ToriJ Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Ive posted here a few times. Basically, me and my boyfriend of two years broke up last december. We had a stupid row that got out of control and out of stubborness we broke up. I can be a very emotionless person, which i do not like about myself and he is a very emotional person. So i did not pick up the phone and try and contact him when we had broken up, even tho i knew his granny was dying and he was going through a very emotional time in his life. I wasnt there for him. While it was off with us he kissed a few girls in nightclubs at weekend while he was out and got their numbers. I hadnt been with anyone but he heard stories and taught i was. Anyway we got back together in March without really confronting our problems. He stayed in contact with two of the girls and also kissed two girls while he was out with the lads at the wkends. I found out at the start of May and ended it. Ive always been the type of person that doesnt tolerate cheating. I just think is one of the most hurtful things you can do to someone you love. I didnt dwell on what had happened. I got out there and started to move on and enjoy myself. Yes a big part of my life was missing but i knew it was for the best. Fast forward to now, six months on and were back in contact. He has shown sincere remorse over this past few months. He says he has realised what he has done and it would never happen again. I seen the bad times he went through over this. The guilt it caused him and he's very ashamed of himself for letting me, his family and my family down. He knows he could never do that again because of how it has affected him. He wants me to think about trying again, not now but maybe next year or when i feel comfortable. He says he's not going anywhere, he's gonna prove to me that he's here to stay and he know's that could take years but im the one for him and he doesnt care how long it takes. Im having a lot of trouble with this because i do still have feelings for him but im afraid to let my guard down with him. Noting can happen with us until at least april 2008 as he's going away to college from jan to april but he wants to keep in contact and try and rebuild my trust in him during it and after. I should mention he's 22 and im 24. I just want an outside opinion. Would i be a fool to give him a chance. Am i better just letting it burn and wait for someone new?? Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Ive posted here a few times. Basically, me and my boyfriend of two years broke up last december. We had a stupid row that got out of control and out of stubborness we broke up. I can be a very emotionless person, which i do not like about myself and he is a very emotional person. So i did not pick up the phone and try and contact him when we had broken up, even tho i knew his granny was dying and he was going through a very emotional time in his life. I wasnt there for him. While it was off with us he kissed a few girls in nightclubs at weekend while he was out and got their numbers. I hadnt been with anyone but he heard stories and taught i was. Anyway we got back together in March without really confronting our problems. He stayed in contact with two of the girls and also kissed two girls while he was out with the lads at the wkends. I found out at the start of May and ended it. Good...keep it ended. He is a cheater....he doesn't deserve a second chance. Let the other two girls have him....he can be their problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ToriJ Posted November 22, 2007 Author Share Posted November 22, 2007 So do you think once a cheater, always a cheater? Im confused about this because some people say cheaters can change if they really want to and others say they'll always cheat. I was in a relationship for 4 years before this one and i cheated a lot on him. But i would never cheat in this relationship so i suppose that proves that people can change. I think the main thing that changed about me was i grew up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ToriJ Posted November 22, 2007 Author Share Posted November 22, 2007 Anyone else have any other input??? I could really do with some advice! Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 No cheater "deserves" a second chance. If you decide to give him a second chance it's your decision alone. That's a heck of a responsibility to take on. Personally, I don't believe I could ever trust or even be around another person who cheated on me. But I'm an old guy, a long marriage and kids aren't in my future, those times have come and gone. I won't have the same kind of investment a younger person might have. Link to post Share on other sites
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