Is this obsessive compulsive?

[Lady Guest]

I stayed over at my new boyfriends place a few times, but this last time he did a few strange things.

 

I was talking on the phone and apparently scratched the sole of my foot once. He later told me to wash my hands because I had touched the sole of my foot which was clean because I had had a bath in the morning.

He told me he washes his hands all the time even after eating because he doesn't like to get marks or grease on the walls. His fingers are chapped and dried out with cuts, I think because he washes his hands too much!

Then later he wanted to rest in bed and said he was going to take a shower. He already took one in the morning. He told me I also had to take a shower if I wanted to be in bed with him. I got mad and told him I had already taken a bath in the morning, and he said, "but you still went to the bathroom in between and it will smell."

I got really mad and remineded him of a time about a month ago when we were first getting intimate that I had been lying in his bed fully clothed and he wanted to do it and I had offered to wash up, but he couldn't wait and just did it on the spot. I said, "You should have asked me then! Why didn't you?"

 

In the end I just washed a bit, but didn't take a full blown shower.

Is there something wrong with this guy or is this normal?? Is he obsessive compulsive?

[Tony T]

YOU ASK:

 

1. "Is there something wrong with this guy or is this normal??"

 

It's normal for him, apparently.

 

2. "Is he obsessive compulsive?"

 

Making this diagnosis would require that he be interviewed by a competent psychotherapist. It's very possible he has those tendencies but there could be other problems as well. OCD comes in varying degress and, if he actually has it, it would have to be evaluated thoroughly to see just how progressed it is.

 

Taking into consideration the problems the two of you are having with sex, I would say there could be a connection. You might want to get him to see a therapist before you take this relationship any longer.

 

Your willingness to depart from the relationship due to the bad sex indicates you do not yet have a close emotional bond with him. Before that happens, get him checked out and see if he can improve. At his age, I would think he may need medication. Changing on his own may not happen.

[Just A Girl2]

Originally posted by Tony

Your willingness to depart from the relationship due to the bad sex indicates you do not yet have a close emotional bond with him.

 

I must have missed it, but I didn't read anything in her post that indicated even remotely that she was "willing to depart" from the relationship due to bad sex. All I got from her post was her wondering if his behavior was normal, and if it could be OCD. Didn't sound like she's talking about ending things with him, just looking for info.

[Lady Guest]

I posted something else under Sex/Health which Tony read. If you read it you will understand

[Lady Guest]

He told me that he never gets insulted because he has so much self confidence, is successful with his company, and that "people are chasing him all the time" because of his success. He went on to talk about how his daughter takes after him because she is very decisive and knows what she wants in life.

 

He told me he didn't want to talk about my problems or issues because he was tired of it and didn't want to be a part of it. He said I was looking for a "companion to share my depression" and that he only wanted to be around happy people.

 

I told him I just wanted someone who would listen to me, and he said something like, "Why don't you do something, talk about something else, read a book, watch TV," as if to say that I was too self-absorbed.

I noticed in his house that he doesn't even have ONE book!! So who is he to tell me about reading books? Is he arrogant? or is it ME?