Why aren't these cheating men leaving their wives?

[shadowofman]

You mean moral men don't betray.

Never said everyone was moral.

[Woggle]

A real ma does have some morals. Betrayel is the worst sin a person can commit in my book and that is why I feel the way I feel about cheating.

[shadowofman]

Fair enough!

I have morals too, so I don't cheat. I have wanted to, but it's better to be honest. Now I tell my wife that I want to have sex with other people. And, I would rather officially break my monogamous contract with her before I chose to cheat. Is that being a real man about it?

[Gwyneth]

This is my favorite quote--I read it in a comic strip once.

 

Two wives sitting in the kitchen eating while their husbands in the living room watching what else--football:

 

"men, they can stay loyal to the same football team forever but cannot stay committed to a woman." Well, it was something like that.

 

It works both ways, men and women cheat. Men and Women get involved with a married person. Only thing is, the women get the most blame because they are considered whores or worse names when they do the same exact thing men do. That's one major issue I have a problem with. I think it's unfair.

[Gwyneth]

What does MP stand for? I'm Very out of the loop of lingos and what not, LOL. (I Know what LOL means .)

[Virgo1982]

What does MP stand for? I'm Very out of the loop of lingos and what not, LOL. (I Know what LOL means .)

 

Messy Pants. She calls her Ex Mr. Messy Pants.

[frannie]

Let's see.

 

A man cheating gets to keep everything he's worked for, financially ok, unhassly Christmases with his children, and his reputation intact, AND have someone love and want him and dote on him. I don't think it especially bothers him that these things are provided in separate locations. Men do that compartmentalising thing. For him, all his bases are covered, no need to change a thing...

[Gwyneth]

Messy Pants. She calls her Ex Mr. Messy Pants.

 

 

Ahhh, okay

 

Not all men who cheat on their spouses have it easy once the wife finds out and then the divorce proceedings begin. A lot of women sadly use the children against the husband/father, which I think is a bit unfair to the children because it's not their fault their father cheated. Some father's lose all contact with their children because of this. I have heard stories....It's very sad.

[GreenEyedLady]

There's lots of reasons...

 

Frannie gave some good ones too...

 

And there's always some BS's who like to threaten to keep the WS...I believe the term was "this could get ugly"...

 

Fear of the unknown vs. the known...

 

People have different reasons for why they do the things they do...

[White Flower]

What does MP stand for? I'm Very out of the loop of lingos and what not, LOL. (I Know what LOL means .)

Messy Pants:)

[Diz]

This is the question......

Men need to feel secure regardless in whether they are happy or not they need to know they have a home to retreat to. why do married men not leave their wifes upon starting or continuing a long time affair, all married men have diffeerent circumstances..these being family values < innner circle family values> whether there are children ......what prompted them to look for another but i feel it has allot to do with being afraid to commit, my thoughts are simply MM are married they have built up many years and solid ground you could say an investment within their marriage and are afraid of what the implications such a huge change will impact on their family, you have to remember MM all have parents and their parents values will and always have a huge impact on what their siblings do or decide, lets face it how many times have we relied on our families thoughts/feelings are on your intended - if they dont like although any good parent would not say directly any sibling would know what the general feeling is and will pick up quickly hence will work along the responce as a guidline.

Hope i havent confused you.

 

My view is of that my view and of personnal expereince, i was that other women.

[Virgo1982]

This is the question......

Men need to feel secure regardless in whether they are happy or not they need to know they have a home to retreat to. why do married men not leave their wifes upon starting or continuing a long time affair, all married men have diffeerent circumstances..these being family values < innner circle family values> whether there are children ......what prompted them to look for another but i feel it has allot to do with being afraid to commit, my thoughts are simply MM are married they have built up many years and solid ground you could say an investment within their marriage and are afraid of what the implications such a huge change will impact on their family, you have to remember MM all have parents and their parents values will and always have a huge impact on what their siblings do or decide, lets face it how many times have we relied on our families thoughts/feelings are on your intended - if they dont like although any good parent would not say directly any sibling would know what the general feeling is and will pick up quickly hence will work along the responce as a guidline.

Hope i havent confused you.

 

My view is of that my view and of personnal expereince, i was that other women.

 

When you say sibling are you referring to a child seeking advice from a parent? If so, your point is, some MM don't want to throw away what they've built/destroy their image/disappoint their parents?

