You're not going to agree with me but we're all losers here

[KittenMoon]

What's with all the crazies posting lately?

 

How can you know if everyone here are losers? More importantly, ugly? Do you have cameras in everyone's houses?!

 

But by all means, keep making these broad-sweeping statements if they make YOU feel less alone in this.

[allina]

What's with all the crazies posting lately?

 

noobs

[Citizen Erased]

I don't agree I'm not ugly and I'm not a loser

 

Me too, I'm fantastic thank you very much

[Trimmer]

Some people are born ugly like you and me and nothing is going to change that.

I think you make the mistake of assuming that "not beautiful" means "ugly."

 

I think there are beautiful people and ugly people out there. And the other 98% (the "you and me" you refer to) are in a wide range somewhere in the middle.

 

I'm a realist. I think I'm somewhere in the middle - with the masses. Not striking, not notably handsome. I wouldn't qualify as one of the "beautiful people", if you were to put my picture up on "hot or not," or send me in for a screen test for "lifeguard #2" in a beach movie.

 

So, you seem to see the world as 1% beautiful and lucky, and 99% ugly, and you identify yourself in the 99%.

 

I see the world more like, say, 1% beautiful, 1% ugly, and 98% "the rest." And I'm in that 98% and it is a rich playground. I don't worry about finding a 1st percentile beautiful mate, and I don't hold myself to the standard of being a 1st percentile beautiful "catch" and it frees me up to make real connections and be with real people.

 

No, I won't tell you that personality makes someone visually beautiful, but it can make an "average" person attractive to me. I can't speak for everyone, as you seem to do; I can tell you that I have experienced it myself.

 

The brutal truth in life is that if you're not born with 'it' you will go down the road of failure and misery.

While a lot of people on the face of the earth are certainly destined or born into lives of failure and misery; I think it's a little overwrought to assert that being born "not beautiful" is an irrevocable sentence of this magnitude. There is far deeper failure and misery to be found in the world than you have even scratched the surface of by not being beautiful.

 

For some who don't believe because they're not convinced by this utterly unfair ridiculous test then I'm afraid you just have to accept life as it is. Yeh it's sh*t but you have no choice and you have to get on with it. You have to go to work 9 - 5 everyday in a useless underpaid job with no hope of being promoted, coz you were born stupid and ugly. Then you go back home and sit alone while stuffing your face in junk food. You watch some porn, jack off then go to sleep. You have no g/f, no friends. infact all your friends are successful with beautiful wives and g/fs. Your misery is compounded, you eat more, you get fatter, uglier and older. You get caught in a vicious cycle that you can't get out of and before you know it, your life is f*cking over. REST in F*CKING AGONY.

You keep telling me about my life (talking in the second person "you") yet as an average, not-beautiful-yet-not-ugly person, I don't share your experience. I can only imagine that it is your experience, though, and despite your protestations, I am sorry for that.

 

You say you're past it, yet your writing defines your life (we have to assume you are talking about your life here...) so much in terms of your value, worth, or beauty to others; if this approach is taking you down the road of failure and misery, what is preventing you from taking control, and choosing to live life in a way that suits you, on your terms? Is there nothing besides the choice of a mate that would make a life something you would honor and feel worthwhile living within?

[KittenMoon]

I just gotta say, specifically about beauty, it's SO subjective. Those abercrombie boys & girls are :sick: to me. I like unique, not cookie cutter, and so I've been attracted to some interesting looking people who wouldn't conventionally be called beautiful or hot.

 

I've found the same thing goes for everyone, even me! I grew up thinking I was hideously ugly because boys never liked me like the other girls in my high school. Then I went to college- totally different story. I even remember one time this guy who I always thought was a total douchebag whispered to a mutual aquaintance of ours (as I approached) "She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." When my friend told me later, I was nearly floored- I NEVER thought anyone would say that about me (when not specifically in love with me and all brain-fuzzy).

 

I'm still amazed when someone does this- but then I just remember how I swoon for some guys my friends would go "ew" over, and vice versa.

 

Eye of the beholder- subjectivity- whatever. Anyone can be beautiful, but it happens more when you show a little confidence.

[Curmudgeon]

of course not. you're here to gloat. have fun.

 

You don't know me!

 

You're becoming a prime example of the common wisdom that says, "Better to keep silent and let people think you're a fool than open your mouth and confirm the fact."

 

Obviously you have no purpose here but to trump up tales of woe and be a negative presence. You're not real.

