Asking out strangers?

[Streetspirit]

There's a girl that works at a store near my home. I get that instant chemistry feeling since we first met. I talked to her fine and everything the first time, then she got stuck in my head. I recently went back to that place the other day and I got so nervous. I was going to bite the bullet and ask her to hang out or whatever, but then got to thinking..

 

Is asking out a somewhat stranger creepy? I've never done it before, and I dont know how it comes off. Any suggestions?

[LoisLane]

Do you have a name card? Just go up to her and tell you're interested in her. No big deal.

[Lizzie60]

There's a girl that works at a store near my home. I get that instant chemistry feeling since we first met. I talked to her fine and everything the first time, then she got stuck in my head. I recently went back to that place the other day and I got so nervous. I was going to bite the bullet and ask her to hang out or whatever, but then got to thinking..

 

Is asking out a somewhat stranger creepy? I've never done it before, and I dont know how it comes off. Any suggestions?

 

 

I doubt people only ask out 'friends'.. There's got to be a first time.. nothing creepy about that.

 

I have done that many times... trust me .. it works...

[sderenzi]

All my attempts to do what you're describing have failed, therefore I can only assume yours will fail as well. You should consider that you want to sleep with her because she's hot, then ignore her. This will not turn out well, she definitely won't say YES to anything, I bet she's got a boyfriend too.

[Streetspirit]

All my attempts to do what you're describing have failed, therefore I can only assume yours will fail as well. You should consider that you want to sleep with her because she's hot, then ignore her. This will not turn out well, she definitely won't say YES to anything, I bet she's got a boyfriend too.

 

 

Wow, what makes you think I'd do that? I don't see how I've given any indication of that being my intention. It's not like I'm trying to pick up a girl at a bar.

[yongyong]

Go join PUA forum. you will discover your potentials. When you realize those power , you will regret why the **** you didn't ask her out.

 

time is running out my friend (she might disappear someday)

just go up to her , talk normally and say 'how can we continue this conversation?'

[Phateless]

Go join PUA forum. you will discover your potentials. When you realize those power , you will regret why the **** you didn't ask her out.

 

time is running out my friend (she might disappear someday)

just go up to her , talk normally and say 'how can we continue this conversation?'

 

This guy's right. Do a google search for PUA and you'll find some great message boards to teach you the methods to asking out women. No offense, but your post strikes me as this girl being your only option? If you had 3 other numbers in your phone that you could call and arrange dates, would you still be so worried about this cashier? If yes, do that google search asap!

 

If you're determined to ask her out, just like this guy said. Go in there and make normal conversation a few times, but don't ask her out until you've already cruised through a few times. That way, she kinda sorta knows who you are already.

[Lovegod]

Is asking out a somewhat stranger creepy?

 

Only if you become friends with her first. If you start everything off on a sexual note first, you'll have a better chance of succeeding.

 

Get her number and set up a date.

[amerikajin]

There's a girl that works at a store near my home. I get that instant chemistry feeling since we first met. I talked to her fine and everything the first time, then she got stuck in my head. I recently went back to that place the other day and I got so nervous. I was going to bite the bullet and ask her to hang out or whatever, but then got to thinking..

 

Is asking out a somewhat stranger creepy? I've never done it before, and I dont know how it comes off. Any suggestions?

 

I used to feel nervous about asking girls out. I think guys get nervous because they attach too much of their own ego to the possibility of rejection, as though a rejection means that something is wrong with them. I suspect this is probably the case for you: you've built her up in your mind, so you're worried about the possibility of a rejection. Try to re-frame the way you approach women period. Understand that it's just a girl you don't know very well right now, but would like to. When you think about it this way, the things that you say and do will reflect this attitude and you'll come off looking a lot smoother.

[Phateless]

I used to feel nervous about asking girls out. I think guys get nervous because they attach too much of their own ego to the possibility of rejection, as though a rejection means that something is wrong with them. I suspect this is probably the case for you: you've built her up in your mind, so you're worried about the possibility of a rejection. Try to re-frame the way you approach women period. Understand that it's just a girl you don't know very well right now, but would like to. When you think about it this way, the things that you say and do will reflect this attitude and you'll come off looking a lot smoother.

 

Agreed. I have a tentative date for tomorrow and I keep reminding myself that I'm just gonna hang out with her to see if I think she's cool. I'm more worried about forming my opinion of her than the outcome.

[oppath]

As a guy asking a woman in this situation I agree, the best way is to noncholantly say "I've really enjoyed talking to you and want to continue this conversation. How can we continue to enjoy this some more?" If she is interested, she will give you her contact info or ask for yours. The second of those options...not a good chance she will contact you, but it has happened to me in this particular setting. In general you always want to get the contact info. If a girl asks for yours give it, but expect nothing, but be proud of the fact that you made the move.

[Streetspirit]

Thank you so much! I'll definitely google it and look into it some. I got out of a huge relationship about a year ago, and it was my first love. It ended very badly. I came home early to find her with someone else, so yeah, i guess my ego, and self esteem for that matter is a little damaged, but ..

 

I've been dating other girls over the past 6 months or so, I've dated about 5, which is too many in my opinion.

 

All of my relationships have started the same way, I knew it from the moment I met them, and this girl gave me the same feeling. It's hard to describe. That feeling doesnt come around often for me.

 

You were right when you said I build up that person and then fear rejection, and I'd love to get over that. I have no problem talking to girls I don't feel for!

 

Alright I'm off to google

 

Thanks again!

[Streetspirit]

I think I just identified the problems I'm having in the above post. major confidence issues.

[amerikajin]

I think I just identified the problems I'm having in the above post. major confidence issues.

 

The same principles apply during the date as they do before you ask her out. You may date a time or two and she may end up opting out - that's okay. It's ok if you have a few dates who don't work out. What's important is finding one that does.

 

But try not to attach too much ego to the dating process. It's a hard thing to do because when someone trips your trigger, it's easy to start getting carried away with your imagination. But you can't do that. You have to keep yourself in the here and now. You know you like this person and maybe they like you, but take it one step at a time. And if it doesn't work out, be gracious and just think of it as a learning experience and move on to another date. The key is not to take rejection personally. I think understanding that rejection is not so much about you as it is about the other person having different expectations is an important step toward gaining more confidence. Because then you don't blame yourself every time something goes wrong, which is self-defeating.

[Streetspirit]

The same principles apply during the date as they do before you ask her out. You may date a time or two and she may end up opting out - that's okay. It's ok if you have a few dates who don't work out. What's important is finding one that does.

 

But try not to attach too much ego to the dating process. It's a hard thing to do because when someone trips your trigger, it's easy to start getting carried away with your imagination. But you can't do that. You have to keep yourself in the here and now. You know you like this person and maybe they like you, but take it one step at a time. And if it doesn't work out, be gracious and just think of it as a learning experience and move on to another date. The key is not to take rejection personally. I think understanding that rejection is not so much about you as it is about the other person having different expectations is an important step toward gaining more confidence. Because then you don't blame yourself every time something goes wrong, which is self-defeating.

 

Words of wisdom. I'll keep this in mind for the future. Thank you.

 

I'm going to ask her out next time I see her, and let you all know how it goes!