child_of_isis Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Another reason why OW's get thrown under the bus...His idea of excitement must be stress... Trying to juggle two women stops being fun after a short while. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 I have never been the OW. I did see someone that was in the middle of a relationship, she moved out, but never a MM man. I just can never stand the thought of someone doing that to me, I am all about the KARMA thing ! Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Another reason why OW's get thrown under the bus... And then another affair is born... Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 I have never been the OW. I did see someone that was in the middle of a relationship, she moved out, but never a MM man. I just can never stand the thought of someone doing that to me, I am all about the KARMA thing ! Yes, there's karma in the original post... Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 So, you believe that once they cheat even if it was the first time, they will do it again? Maybe due to the vows are now broken, why not? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 So, you believe that once they cheat even if it was the first time, they will do it again? Maybe due to the vows are now broken, why not? Yes... I'm convinced that most of the time, that's what happens... they get addicted to the excitement and the ego boost... they feel alive again and they adore that feeling. MOST if not ALL do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Wow, that is sad, but for some reason I do not doubt it ! Well, he is free to do whomever he wants very soon.....he had a good woman, now he can try and find another ! Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 So, you believe that once they cheat even if it was the first time, they will do it again? Maybe due to the vows are now broken, why not? No, I believe that if his only reason-or the main factor in him dropping one particular OW is because she started demanding more from him, he will probably cheat again. I don't think once a cheater always a cheater, but I think it probably gets easier each time for them. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 That is what I think.....I believe if you are already unhappy enough in your M to cheat, what makes you think that you are going to be happy enough NOW to not do it again. You have already done it once, actually thinking you got away with it, why not do it again but just be more cautious.... By the way, he could not ever have the OW in my story, it is his 1/2 sister, how gross is that ! Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 That is what I think.....I believe if you are already unhappy enough in your M to cheat, what makes you think that you are going to be happy enough NOW to not do it again. You have already done it once, actually thinking you got away with it, why not do it again but just be more cautious.... By the way, he could not ever have the OW in my story, it is his 1/2 sister, how gross is that ! Ugh! Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Yes Virgo, it is true......pretty f----- nasty huh ! I am sure it was grossly an EA from what I heard on the tape, but I am not sure if it was a PA as well. He said that he loves her and they have a connection he cannot explain, but it was not in a romatic way at all, but yet a strong bond. They did not meet until recently and they bonded quickly. He has had a rough childhood not knowing his family and she sort of just took him under her wing so to speak. To this day, I have no real proof it was more than just STRONG sibling love, but the way they acted and the many phone calls etc.....I just have a GUT feeling there was more to it than they want to admit because it is so grossly taboo and so bad ! They do not really talk at all anymore, but I know him.....he was in love with her, maybe not her, but he was ! Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Yes Virgo, it is true......pretty f----- nasty huh ! I am sure it was grossly an EA from what I heard on the tape, but I am not sure if it was a PA as well. He said that he loves her and they have a connection he cannot explain, but it was not in a romatic way at all, but yet a strong bond. They did not meet until recently and they bonded quickly. He has had a rough childhood not knowing his family and she sort of just took him under her wing so to speak. To this day, I have no real proof it was more than just STRONG sibling love, but the way they acted and the many phone calls etc.....I just have a GUT feeling there was more to it than they want to admit because it is so grossly taboo and so bad ! They do not really talk at all anymore, but I know him.....he was in love with her, maybe not her, but he was ! He crossed the line when it became clear he felt ROMANTIC love for his blood relative. Romantic love is reserved for the UNRELATED!!!! I can tell by your posts you agree... Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Yes Virgo, it is true......pretty f----- nasty huh ! I am sure it was grossly an EA from what I heard on the tape, but I am not sure if it was a PA as well. He said that he loves her and they have a connection he cannot explain, but it was not in a romatic way at all, but yet a strong bond. They did not meet until recently and they bonded quickly. He has had a rough childhood not knowing his family and she sort of just took him under her wing so to speak. To this day, I have no real proof it was more than just STRONG sibling love, but the way they acted and the many phone calls etc.....I just have a GUT feeling there was more to it than they want to admit because it is so grossly taboo and so bad ! They do not really talk at all anymore, but I know him.....he was in love with her, maybe not her, but he was ! This will always haunt you, won't it? It's more of a statement than a question. I really feel for you as I "heard" the tape on your thread. Yours is a double-whammy and I don't envy you. Good luck with your decision and your plans. Link to post Share on other sites
