He called me - Tiwce. TRUTH OR B*LL??

[imstunned]

I hope to god I get my revenge sometime. Feeling powerless is the worst bit. I felt powerless when i was with him. Had a nightmare about all my teeth falling out.

 

At least I gave him a hard time today. I wasnt really buying his bull. At least I dont have his 2 kids and HAVE to fall for his sh*t.

 

I'd LOVE to throw him under the bus.

[Freedom Now]

You need to get your power back.

 

IGNORE HIM. People HATE to be ignored.

 

If he contacts you, IGNORE him.

 

Not only will that give you some power back but it will also keep you out of the tangled web that he may want to weave again.

 

BE STRONG.

 

FN

[norajane]

Even if he doesn't contact you, IGNORE him. Wash your hands of this dirtbag and work on sweeping him out of your mind.

[imstunned]

I told him I wouldnt contact his wife. Or tell his wife. He has no need to contact me now. BUT if he does - I'll ignore him. I have a friend who has known about this all from the start who is CONVINCED he wil be back. Scary.

[Freedom Now]

Be prepared for that. Mine came back over and over.

 

You must be prepared for that. And don't let yourself slide back into that mess.

 

You must find a way to become indifferent somehow.

 

For me, it just took time. And with time came clarity. And with clarity came indifference.

 

I wish that for you.

 

[imstunned]

Be prepared for that. Mine came back over and over.

 

You must be prepared for that. And don't let yourself slide back into that mess.

 

You must find a way to become indifferent somehow.

 

For me, it just took time. And with time came clarity. And with clarity came indifference.

 

I wish that for you.

 

 

How long before he came back? I wouldnt be prepared for it at all.

[Freedom Now]

Within a few days after D day and then every few weeks for virtually a year.

 

He flew to my state to see me (and then begged me to meet him for dinner as "friends"), begged me to travel with him, emailed me, texted me, and called me. But when I did see him, it wasn't the same. I felt NOTHING for this old looking, sad sack of a man. He evoked no emotion from me whatsoever.

 

And the last time I saw him, he shouted in the restaurant how much he loved me still and that he never will give up hope that we will be together someday.

 

But for me, with the passing of time, he had just become another man from my past. No more, no less.

 

And he will never, ever get me back.

 

To me, what we had is dead.

[imstunned]

Within a few days after D day and then every few weeks for virtually a year.

 

 

I never heard from MM again after his wife called me. I contacted him 3 weeks after by text, then 2 weeks after by a drunken text, then last night by angry text. He has responded to all contact but it has all been insigated by me. I wont hear from him again. I hope that if I EVER do I wont have a chance of a relapse.x

[Freedom Now]

But if you DO hear from him, IGNORE him.

 

If you do that, you will get back some power. And that will help you heal.

 

[imstunned]

Okay - I will. Thanks for al the replies. I'm sure that while tonight I feel angry and sure he is scum I'll wake up tomorrow tortured of the idea of him in his happy happy family. x

[Freedom Now]

That is to be expected. You are grieving.

 

You are on an emotional roller coaster ride and it is impossible to NOT feel the whole gamut of emotions.

 

You have been deeply hurt.

 

It takes time and lots of self-love.

 

Peace to you...

 

FN

[imstunned]

I woke up early - couldnt sleep as too angry. I am going to send him one last ext. I dont care if it makes me a liar. I told him I wouldnt tell his wife. I'll tell him I'm a liar too. Then he can worry about me telling his wife again. Clearly the only thing he gives a toss about.

 

I know you will all say dont do it. But I will. At some point. THEN i will leave it. Once I have worried him again. The guy makes me sick.

[Suny1]

You are driving yourself crazy aren't you? I also had this feeling that if I gave him something to worry about, he would be thinking of me. Then I decided that he probably IS thinking of me..whether it be the *good, the *bad or the *worried. Either way, it still doesn't fix anything.

Maybe if you just tryyyyyy the NC for awhile, he will wonder what you

are up to. Can you just keep telling yourself that you can't do this to YOURSELF? I know I can't really help you right now as I am going through the same stages. We are looking for a decent closure that is probably NOT going to happen. BREATHE!!!! Let's see if we can make it through this day!