 

That defines either a troll or a loser, although the two are rather synonymous.

[RecordProducer]

"Better to keep silent and let people think you're a fool than open your mouth and confirm the fact."

The prigonal saying goes "... and remove all doubt."

 

Curm, what's wrong? PMS? Too much testosterone? You're not behaving lately. You need sex.

[OpenBook]

Oh, SamIam... You are so wrong. The best lover I have ever had was also one of the ugliest guys I have ever gone out with. We would still be together today if it wasn't for all his insecurities. He was quite confident in what he did professionally (I met him at work) and that made my knees weak... in a GOOD way, if you catch my drift. I don't know where all the insecurities came from... they blindsided me.

 

Confidence, my man - CONFIDENCE. That is the only thing standing between you and successful relationships with beautiful women.

[bigheartkindsoul]

One mans (or womans) junk is another mans (or womens) treasure

[samQ2005]

Oh, SamIam... You are so wrong. The best lover I have ever had was also one of the ugliest guys I have ever gone out with. We would still be together today if it wasn't for all his insecurities. He was quite confident in what he did professionally (I met him at work) and that made my knees weak... in a GOOD way, if you catch my drift. I don't know where all the insecurities came from... they blindsided me.

 

Confidence, my man - CONFIDENCE. That is the only thing standing between you and successful relationships with beautiful women.

 

Can I speak to you privately?

[wizer]

Can I speak to you privately?

 

Just ask her right here. It's only fair to the rest of us.

[IpAncA]

what do you mean?

 

Re-read your first post and then ask me why I don't believe the quote below.

 

Goodluck to you all as I feel sorry for you. Don't feel sorry for me though coz i'm past that stage.

[Dante42]

SamQ there's a lot of brutal honesty in your initial post and some of what you said, to some extent I agree with. It is true that those born gifted in looks tend to have happier lives, they often get the better jobs and are regarded as being more intelligent by others. Your chances of landing a drop dead gorgeous gf are reduced. Being born ugly is a disadvantage.

 

HOWEVER. Missing limbs or other deformities is way worse which is much harder to do anything about. Ok so you're ugly. But you can to some extent make yourself less ugly. Maybe you have to work a little harder to groom yourself than others. Life is not fair but you deal with the hand that gets dealt you and you find a way to be happy.

 

It is totally not fair that women over 40 find it very hard to get a decent guy while it is common for men of the same age not to have as much difficulty. Guys tend to be more obsessed with the physical look than women so you are already ahead compared to if you were an ugly chick.

 

Instead of dwelling on how ugly you are, do what you can to maximise what you have. Find a hairdresser who can do something with your hair or advise you what to do if you don't have a lot of hair. If you got a huge schnozz, consider rhinoplasty. If you fat, lose weight. If all else fails, concentrate on getting very very rich. You don't want a women to be with you for your money BUT what arouses women is more than just the physical. A confident man with money is seen as someone strong and virile and attractive even if they lack beauty in the classical sense. Basic evolutionary psychological, women subconsciously are attracted to males who can provide for their offspring, men are attracted to women who have the attributes that go with the ability to bear many healthy offspring which is why they are focused on breasts and wide hips etc.

 

I'm over simplifying here but rather than blow smoke up your ass with a lot of trite platitudes, I thought I would give you some straight (if brutal) advice.

 

Case in point, I am no adonis. I'm not ugly but neither am I pretty. I'm very average in the looks department and yet I have no problem attracting and dating gorgeous women despite my disadvantage (being an arrogant pompous ass).

 

How you look is less important than the rest of the package. Ok that sounds trite but it is actually true. You CAN do a lot to compensate for your genetic disadvantage. However like most things in life worth having, you have to work at it, strive for it, do the hard yards. It is much easier to sit on your ass and moan about how unfair the world is. We all have negatives in us whether it be looks or personality or economic situation.

 

Those who find what they need to be happy in life are those prepared to work at it. It's a lot easier to dwell in misery moaning about how unfair life is - no effort required.

[katiebour]

I saw an interesting movie that's up on http://www.veoh.com to watch if y'all like. It's a Korean film (with subtitles) called "200 Pound Beauty." (I think that Koreans are so used to the metric system that they think 200 is a lot more than it is ) This movie is about a young woman with a beautiful voice who has a dual career as a phone sex operator and backstage voice of an onstage lip-synching music idol. The beautiful girl out front gets all the glory and credit while the heavy, unattractive girl in back gets a paycheck and a chance to see the man she has a huge crush on.

