little capacity to share since your interests all seem to end with you.

 

Your feelings on religion show this same selfish pattern. There are rules, and you feel you are above any rules. I think your aversion to religion has far less to do with "scientific proof", than it does with your incredible self-indulgence. I feel sorry for anyone who is involved with you, as I am sure the relationship will be quite unfulfilling for them. Instead of attacking people here who are actually trying to help others, perhaps your time would be better spent with a good therapist.