I can't stop obsessing over him looking at women in movies and tv i am too jealous

[ElvenPriestess]

Wow, I KNOW I wouldn't get those results, but if I thought for a second I would, I'd do it in a heart beat. That's so freakin' cool.

[michaelk]

I suppose I tend to think it's how one acts on those things that makes the difference.

 

Yes, I agree.

 

I think the more interesting question is how much of our behavior either can or should be controlled.

 

kkthxbye has made a great case for the benefits of allowing your partner to be their natural self.

 

[morelaugh]

I’m glad you found your way to solve your problem kkthxbye, and it’a great it works so well for you.

 

It may be true for your H to think about you and only you, but for the majority of men watching porn this is not the case – they watch to see something different, that is the main reason they watch.

 

They like variety.

 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thing most men will agree with this.

[michaelk]

I’m glad you found your way to solve your problem kkthxbye, and it’a great it works so well for you.

 

It may be true for your H to think about you and only you, but for the majority of men watching porn this is not the case – they watch to see something different, that is the main reason they watch.

 

They like variety.

 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thing most men will agree with this.

 

Yes, I agree.

[kkthxbye]

I’m glad you found your way to solve your problem kkthxbye, and it’a great it works so well for you.

 

It may be true for your H to think about you and only you, but for the majority of men watching porn this is not the case – they watch to see something different, that is the main reason they watch.

 

They like variety.

 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thing most men will agree with this.

 

And this is what makes this topic so important. Pornography in a relationship is often overlooked, misconstrued, or just taboo. This is what women want to know: Why? Why is it so important? Why can't you let it go? What is the attraction? What do you think about when you watch?

 

Now for the topic of variety you mentioned, if you're single, porn is great fun. Open minded relationship, even better. But didn't you toss variety out the window to be in a monogamous committed marriage/relationship? It seems highly unfair to request variety of women's netheregions and nipple sizes when you do have a lady in waiting next door to the living room. And this is why women protest the topic. It is cause for jealousy, for some of us, we can never live up those perfect bodies. I can never turn my legs in that direction and certainly can't take it for hours on end without being in serious pain. So don't ask us too, ya know? That's what this topic brings to the table. Yes I'm alright with porn, but under certain conditions that my husband respects and also agrees with. This works for us, but not for everyone.

 

What these ladies want to know is the level and depth of your pornographic pleasures after you've committed to only sleeping with them. And they have a right to understand that without disrespect. I respect your honesty, if you still want variety, and still take pleasure in master*ating or just watching porn after we're committed, then we may need to talk....because I take that, as a woman, that I'm not enough for your tastes. I can't live up to what you watch....and it causes me a little discomfort that I'm not enough for you. What I'm saying is, are you gentlemen replacing us with what you watch? My husband says its not a substitute, but almost like eating an avocado, its an aphrodisiac to him he enjoys on occasion to waking me up in the middle of the night for a sleepy romp. But what do other men do it for?? When in a relationship?

this is an awesome topic!!!

[morelaugh]

I don’t think I will be able to answer most of your questions kkthxbye, as I am not a man! Funny you should think I was.

 

But from what I understand – and I have researched the topic for a while – it all boils down to:

• It DOESN’T mean they are trying to replace us, it doesn’t mean we are not enough and it doesn’t mean we are not attractive enough.

• It DOES mean they need variety, it does mean they can be (very physically) attracted to other women (even our best friends) and even sometimes masturbate thinking about them, but will never act on it (most of them, anyway).

• It DOES mean they like, sometimes crave to look at other naked women and to fantasize about having sex with them (and that doesn’t change even if we fulfil every single of their fantasies)

• It DOES NOT mean they don’t love us and want to hurt us.

Again, I think that majority of men will agree with this.

 

Having said that, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I like all of the above.

[michaelk]

I don’t think I will be able to answer most of your questions kkthxbye, as I am not a man! Funny you should think I was.

 

But from what I understand – and I have researched the topic for a while – it all boils down to:

• It DOESN’T mean they are trying to replace us, it doesn’t mean we are not enough and it doesn’t mean we are not attractive enough.

• It DOES mean they need variety, it does mean they can be (very physically) attracted to other women (even our best friends) and even sometimes masturbate thinking about them, but will never act on it (most of them, anyway).

• It DOES mean they like, sometimes crave to look at other naked women and to fantasize about having sex with them (and that doesn’t change even if we fulfil every single of their fantasies)

• It DOES NOT mean they don’t love us and want to hurt us.

Again, I think that majority of men will agree with this.

 

Yes, well put. And I respect your right not to like it, even though it is an integral part of being male.

[kkthxbye]

So my next question is this: Can we live with it as ladies (sorry Morelaugh, I didn't mean to make you think I thought you were a guy,). Can we live with these fantasies about other women, and not get jealous over insecurities, and not throw it up in your face when we fight, and not let it weigh on our minds all the time?

 

I say yes, we can not care about this facet of life and think about other things. Or we can try it ourselves if we don't fantasize already.

 

My husband has admitted to a man crush on Richard Gere. He thinks he hung the moon and is the handsomest man he's ever seen. He wants to age gracefully and have a head of silver sexy hair when he gets older. Is this normal? Or is hubby closet fantasizing something I'm not ready to ask about?

 

And before we go here, or to another thread, yes I have fantasies all the time about being with women. I don't know why, its like I hit my 30's and suddenly I have this desire to be with a lady. I know what is causing it, but I think I'll find the appropriate thread.

[ElvenPriestess]

So my next question is this: Can we live with it as ladies (sorry Morelaugh, I didn't mean to make you think I thought you were a guy,). Can we live with these fantasies about other women, and not get jealous over insecurities, and not throw it up in your face when we fight, and not let it weigh on our minds all the time?

 

I say yes, we can not care about this facet of life and think about other things. Or we can try it ourselves if we don't fantasize already.

 

My husband has admitted to a man crush on Richard Gere. He thinks he hung the moon and is the handsomest man he's ever seen. He wants to age gracefully and have a head of silver sexy hair when he gets older. Is this normal? Or is hubby closet fantasizing something I'm not ready to ask about?

 

And before we go here, or to another thread, yes I have fantasies all the time about being with women. I don't know why, its like I hit my 30's and suddenly I have this desire to be with a lady. I know what is causing it, but I think I'll find the appropriate thread.

 

Well you have me dying of curiosity I wish you could just tell ME. :-)

[kkthxbye]

I found a good thread, its in the gender & sexuality portion, I think it titled bisexual curious? I went ahead and posted it. feel free to flame or comment, I am still examining why i'm open so bad, maybe i just like talking about myself? LOL ahh doornails!