KnownTruth Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 I was just wondering. Clearly there is a lack of something in the marriage that the MM has to have a lover on the side. Now I'm talking about the man who has one lover for a long time period--not one night stands/flings. Why doesn't this man leave his wife? My experience dating a MM, I find he will say he is unhappy and does not leave because of the children, money, doesn't want to hurt his family, does not want to lose his house and other possesions....I understand the Why's because it is not easy to just "walk away" it is more complicated than that. Yet I think that if someone is unhappy they need to find a way to deal with the circumstances and make a change. I think MM are too comfortable and don't want to disrupt there life when they have two woman at the same time taking care of all his needs. Link to post Share on other sites
imstunned Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 They dont leave because they dont want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 and why would they? They have everything they want... a comfortable home with kids running around.. a wife who does most of the work (at home) a good job where they get to meet tons of nice people... the freedom to come and go as they wish... a mistress that is kinky and sexy who provides all the excitement and great sex... what more can they wish for? can we blame them? Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Most don't leave because they are getting what they want from both women involved. The wife provides a few things the OW might not, and the OW may provide a few things the wife may not, and so on. I still say the OW will always play second fiddle to the MM's wife/family. Maybe some don't mind being second, I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted November 21, 2007 Author Share Posted November 21, 2007 My experience dating a MM, I find he will say he is unhappy and does not leave because of the children, money, doesn't want to hurt his family, does not want to lose his house and other possessions....I understand the Why's because it is not easy to just "walk away" it is more complicated than that. Yet I think that if someone is unhappy they need to find a way to deal with the circumstances and make a change. I think MM are too comfortable and don't want to disrupt there life when they have two woman at the same time taking care of all his needs. This is true. One of the times I tried ending it, then we saw that we weren't ready for it to end, he said "maybe I should work on my marriage instead of my problems with you." What did he choose? He chose to work on his problems with me over the problems in his marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
american-woman Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 They are fence sitters they want their cake and eat it too. Its called the FOG Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 It sure does. Mr. MP aged ten years in the last few months. He looks like hell and I just look too damn good right now:p. Good for you! High five!! P.S. I think it's sad that I know what MP stands for, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Good for you! High five!! P.S. I think it's sad that I know what MP stands for, lol. Lol, it is funny. I'm happy for you, too, BNB. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 And that they are being lead by the "little" head instead of the "big" one. I'm not even effended anymore. Maybe cause it's Thanksgiving? Have a good one everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 No, I believe that if his only reason-or the main factor in him dropping one particular OW is because she started demanding more from him, he will probably cheat again. I don't think once a cheater always a cheater, but I think it probably gets easier each time for them. This was a concern for me. I found out how easy it was to get away with things and began to dislike myself. And I began to wonder if He was learning things that he would later use with someone else. Yikes! It had to end or I would go crazy. I need to get back to my old innocence. Is that an oxymoron? Link to post Share on other sites
shadowofman Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Sorry I missed a lot. Just wanted to respond to a few things... I do not understand this at all. How could someone betray their best friend like that?? Especially men - they tend to be very loyal to their BF's. It's horrifying to think that a human being could regard someone as their best friend and then sneak behind their back and break their vows to them so deliberately. I would prefer to think that men SAY that, but they don't really MEAN it. What they really mean is, "We get along great, I have no issues with her. I'm just bored with my sex life and I want some variety." Men will betray BFFs for sex. It happens all the time, and usually the friendship withstands the betrayal. No different in the "best friend" of a life partner. And the relationship usually continues after the betrayal. One of my BFs was liking this girl, and one of my other BFs slept with her. The first BF was so angry, he didn't speak to him for a couple years actually. But they are BFs again. No bad blood. Bros before hoes, and all that! Cheating men don't leave because that wouldn't be in their best interest. especially if they love their wives, which they probably do. Cheating is a cowards way of fullfilling all your needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Real men do not betray their best friends behind their back. We may fight until we are bloody and then turn around and shake hands the next day but real men never stab a friend in the back. Real men also treat their wives the same way. I would never lay a hand on my wife but if I am unhappy with something I will tell her to her face and I let her know my terms but I will never go behind her back and betray her by cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
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