3rdI Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 I think about it and even called up and old BF but felt like a low-down-dirty-dog. Will it even up the score or just make me a nasty person? Anyone ever do it and then regret it? Let's discuss. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Two wrongs do not make a right. Don't do the revenge cheat. If your partner has cheated on you, dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Don't stoop to the level of a cheater. Either forgive and remain in the relationship or walk away with your integrity intact. Overall, cheating is for cowards. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 I think about it and even called up and old BF but felt like a low-down-dirty-dog. Will it even up the score or just make me a nasty person? Anyone ever do it and then regret it? Let's discuss. If I planned to stay in the relationship, I would not revenge cheat. I have some friends that looked at a GF's infidelity as a get laid free card. She cheated on a trip to Puerto Rico. He found out, and began blatantly cheating... at least 6 different times that I know of, and she put up with it out of guilt. He eventually dumped her. Why? Because the revenge never satisfied what he needed. If you truely just desire revenge, leave, and do not settle for someone who does not love you! Happiness is a revenge most satisfying. I am ashamed to admit that it is in the leaving stage that I know I would fail to be the better person. I can say that because I've come to terms with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 3rdI Posted November 21, 2007 Author Share Posted November 21, 2007 Fantasy is much better than reality. I know that I feel crappy just considering it and it would be out of my norm...... But I fantasize about cheating and letting him know that it was with a guy that is smarter, taller, larger "d", deeper pockets, brighter teeth, higher IQ.......oooo I am bitter LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 I'll expand on why I think cheating is for cowards. People cheat for a number of reasons but the net effect is that they can retain their partner/lifestyle/children, etc., while indulging for whatever reason, whether it be impulse control issues or pure selfishness. It can also be an act of revenge, in that one partner is angry at another partner. Instead of cheating, someone who's not afraid of life, will address the issue(s) and if the other partner can't meet those expectations, take the high road and walk away in an adult fashion, especially if their are children involved. There's no such thing as "she/he left me no choice so I had to cheat". You own your life and make your own choices. Hopefully those choices will take into consideration, the people affected by your choices. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 I believe that is why my H can justify cheating in his brain, because when were seperated I had fun......5 years ago. So, no it is not a good idea, because we are now about to divorce ! I thought about f----- the H of the OW, but I am not going to lower myself to his pathetic level 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 3rdI Posted November 21, 2007 Author Share Posted November 21, 2007 I have talked with him and we are working on the issues. But in the back of my mind I want to be petty. I want to even up the score. I feel like I was tricked, hoodwinked, bamboozeled, sold a bill of goods, misdirected And my very nasty response at this stage is to give him a dose of his own medicine...a little "two can play that game" I do not want to be that person. I will not lower my standards....but I am at risk right now and I ADMIT that I think about "just once" giving him a taste of his own medicine. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 especially if their are children involved Aaaahhhhh, I've done the unforgiveable. I've never done this before. I'm so sorry. Please don't cheat on me. It should read "especially if there are children involved". Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Hell, I think about it all the time and even have a few picked out, but I will not do it to ME ! F---- him he has to live with his s---- that is enough for me ! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 I have talked with him and we are working on the issues. But in the back of my mind I want to be petty. I want to even up the score. I feel like I was tricked, hoodwinked, bamboozeled, sold a bill of goods, misdirected And my very nasty response at this stage is to give him a dose of his own medicine...a little "two can play that game" I do not want to be that person. I will not lower my standards....but I am at risk right now and I ADMIT that I think about "just once" giving him a taste of his own medicine. There are other ways to get what you need from someone who has cheated on you. Revenge cheating makes no sense to me, what-so-ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 3rdI Posted November 21, 2007 Author Share Posted November 21, 2007 Two wrongs do not make it right AND it does not make it even. Thank God that LS is here. I go to my first IC appointment the first week of December....I might have done "something else"or something stupid in between then...you guys keep it real and I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 ...I am at risk right now and I ADMIT that I think about "just once" giving him a taste of his own medicine. Realize, though, that along with giving him that taste of the medicine, you will be the one suffering from most of the side effects, and I think you realize this when you say: I do not want to be that person. I will not lower my standards.... I think the price you pay for extracting that bit of revenge - in terms of your image of yourself - would be high. You've already taken one big hit from him. You would end up feeling like you have taken another - this one from yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 I should clarify something. I'm not adverse to revenge, just to the concept of revenge cheating. If you decide on getting your own back, make certain it's something you can live with, within yourself. Do it with no remorse or you will only be hurting yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 ive thought about it myself. sometimes I try to persuade my self that I just want some kind of male companion to tell me everything that my boyfriend doesnt say! But ultimately I know what will end up happening. I wouldnt do it to even the score. i dont know about you but I would feel guilty. You can never un-do what has been done. So, my answer is No!! revenge sex is not an option Link to post Share on other sites
burningman Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 My w/s is actually is hoping I will revenge cheat. She's admitted that she thinks this will relieve some her of some her guilt, and she thinks she deserves it. I will NEVER do her that favor! Plus, one of the few things I am holding onto right now is my integrity. But don't think I haven't considered it. Link to post Share on other sites
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