shewasthesun Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 Hey everyone. I'm new here and thought I'd share my problem and hope to get some sort of advice. I recently married a Naval officer who has just been deployed and will soon be in Iraq. I better tell you my problem. I am JEALOUS of everyone... He is a great guy and I have no doubt in my mind that he will remain faithful but he sometimes talks about a girl at the base he's at or something, very casually, and it PISSES me off. He'll say something like "There's this chick here who's small like you and acts funny like you. It makes me miss you" He is obviously missing me. He loves me. He has no attraction to this girl but it makes me so mad. I don't tell him I'm mad. I just stop talking. I'll answer him with one word. It's obvious my mood has drastically changed but I don't tell him why. He's going to be in Iraq for about a year and I should be savoring every moment I get to hear his voice but I just shut down. After I get off the phone, I constantly think about it. It makes me even madder. I literally hate this girl. And she's probably the nicest girl ever but I just can't help it.... Tonight he called me after a 5 hour watch and told me he's doing another one tomorrow. When I asked why he told me that he's taking a girls shift who's family lives within driving distance and wants to go see them. I think "Why did HE volunteer to take over? Does he think she's cute or something? Is there something going on there?" When I know my husband is a nice guy and likes to help out... What is going on here?? Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 As a former Marine Corps officer in time of war I am distressed and somewhat disgusted by this post. He's a NAVAL OFFICER. Lady, it's his job to see to the health and welfare of his troops. Not to mention he's an officer and a gentleman. You obviously don't know how good you have it. Your husband is a quality man, a good officer, and will be sacrificing his personal comfort, saftey, and emotional happiness for his country and it's citizens. By your own admission he has done nothing to earn your mistrust and lack of respect. At the very least, you can take him at his word and support him as he serves all of us! Your jealousy is misplaced and unseemly, it's time to grow up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shewasthesun Posted November 18, 2007 Author Share Posted November 18, 2007 As I stated before, I kow he will not do anything unfaithful. I trust him completely. Before we met, I had just gotten out of a 2 year abusive relationship.(Where I get the feeling on insecurity) I also stated that this is just a problem I'm having. Nothing to do with him. I trust him. Please read what I say and not assume. I am proud of him. I will stand by him no matter what. Don't ever assume that I wont. Link to post Share on other sites
HarakIgia Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 Hey Shewasthesun, I just noticed that you had posted your own problem. It's really the old relationship issue messing with your mind. I hear how torn up you are about this and your husband sounds like a wonderful person. It's obvious that in order to be an officer and serve it would take a unselfish and giving person. That's why he's so quick to cover a fellow officer's shift (be it male or female). That's why you married him in the first place. He's sharing with you and keeping you in the loop. I would try and talk to someone about this though. The other relationship has hurt your self esteem. (we share this:) I've been working on this for the last year. That's why I'm unable to continue my situation that you posted on. So, give yourself a break and your hubby too. Make it safe for him to continue to talk to you and share and try not to shut him out or make him feel like he's doing anything wrong. Cause really he's not he's just paying for the last guys abuse. I hope this helps a little. I'm so happy to hear that you are in a loving relationship. I pray he stays out of harms way. I know that you can get past this jealousy it's just going to take some work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shewasthesun Posted November 18, 2007 Author Share Posted November 18, 2007 Thank you so much. I want everyone to know that I am in no way "mean" to him when I feel this way. I just kind of zone out. He has no idea I am mad at him and I make up for it when I click back. I love him so much and I know what a great guy he is and he knows I think so. I just have an issue I am currently working on. Thank you for your advice! Link to post Share on other sites
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