should i butt in to her affairs?

[zingy]

my daughter (21) has this loser guy that keeps coming over to her house even though she has told him repeatedly not to!

still this jerk does not listen, does not stop and when he is there he takes her cell phone and brings it back when he feels like it.

 

this guy is a first class jerk, no job, no car, no money, i don't know what he does, or how he lives, or how he gets around, but he manages to get over to her house alot!

 

well i told her to call the cops to get him out, but she did not want to drag it that far. so today i called her at home and this idiot answered her phone and i went off on him!

 

he told me that my daughter (sarah) picked him up last night, and i called sarah and chewed her out for complaining about this guy then picking him up again!

 

she told me he was lying that she did not pick him up and she was leaving and he showed up at her house and she told him to leave.

 

well she had left the back door unlocked and he went on in and answered her phone and made himeself quite at home, obviously.

 

i told her that and she was very mad! all weekend she stayed away from her home to avoid him then he showed up anyway just when she was leaving..

 

she is having a friend (guy) go over there with her in hopes of intimidating him to stay away but he has friends who also live int he building so he will go over there but he does not need to be at her house but i think he is in love with her or something.

 

anyway i tried to talk her into calling the cops but she got totally panicky about the thought of it. i think she may be afraid to do so but i am not but i do not have to live there.

 

so what do you think, do you think it would be wrong for me to call the cops on him?

 

i'm sorta scared to do so because i do not want to put her in any jepordy, real or imagined because i do not know if he would harm her or not.

 

so please tell me what do you think a good way to handle this could be?

 

i think i should butt out because maybe i do not know the full story but from i do know she does not want him there and yet he keeps showing up, so now she has to leave her own home to avoid this jerk.

 

thoughts please?

[Just A Girl2]

Your daughter is a grown adult woman. If she can't learn to fend for herself without her mother getting involved, she needs to learn.

 

What kind of woman leaves the door to her apartment unlocked? Not very bright.

 

The whole thing sounds fishy to me. I don't buy for one minute that she left her apartment door unlocked, he got in there when she wasn't home and made himself at home all weekend and she stayed away from her own apartment as a way of avoiding him. Sounds like she's feeding you a line of bull.

 

No, you should not call the cops. This is none of your business. The cops wouldn't do anything anyway......they don't have time to go around investigating claims made by meddling mothers. If your daughter doesn't like him coming around, she could start by grabbing a clue and locking her door...though again I'm thinking she's making a lot of this up because she knows you don't like him and she doesn't want you to know he's spending time with her.

 

I say worry about your own problems in your own life.

 

PS....you mentioned that this guy has friends who live in the same building as her...which would lead me to believe she lives in an apartment. But you also said she'd left her back door unlocked. I've never heard of apartments having backdoors to them..usually just a front door that leads to a common hallway and maybe patio doors that lead to a deck/balcony.