Did I wait too long???

[sobechill]

I've been seeing this woman for a few months now. We were just friends, but there was an obvious chemistry between us. We've become closer and she has given me many clues and subtle hints for me to make a move to take it to the next level. Unfortunatley I did not because I felt the circumstances at the time were not right, although I was crazy about her. Well now the circumstances are right, and I was ready to make my move. However, before I could make the move she informed me that she's been seeing someone for a month! What the F**K?!!!

 

Did I wait too long? Was she tired of waiting for me to make a move? What can I do now? She says she's not serious with this guy, but I'm not sure if she's just saying that to make me feel better. Advice please!

[Tony T]

YOU ASK:

 

1. "Did I wait too long?"

 

You obviously did, this time anyway. But not to worry. Either she will become available later or, better yet, you will have the wisdom to search out someone you enjoy being with just as much or better. That's what you ought to do anyway. Don't wait around for her.

 

2. "Was she tired of waiting for me to make a move?"

 

I'm quite sure. But you weren't ready to do that. Many people don't get motivated until the person turns their attention elsewhere. Love is more about timing than just about anything else. If you don't take advantage of a window of opportunity, sometimes it can be shut forevermore. Let's hope you get another chance with this one. Let's hope even more that you find a greater love in another place and your timing is a lot better.

 

3. "What can I do now? She says she's not serious with this guy, but I'm not sure if she's just saying that to make me feel better."

 

I've already told you what to do. Don't beat your head against a wall because you screwed up. Just learn from this. I can think back personally on dozens of missed opportunities. But those are lessons for me NOT to miss opportunities that will come my way in the future.

 

Some women get pretty irritated when they keep hinting and hinting and the guy doesn't take the bait. She probably thought YOU weren't interested. She did the right thing by moving on. Now you have to do the right thing by looking out for yourself as well.

 

In the future, MAKE YOUR MOVE when the opportunity presents itself!!!

[flower]

My view:

 

1) Did I wait too long?

 

In my experience, YES, you had waited too long. The window of opportunity is open only for a short while - think because it's pride holding ladies back from opening it too long to protect from being hurt. If there is more than 1 choice, naturally, it is easier to choose the other one who is more loving.

 

2) Tired of waiting for me?

 

Yes, she is tired of waiting for you.

 

3) What to do?

 

Ask yourself truthfully - do you really love her or is it because you do not want to lose out to the other guy? Go on and date other girls as she is already taken.

 

4) Say not serious about the other guy

 

OK. She may say she's not serious but she is with the other guy. It is so unfair to the other man even if she drops him for you, isn't it? What if you change your feelings later if she does so? You are putting her in difficult shoes too. I can relate to this situation very well 'cos I was ever in her position. It is not an enviable place to be!

[rintrah]

You definately waited too long. However, all is not lost.

 

Continue with your life, and continue to nurture your friendship with this person - one month is nothing, and you'd hate to give up on a second chance by cutting off all contact.