 

After a crushing rejection and having the relationship between the lip-synching idol and her crush revealed, the backstage singer decides to "disappear" and go through life-altering plastic surgery. After a year of surgery and exercise, she emerges as an incredibly beautiful woman who stops traffic. Besides her purchased looks, she also has her singing talent, which she uses to become the next big idol. This career move brings her back into touch with the man she had a crush on, and it's your guess as to whether they end up together or not.

 

The movie does a wonderful job of discussing the issues of beauty and personality- the price for beauty and the value of the inner person. It also does a great job of pointing out that people who are beautiful on the outside can be ugly on the inside, and vice versa. The fact that unattractive people do not often get the relationships that they want is also addressed.

 

My point is this- if you feel that your looks are having such a negative impact on your life that it is impossible for you to be happy, then yes, you do have a choice. Get a job, earn 20-30k, and go under the knife. Change your face and your body, hell, change your name and move across the country. Tell people that all your baby pictures were destroyed in a house fire.

 

If I felt as bad about myself as you seem to, then my life would be galvanized about trying to change those circumstances, like Hana in "200 Pounds Beauty." The fact that you are not trying to change your physical appearance leads me to conclude that what you most dislike about yourself cannot be fixed. And that, my poor, suffering friend, is 100% on the inside. Your negative, depressed attitude combined with a "everyone can kiss my a$$" demeanor probably does more to turn girls off than your looks possibly could.

 

I am, literally, a 200-pound beauty. Although I am not physically the person I would like to be, I am proud of my knowledge and skills, happy with my job, and although I'm not skinny I dress well and am fairly attractive. In the end, I think most of the people I know like me for my sense of humor, my attractive and often-seen smile, my upbeat manner, my intelligence, and my dedication to my work and my friends.

 

My weight does not trap me in this well of depression in which you seem to find yourself. It's not all about looks, kiddo.

[samQ2005]

Just ask her right here. It's only fair to the rest of us.

 

she's not replying, i wonder why

[Trialbyfire]

she's not replying, i wonder why

You're not listening to anything, anyone has posted. You're determined to blame it on your looks because it's what you see in the mirror. Sometimes the external is a reflection of the internal. Think about it.

 

Edit: To add to this, I could sit around all day long and whine that I'm not perfect. I could whine that life is unfair because I'm not 5'8" and a willowy model. You know what? Fook anyone who wants me to be something superficial I'm not.

[Lovegod]

The brutal truth in life is that if you're not born with 'it' you will go down the road of failure and misery.

 

...and good morning to you too, Mr. F*cking Sunshine! Poor baby. Life just too goddam hard, isn't it? Everyone else can succeed, but you can't so you're just gonna quit and cry everytime life gets hard.

 

Then there's people like Me and RecordProducer who have gone through the 5hit that life throws at you, but have learned not to let it get to us. In fact, we take control and fix the stuff in our life that sucks. Oh, but wait, you have stated the following:

 

Like many other posts, those ideas are based on fantasy. Things don't work like that in the real world.

 

It's absolutely unbelievable that there are people out there who refuse to take any kind of control of their life and make things better for themselves. If someone's dragging you through the mud, cut the rope. If your best friend steals money from you, make him an ex-friend. But no, you'd rather continue to get raped up the ass because you're just not "born with it", whatever the hell "it" happens to be to fit your current bout of misfourtune.

 

Oh, and I love how you contradict yourself in your first post. Let's see that again, shall we?

 

It's not a question of confidence or self esteem.

Life is gonna stay sh*t for most of us and NO, there is no hope, it is a dead end, we've been f*cked since we were born coz our parents were ugly.

 

I was at a point where I thought I was an ugly bastard because no woman wanted me. I didn't get laid until I was 20 years old, and I was lucky that some woman was interested in me. And after she ditched my ass, I decided to get my life under control. I went out and bettered my personality, my interactions with women, and learned how to attract damn near any woman I want. Now, this ugly loser who wasn't born with "it" is able to get any woman he wants instead of sitting at home jacking off to porn. So my point is if you want to get your head out of your ass and do something about wallowing in your own 5hit, you'll be able to be just as successful as I've become.

 

...of course, unless you enjoy drawing attention to yourself with negativity.

[EricOnTheWeb]

Edit: To add to this, I could sit around all day long and whine that I'm not perfect. I could whine that life is unfair because I'm not 5'8" and a willowy model. You know what? Fook anyone who wants me to be something superficial I'm not.

