babyboo82 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 hi im jo 7 weeks ago my partner of 4 years walked out-saying he didn't love me anymore-fair enough i cried sulked ate to much chocolate....im joking i was devastated...utterly him and my family never got on they never agreed with anything and their was just always a power thing going on.... for the past 7 weeks he has been living in a hostel.....a few days ago he came back preaching of his undying love for me and his kids x4 he says that the reason he left was to arrange a new house for us and a new job for him-so we can get away from my family-so apparently in the last 7 weeks he has a new job a house about 5 miles from inlaws and he wants to move at night and not tell my folks where we're gone-he also said he said he didnt love me so i would let him go so to speak....he thought id take him back-and he said a few days ago(visiting kids)i cant wait til xmas...and i replied oh and where are you spending yours---nothing more was said and then i realised i dont want him back---my analogy is when you cant have something because it hurts you and he did abandon me 8 months pregnant calling me every name he could think of..ie..cigarettes or booze...you dont want it anymore-crap example but u get me....hes hurt me so much i cant love him...how do i explain he ruined the family by going and we can never go back.....but do i for my kids Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 You did the right thing. Let him go, scrape yourself off and find yourself and then someone new. Best of luck to you.... Link to post Share on other sites
daisydufas22 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 hi im jo 7 weeks ago my partner of 4 years walked out-saying he didn't love me anymore-fair enough i cried sulked ate to much chocolate....im joking i was devastated...utterly him and my family never got on they never agreed with anything and their was just always a power thing going on.... for the past 7 weeks he has been living in a hostel.....a few days ago he came back preaching of his undying love for me and his kids x4 he says that the reason he left was to arrange a new house for us and a new job for him-so we can get away from my family-so apparently in the last 7 weeks he has a new job a house about 5 miles from inlaws and he wants to move at night and not tell my folks where we're gone-he also said he said he didnt love me so i would let him go so to speak....he thought id take him back-and he said a few days ago(visiting kids)i cant wait til xmas...and i replied oh and where are you spending yours---nothing more was said and then i realised i dont want him back---my analogy is when you cant have something because it hurts you and he did abandon me 8 months pregnant calling me every name he could think of..ie..cigarettes or booze...you dont want it anymore-crap example but u get me....hes hurt me so much i cant love him...how do i explain he ruined the family by going and we can never go back.....but do i for my kids Hey ......I am so sorry this happened to you, in no way did you deserve it! In my opinion....just say 'no' to him...... He caused the break up! Explain the reasons if you must but I really do think that you are better off without him! He wants you not to tell your folks where you are going??? Now, that does not sound right...be careful!!! Good luck and best wishes! Link to post Share on other sites
Author babyboo82 Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 so u think i should tell him straight but i feel dead guilty-he thought we were gonna all go together but now i feel like i do he will be on his own-could guilt make it work Link to post Share on other sites
Author babyboo82 Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 i do rely on my mum a lot id feel awfu; just going but what about kids i have 4 under 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 What new internal changes has this guy displayed over the course of time? Has anything about him really changed? How has he EARNED his way back into the marriage? If your answers are "none", "nothing", and "he hasn't"... I think you'd do well to consider what you're really looking for in a lifelong partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 so u think i should tell him straight but i feel dead guilty-he thought we were gonna all go together but now i feel like i do he will be on his own-could guilt make it work If you reject him... do it for the correct reasons! Do it because he is a jerk and fails to appreciate you. Do not do this out of resentment and anger. I dont see this as a positive that your living with your parents. However, that may be a cultural bias! Link to post Share on other sites
writeon Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Hi Jo, It doesn't make sense to me that he would tell you he doesn't love you anymore and call you bad names, and then 7 weeks later, show up out of the blue and say he has arranged a house and life for you and the kids. Something is fishy... if that were the case, he would have just told you in the beginning, "I am going to go make a house and life for us." I don't really understand your whole story, so I have some questions for you so that I can help more. Do you live in the US? Are all of the kids his kids? Is there any reason the two of you didn't get married in the 4 years you were together? (I'm not saying that to be judgmental, I understand that some people don't want to get married etc. But I'm trying to figure out your past history with this guy -- did he say he would marry you and never did? Did he not have enough money? Is he not committed? Or was it just a personal choice not get married? Etc.) Why do you SUSPECT he came back after 7 weeks? Do you think he truly loves you? Link to post Share on other sites
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