Steaming hot mad

[Mad Woman]

I stumbled across this site because recently my boyfriend has been looking at the porn online. It bothers the hell out of me. I think it has to do with my insecurities pretty much because I knew he looked at it when we first started dating. But oddly enough it didn't bother me as much back then.

 

Since then though, I've been thinking about this a lot, maybe too much. We live together now. The computer is like 2 feet away from the bed. And when I fall asleep, he jacks off to other women. I've actually woken up to this and just silently laid there thinking..... HELLO, im right here, Im in bed waiting for you and you're sitting there fantasizing about screwing other women. HELLO, Im laying here waiting for you to come to bed so you can screw ME!

 

I recently had a huge argument with him about this. I was on the internet looking at the sites and playcating him, "Oh so you wanna screw her do ya" And he said I was humiliating him. But I'm the one who feels humiliated and insulted. I have no problem with him looking at porn when he's not in my presence. If I'm gone for the night and don't know about it. But when I'm in bed waiting for him to come sleep with me and he'd rather jack off, it really pisses me off. Another thing, he can't even please me, the whole time we've been together I've only had 2 orgasms and we've done it alot. Also I have no idea what it feels like to "go all night". He's done in 10 minutes. Im really frustrated and upset with our sex life. He says that I probably think about it alot more than him because I stew in my own juices. But maybe it has to do with the fact that he can't please me or that I'm uncomfortable with myself naked.

 

I know that he's a guy and has hormones, but I dont sit there and masterbate to other guys. As far as I'm concerned the male body is disgusting. The male genitalia grosses me out. And his selfish sexual urges piss me off. Maybe if I was satisfied in bed this wouldn't bother me, but he is bad in bed. Even though I don't have anything to compare him to because hes the only guy I've ever been with, but it just sucks. I know my madness runs deeper than porn. In fact just writing this is making me steam.

 

Ironically, it kind of feels like I'm the one with the porn obsession because I can't stop thinking about him fantasizing about other women. It really hurts me, but then again, I don't know if I like the feeling of being hurt because I can't get it out of my head. I'm always bringing it up. Sometimes I think I'd be better off with a woman. Im very confused and pissed off.

 

Editor's note: This thread originally appeared as a response to hubby looks at porn.

[Tony T]

Some men use porn and masturbation as a way to avoid intimacy. This is due to very deep issues from childhood that have to be addressed by a competent psychotherapist. Your guy may be acting out anger against women because his own mother was unavailble to him...so he is going to be unavailable to you. He may have been physically and/or abandoned as a child...abused...of whatever.

 

There are so many reasons for this highly irrational behavior because a close intimate relationship with a woman is far more satisfying than masturbation to some unknown stimulant.

 

If your boyfriend doesn't agree on getting counselling immediately, I strongly recommend you move out as soon as possible. Read your own post again. Any male who masturbates to porn just feet away from his girlfriend is one critically ill sick pup. He has problems with hair on them and you don't need to put up with it. But, by all means, give him the chance to get help before you decide on dumping him.

[Sunsonfire02]

I totally understand. I just found out last night after looking up something online that my fiance is looking at porn in the mornings after I leave for work and in the evening before I get home. I found over 300 porn web pages in the history in the past two months. I cleared the history just two months ago after we had this conversation about him not taking care of bussiness to porn either it be DVD, Video, mags. or online. He continued to do it behind my back. I really don't know where to go or what to do. I have tried to talking to him about but he says that he guesses that he just enjoys it. I have noticed in the past few months also that the sex isn't as good anymore and he is very distant from me. Should I be worried about something more going on?

 

Please Help!