stacy6910 Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 My boyfriend and I have been together a little over two years and we've talked about getting married several times. He always says we just do not have the money to get married but he wants to buy a house?! We live together in a tiny little apartment and he brought up buying a house together a few months ago. I mean yes I would love to have a house with him but shouldn't that come AFTER getting married? I told him to buy me a cheap ring and we'll have a bery small outside wedding...I told him I could wear my prom dress because it still fits and looks like a wedding dress! He then told me that he is simply not ready to marry me! How in the world can he want everything else but a marriage? We also have to rely on doctors to have children one day (IVF) and he told me to call the dr. and get an appointment so we can start trying to have a child together. I'm very confused...any help here? Link to post Share on other sites
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 I understand and respect his hesitancy on not being ready to marry. He'll know when he is. BUT, I think it's pretty crappy of him to ask you to start having kids together when you're not married. Even though that seems to be the way some people are doing it, it's still kind of tacky. My personal standards wouldn't allow me to have a man's child if we weren't married. But again, that's just me and how I view things. It seems he wants all the benefits of marriage without making the ultimate commitment to you. I kind of see that as a cop-out, but then again, I'm from another generation. Don't compromise or settle for giving him everything he wants without the commitment of marriage if you don't feel comfortable doing it. And don't let him make you feel guilty for FEELING the way you feel. They're YOUR feelings and you own them. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 I don't understand how he can be ready to make a commitment to having a child WITH you, but is not ready to commit TO you. Be honest with him and tell him to snap out of his little fantasy - you will neither be buying a house with him nor having a child with him until you two are married. Maybe once he wraps his mind around that, he'll give the concept of commitment some more thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 I can understand him... I have never wanted to get married... (never did, never will). For me it's just a piece of paper that says absolutely nothing.. it's only a tradition as far as I'm concerned... It's not important for him ... but if it is sooo important for you I say find a guy who wants to get married. Link to post Share on other sites
JA2 Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Since you are still so young, I think you need to take a brake from your relationship. Take some time be on your own. Take this time to decide if you really love your BF or just enjoy having him as a friend. I feel when you are with the right person, it shouldn't be so hard. I'm saying his beliefs about marriage are wrong, but the fact that you feel different may mean he's not right for you. Seriously, you are young, this is the time when you should be going out and enjoying life. The right man will come along, don't you worry about that, just don't rush it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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