[imstunned]

I did it. For the last time ever in my life I have sent a text. Difference is that this one has sent him into a spin.I have ignored his two attempts to contact me. Hope he has a great weekend.

[Suny1]

I completely understand! Everyone has to deal with the situation in their own ways, regardless of what anyone else tells you what to do.

Sometimes, you can't stop until you have done everything in your power

to make yourself feel better, whether its right or wrong.

I hope you have a terrific day!!!

~huggggsss~

[imstunned]

I completely understand! Everyone has to deal with the situation in their own ways, regardless of what anyone else tells you what to do.

Sometimes, you can't stop until you have done everything in your power

to make yourself feel better, whether its right or wrong.

I hope you have a terrific day!!!

~huggggsss~

 

Thanks. Everyone will tell me to let it lie. Move on. Let it go. And now I will.

 

He has just tried to call again. I'm never going to answer his call again. I cant tell you how good it feels to ignore him. He should have called my bluff the other day by telling me that his wife knows everything. I always knew she knows NOTHING. But he confirmed that to me. What an idiot.

[child_of_isis]

Hmmm...his weekend is probably pretty much ruined.

 

He is now preoccupied and worried.

 

He now knows, that it is you that is doing the stringing along. You have the power over HIS life...not visa versa.

 

He is probably feeling extreme panic about now.

 

W will notice and start watching his phone and phone actions most likely. She will catch a text eventually.

 

How long until he cracks under pressure I wonder?

 

I smell another d-day coming on.

I did it. For the last time ever in my life I have sent a text. Difference is that this one has sent him into a spin.I have ignored his two attempts to contact me. Hope he has a great weekend.

[imstunned]

Do you know what the best thing is.I DONT CARE. After he spent another 20 mins on the phone to me yesterday I dont care. Its weird, I thought I would care even more for him after the words he said, and I did for about 3 hours. Then I started to see just how clear his motovations were to keep me from spilling the beans.

 

I knew that when I was talking to him. But I DO feel like I'm nowe in control. Whether I am or not dosent really matter- at least I dont FEEL like he is anymore.

 

He showed me yesterday how scared he is. How desperately scared he is. If I wasnt convinced he is a serial cheater and therefore in my opinion an even greater wa*ker than a first time cheater than I wouldnt have messed with him today. But he is - he does this all the time. I wont do anything else. He can stew. Wonder how long it wil be before he wil relax?? And unless he comes and breaks my bones I dont care what he does.

[Suny1]

And everytime he calls I can see you smiling! lol!

My MM told his friend to tell me that his W had the home phone number changed. She didn't, its her business phone.The friend says everytime he calls her and she doesn't answer, he gets scared that she has talked to me. He's scared to death that I am going to call her. I can't help that it makes me feel better that it worries him. I hope he has POIFECT Holidays this year! LOL!

[Shades of Grey]

Honey if this is what it took to feel better in yourself and more in control then i'm glad!

 

You take care xx

[Freedom Now]

This is what I am talking about, imstunned.

 

Taking back your power.

 

And as long as you are in NC, you have it.

 

Dont' lose it.

 

I'm happy for you.

 

[Freedom Now]

This is what I am talking about, imstunned.

 

Taking back your power.

 

And as long as you are in NC, you have it.

 

Dont' lose it.

 

I'm happy for you.

 

[Freedom Now]

This is what I am talking about, imstunned.

 

Taking back your power.

 

And as long as you are in NC, you have it.

 

Dont' lose it.

 

I'm happy for you.

 

[Freedom Now]

Sorry about the triple post....

 

Dumb computer.

[imstunned]

Its been a funny day. I have been on edge - and he has tried to call 5 times and texted me twice. I have ignored them all.

 

I feel better, but then feel a bit bad, and a bit aprehensive of what he may do. I may go up and down a bit in the next few days, and hope I'll be toelrated if I post here. I did what I felt was right for me to do as I am fed up being lied to. he will have a rotten weekend worrying, just like all the weekends and weeks I spent worrying about him dying up a mountain.

 

If he had called me 6 weeks ago it would have been different - I would have believed his motivation to call me was because he was truly sorry. But its as clear as day he is simply terrified I'll tell the wife. I would really like to know how a relationship can survive what he has done when his wife dosent know the truth. I thought relationships could only survive infidelity with 100% honesty?