Friend, with mixed feelings...?

[Chesleyfan]

Alright, so some of this will likely sound like 90% of the other threads on here, but here goes:

 

I'm a graduate student. This semester a new girl joined the graduate program, and I was immediately attracted to her. We have one class together, and we really seemed to hit it off during a class field trip. After that day we spent a lot of time together over the next few weeks. I ended up spending the night at her apartment twice; we ended up making out and spooning.

 

The week following that second night things seemed a little different. I tried asking her to hang out and she turned me down, citing schoolwork (which, given the circumstances, could have been completely legit). That following weekend when we went out with mutual friends she acted kinda evasive, and I later asked her what the deal was. She admitted that she thought we should be friends "for now", asked me what I thought, and I agreed. (I lied).

 

So I figured I got Friendzoned. It's disappointing, but I've had it happen before. I knew it would be initially difficult seeing as how we are in the same department, but I figured if I took some time to myself things would be gravy.

 

However, ever since that conversation she's been sending me some mixed signals. The night after our talk she threw a party at her apartment, and I ended up crashing there. She offered either the futon in her shared living room/kitchen (it's shared between two roommates), or her bed. I chose the futon. She disappeared into her room, and returned a minute later, asking if I was sure I didn't want to sleep in her bed. I told her to stop being a tease and let me sleep.

 

Nearly every day I leave school and don't say goodbye to her first, I hear about it later. One day I declined an invitation to hang out with her and some friends for drinks, and she sent me an e-mail about it, ending with "I thought we were friends... :(". I explained to her that I wanted to get up early the next day to go fly fishing (because, despite everything else, I DO have priorities, hah), and she seemed a little hurt by that (she mentioned that "nobody in the department is going to see [me] again" because I "wanted to do [my] own thing").

 

There's been some playful touching/pushing/nudging type stuff. Last night I stopped by her place prior to us heading out for bowling, and she insisted I feel her legs because she just shaved. After we had a few drinks at the bowling alley she got even a little more playful, and seemed to find reasons to touch.

 

Whew. That was long. Anyway, I guess my point is... if she REALLY just wants to be friends, I can live with that. But, if she still might be open to something more than that, I would like to explore it. She has already laid down the ground rules (she just wants to be friends) but then she is doing things that I wouldn't call "just friendly" with my other female friends. I really don't want to just bring it up again, and look like I'm desperate for something to happen; I'd just like some clarification.

 

Do I dare mention it? Should I just play along right back, and see what happens? Should I just start fly fishing a lot more (brown trout runs are starting) and forget it about it?

[SuperFantastico]

Well my friend, you have inadvertantly played it exactly right. First you cant really be in the friend zone if there was initial sexual stuff. The friend zone is for maximum, spooning.

 

Second, you basically called her bluff later when you refused to sleep in her bed. Even refusing a second time. Thats called playing hard to get. If you had gone in there, you could have had a friendship spooning session with a second helping of blue balls. So you did good.

 

Third. You blew her off for fishing. Thats f**king brilliant. This shows her you have priorities and things to do OTHER then her. You sir are a natural.

 

Just keep it up. I'll send you some stuff.

 

P.S. private message me so i can send you stuff.