 

Sam I understand the fashion in which you wrote your thread, I to get angry like that. What TBF wrote above is the attitude you and I need to grasp.

If not, then we'll both continue to be losers.

 

I'm in the same boat guy.. Life gets hard, that is for sure.

[Zona76]

Why oh why do all the guys want to go out with the beautiful brainless females that only want their money?

Most of you guys aren't so hot... so explains the OP

So why would you want the gorgeous girl?

Don't you think it's possible to be attracted to the non-model types?

Are you so suckered into this crazy world of plastic beauty that you think that is what love is?

[RecordProducer]

Why oh why do all the guys want to go out with the beautiful brainless females that only want their money?

Anybody who only cares about going out with Miss America deserves the lonely life he (most likely) leads.

[samQ2005]

Sam I understand the fashion in which you wrote your thread, I to get angry like that. What TBF wrote above is the attitude you and I need to grasp.

If not, then we'll both continue to be losers.

 

I'm in the same boat guy.. Life gets hard, that is for sure.

 

Believe me, i tried everything that people have said already but then things happen again that knock you right back.

 

You can be as confident and as optimistic as you want, the real world will not reward you.

 

i am not asking for Miss World, infact I have such low expectations that you'd feel sorry.

 

Some people on here say one thing, but i bet they behave totally differently in the real world.

[sb129]

Don't presume to speak for me."

 

Don't presume to speak for me either.

 

You can be as confident and as optimistic as you want, the real world will not reward you.

Some people on here say one thing, but i bet they behave totally differently in the real world.

 

Bollocks to both of those statements.

 

The more you wallow in self pity and self loathing, the more you will reinforce your own view of the world- its a self perpetuating cycle.

 

I behave on here exactly the same way I do IRL. My BF is not Adonis, but he is to me.

 

Lets look at famous "unattractive" people, shall we?

 

Jack Black- fat, but funny- gets girls.

 

Stephen Hawking- freaky, mega-brainy- gets girls

 

Ricky Gervais- fat, bad hair, dodgy teeth, funny- in a long term R.

 

I could go on and on, thre are loads onf ugly men out there who are getting laid.

[Lizzie60]

Believe me, i tried everything that people have said already but then things happen again that knock you right back.

 

You can be as confident and as optimistic as you want, the real world will not reward you.

 

i am not asking for Miss World, infact I have such low expectations that you'd feel sorry.

 

Some people on here say one thing, but i bet they behave totally differently in the real world.

 

I agree with that statement (bold)... and one day or another, the real life comes out... (ie some people states that they have a perfect relationship..when they well know it's not that perfect, until they are heading for a divorce)...

 

I am very good at reading people... even on a board like this... I know who is being 'phoney' are who's being real.... it's not that hard to tell.

[sb129]

I agree with that statement (bold)... and one day or another, the real life comes out... (ie some people states that they have a perfect relationship..when they well know it's not that perfect, until they are heading for a divorce)...

 

I am very good at reading people... even on a board like this... I know who is being 'phoney' are who's being real.... it's not that hard to tell.

 

There have been a few incidents recently where I have been quite surprised at real-life revelations, although to be fair, I haven't dug particularly deep into analysing said posters, I have just assumed things about them from the tone of their posts on here. Wrongly it would appear.

 

There are also some posters who seem to enjoy wallowing in their own misery, despite repeated attempts at other posters trying to get them out of it. I lose my patience pretty quick on those threads, if you hadn't noticed. Best for me to stay away if at first a post doesn't succeed.

 

I am pretty direct IRL, and the number of infractions I have here would suggest a few LSers agree with me!

 

I am lucky enough to be one of the ones who actually IS in a happy R, but who knows, anything can happen, things could change, although I hope they don't, I am not arrogant enough to presume I am immune to the ups and downs of life, and I have had my fair share over the years.

 

Anyway, point is... Sam is either looking for affirmation that he is right, or people debating with him so he can continue to post negative thoughts.

I don't think he has any interest at all in actually pulling himself out of this current negative mindset..... or maybe I am wrong about that too?

[samQ2005]

I agree with that statement (bold)... and one day or another, the real life comes out... (ie some people states that they have a perfect relationship..when they well know it's not that perfect, until they are heading for a divorce)...

 

I am very good at reading people... even on a board like this... I know who is being 'phoney' are who's being real.... it's not that hard to tell.

 

What do you read of me Lizzie?