Rowen Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I would appreciate feedback. I still love this girl. Crtitique this please... I need to know if this is too negative.. should it be more positive stuff etc. Would like a girls point of view as well. he story is.. yes I would like her back, but I am starting to accept that she may not come back. It's been two months exactly now since she broke it off. I just edited it a bit last night... here is the "new" letter. I felt the need to write this letter becuase for one; over the past couple months of minimal to no contact I have been able to dig deep into myself and take a wide look at our past relationship and the valuable lessons and tools I have learned. One of the biggest issues I have realized in our past relationship was direct and proper communication with respect to the arguments and insecurities we had. We didn't read it each other correctly and I absolutely understand that I missed the signs you gave me. There were mis-interpreted signals. As you know in mid august I began to drink a lot more than usual. I know this hurt you when you started to notice my breathe on occasions, and I denied how much I was drinking. The nervous energy and fear of school looming was why I started to drink more. It had nothing to do with you and I didn't communicate that to you becuase I was embarrassed… of what I was doing in my life and what I could do. That wasn't fair to either of us. As a couple I don’t think we set enough time to talk to each other fairly and without bias on ways to communicate better with each other on certain issues, whatever they were at the time. I didn’t actively listen effectively and I missed certain signals. We were both getting scared of what was happening and we didn’t address the root of the issue because of that fear. Subconciously I denied these issues. There was no excuse for my behaviour and I hurt you. . I should have known better and I now completely understand your frusteration , fear and initiation of the breakup. The key I believe is to take things slower, to stop before over analyzing and really take a step back. To think, to process and to understand our feelings for each other, and what we want to communicate and how we can communicate this in a more effective manner. The talks we had in the car, I was scared, scared of losing the most important person in my life, and I froze. I didn’t know what to do or how to do it, or what to say. I didn’t communicate to you my intention to fix the problems. I had never been in that situation before and I had so many emotions and confused thoughts that came to fruition. Everything flew so fast at us, from the jubilation and rejuvenation we had after I got back from las vegas. It came so fast, and before I knew it, I had lost you in the blink of an eye. You were always open and willing to talk about things from the past and present you were not happy or proud about and that is where I should have reciprocated. I denied my drinking, our arguments and denied both of us the respect we both deserve. Fortunately I have moved past my regret and focused on continuing to improve and heal myself. You’re an incredibly special and important person in my life. I’m glad the lines of communication between us have opened a bit and have been positive. One thing is for sure, I love talking with you always and I am determined to continue to create a positive line of communication with you and want to build that trust we had in each other again. I do not believe what we had was a fluke. I believe there is a true and passionate connection between us. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 If she broke it off, don't send it. Take it out and burn it and allow it to be therapeutic, but don't send it. She knows you love her. That's all you need to say, and I imagine you've already said it. Link to post Share on other sites
pantheralum93 Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Hi Rowen. Happy Thanksgiving man. Very good letter. You say many things in that I wish I had written to my ex. To be honest, I have to agree with Sedgwick. If you send it and she doesn't respond it will only hurt you more. Believe me, I know because I sent the letter and my ex didn't respond. She didn't respond to any of my attempts to communicate to her (until she accused me of being behind something I did not do). Let her come to you man and if she does then say what you have to say. Save your dignity, protect your heart. Trust me on this. I'm still hurting and it's been 5 months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 Hi Rowen. Happy Thanksgiving man. Very good letter. You say many things in that I wish I had written to my ex. To be honest, I have to agree with Sedgwick. If you send it and she doesn't respond it will only hurt you more. Believe me, I know because I sent the letter and my ex didn't respond. She didn't respond to any of my attempts to communicate to her (until she accused me of being behind something I did not do). Let her come to you man and if she does then say what you have to say. Save your dignity, protect your heart. Trust me on this. I'm still hurting and it's been 5 months. Luckily I didn't sent it beucsae I found out she moved in with another guy. I forced it out of her finally. She dumped me for him, liked him more than me and pushed my buttons to give her a reason to break up with me. Link to post Share on other sites
bustertypsy Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 DO NOT SEND IT!!!! I completely agree with the two above posts.She knows you love her.If she wants you,she will come looking for you........guaranteed!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 DO NOT SEND IT!!!! I completely agree with the two above posts.She knows you love her.If she wants you,she will come looking for you........guaranteed!!! I agree with you guys now. I just found out shes living with a new guy.. and im 99 percent sure she dumped me for him anyway. Il probbaly never take her back once she screws this relationship up. Link to post Share on other sites
bustertypsy Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Rowen,in my experience she will mess up this relationship she has just entered.One day she will realise all she has done and it will haunt her. By that stage,hopefully you will be well and truly healed. Don't yearn for her anymore,just feel sorry for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 Rowen,in my experience she will mess up this relationship she has just entered.One day she will realise all she has done and it will haunt her. By that stage,hopefully you will be well and truly healed. Don't yearn for her anymore,just feel sorry for her. Shes like john kerry. 1.I helped her find a new job 2.She quit it two weeks later 3.She wanted to become a doctor 4.Two weeks later she says no.. im gonna become a teacher 5.Dumped me 6.Took me back 7.Dumped me again 8. Said we cant talk 9.Continued to talk 10.Went back to her old job 11.Quit it again 12.Moved out 13.Moved halfwya back in with her mom/new bf back first when we went out.. she told me "please dont hurt me, ive been hurt too many times" Yeah I wonder why you'e been hurt, all you do is hurt your partner! Link to post Share on other sites
thelegend Posted November 24, 2007 Share Posted November 24, 2007 Brother Rowen i figured it was another guy that's what suggested to you in another thread. It's a messed up thing i know. If you need any reassurance that she will be back my ex that left me for another guy called me Tuesday saying how unhappy she is with him. And that she is leaving him. Guess who she wants back? But there is no worse betrayal than to leave the man that would die for you for a jerk that's as dirty as they come. So be prepared this won't last 2 months and she'll be back to you Link to post Share on other sites
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