[Gwyneth]

My MM's parents have no values whatsoever. He's only been with his wife and married to her for two years this month. Well, he's been with her for 29 months. They married after four months of dating.

[kyraj516]

Theres many reasons men cheat

 

Low self esteem

Because they can

Weak values

A strong desire to prove something

Being unhappy in their marriage

 

I agree...men cheat...women cheat because they are cowards and have no control. I don't go for that..."let a man be a man crap"...if you love someone then remain faithful. Of course there is temptation all around us, but you have to be secure within and set boundaries and not give temptation any lead way. Excessive flirting in the workplace, school, or where ever you spend most of your time is unexceptable. People want their cake and eat it too. He's not leaving his wife honey he's going to keep enjoying your goodies for free. I'm not married, I'm single, so don't think I'm trying to shoot you down, but you posted this because you know deep down that you deserve better. He's selfish, and why would you want someone like that in your life anyway. If he really loved you he'd let you go off to find something real. He's got it all...you, the wife & kids, and the home they've built. You're alone on the side waiting. You're his escape. A cheater will tell the cheatee anything to gain their sympathy. I'm sorry but no matter how nice he treats you or how good he does you in the bedroom...he's a dawg. Let it go and find your own man honey. You shouldn't want to share a d**k anyway, there are too many out here to not have your own. Don't become desperate by doing what you're doing. Think about that woman, his wife, who's home with THEIR children. I'm sure he's said things to you about her to make her seem unpleasant in some way shape or form. If he did leave her for you...he'd be laying up with someone else telling her about you. Don't set yourself up for unpleasantries dear. Karma is crazy. And besides...you deserve to just be someone's WOMAN not the OTHER WOMAN.

 

good luck

[Gwyneth]

And some fathers turn in their manhood cards and walk away from their children. I see it everyday. Men running behind some new coochie and they don't have the time, money or inclination to be good fathers. They see their freedom and they take it and run.

 

Oh yeah, definitely.

 

Thank god my MM has no legal ties to his wife's kid if they did divorce.

[Virgo1982]

Apparently non emotional ones either.

 

Yeah, the fact that the child lives under his roof says he is caring for him/her financially and emotionally. Who can share a home with a child and never develop a relationship with them? I get what Gwyneth is saying. At least the child does have her biological parent in her life, but I bet he/she will still have a hard time dealing with a separation/divorce.

[Gwyneth]

Sometimes I think he's in this marriage for the kid and not he wife, LOL. He calls the kid a woos / punk though--not cool. Of course the kid loves him, but I guess he feels that he's cheating on the wife, not the kid. That's the problem--cheaters don't realize they are also cheating on the kids, which is worse. Even worse when the kids are yours and not a step-child.

 

I hated my step-mother and love my step-father. Non of my friends care for their step-fathers. In fact, most people I know really didn't care for their step-parents. Some even Hate their step-parents as I hated my step-mother. This is honestly the first place I have ever come to where I heard people say they loved their step-parent. I don't think it's not a possibility, but in my world, the step-parent is not the most favorite person.

[cj1988]

You are correct they are cheating on the ENTIRE family, not just the spouse. How sad is that.....My H did not care that his son was falling apart as bad as I was during the whole mess. He not only did not care, he took up for his sister and was against us.

 

Funny how things change....the all mighty SIS is not where around now ! She calls rarely....where is their deep bond now?????? A--holes !

[Gwyneth]

Sometimes I find out he is talking to me while the kid is right there (or in another room)! I don't like that one bit, and I tell him that's not fair at all. He doesn't care, so what does that say about his feelings and attitude toward the kid?

 

He thinks his wife will move her and the son back to Central American where she's from (I'm still convinced she's married to him for the green card) if they were to separate, so I think the kid will be okay. His dad is now there after being kicked out of here for being an illegal.

 

I don't get it because I never loved my dad's wife who he divorced. When he told me they were divorcing, I was upset for my father because I saw he was upset, but inside I was cheering hip-hip-horay!!! And as I said, I don't know anyone who actually likes their step-parent other than me (I love my step-dad). Most of my friends have step-fathers and hate them! So that's great that some people have good relationships with their step-parent. Most of these friends grew up with the step-dad around too, just like this kid is with the MM I'm having affair with.