Cheater parading you in front of lover

[Rooster_DAR]

Something I noticed about female cheaters, at least for me and some of the recent posts I've read.

 

 

It seems that many times the female cheater brings their partner into contact with their lover, for whatever reason. My last wife and my ex fiancé both did this same thing, the made sure I actually had contact with their affair partner and in one case actually formally introduced us while the affair was happening. I didn't find out of course until later it was the guy, but when I found out it was someone she introduced me to it humiliated me beyond explanation.

 

I remember my ex fiancé actually mentioning her co-workers name and stating they went to a basketball game together while they were working out of town. I remember her mentioning his name several times afterwards in general conversation, which was the beginning of my suspicions about her.

 

So, I'm leaning to believe that many times a female cheater will actually expose their lover in some fashion whether it's subconsciously or on purpose.

 

Can anyone one else agree that this is a plausible observance?

 

Regards,

[Pyro]

Hasn't happened to me personally. My ex did what she could to hide the guys existence from me.

 

Perhaps its some cheap thrill for some individuals to do something like that.

[Woggle]

God I hate women like this. She is getting off on making you jealous. Some women like the drama or for some reason she hates you and wants to parade this great new guy in front of you in order to get back for whatever perceived wrong on your part. Do not even try to make sense out of it or understand the logic because there is none.

[Trialbyfire]

Sometimes people cheat to get back at their partners. This is what it sounds like to me, in your situation.

[Pyro]

Sometimes people cheat to get back at their partners. This is what it sounds like to me, in your situation.

 

If this is the case, then good riddance for you RD. Them becoming your ex's is the best thing that happened to you.

[Trialbyfire]

If this is the case, then good riddance for you RD. Them becoming your ex's is the best thing that happened to you.

If RD's exes are passive-aggressives, I'm guessing it's even more than likely.

[Pyro]

If RD's exes are passive-aggressives, I'm guessing it's even more than likely.

 

Agreed, but theres only one person here who can confirm that.

[Trialbyfire]

Agreed, but theres only one person here who can confirm that.

Agreed. Perhaps something that RD should think about and be aware of, in his current g/f and possible future relationships.

[Pyro]

Agreed. Perhaps something that RD should think about and be aware of, in his current g/f and possible future relationships.

 

I like the way you think.

[Trialbyfire]

I like the way you think.

Thank-you but this time, I think you led me there.

[Pyro]

Thank-you but this time, I think you led me there.

 

Aw shucks. Yes I guess I did.

 

Its a nice break from the opposite.

[Trialbyfire]

Aw shucks. Yes I guess I did.

 

Its a nice break from the opposite.

You're a sweetheart. Flattery will get you everywhere.

[Pyro]

You're a sweetheart. Flattery will get you everywhere.

 

But of course. Why do you think I said anything to begin with?

[Trialbyfire]

But of course. Why do you think I said anything to begin with?

:lmao:

[allina]

I have no clue why people do it, maybe it makes them feel like they're getting away with something in plain sight?

 

I talked about my ex best friend on here before, the one I stopped being friends with because she was a huge slut that cheated on her bf of 5 years regularly. She did this a lot

[LucreziaBorgia]

Part of it is the idea that they think if they bring the guy around you and bring him up as a 'friend', you are less likely to think something is going on since they aren't trying to 'hide' anything.

[littlekitty]

Seems to me that both suggestions so far seem plausible. Which do you think fits your scenario RD?

[reservoirdog1]

I have no idea how common it is, but it did happen to me. Two of XW's cheating partners were guys I knew. Neither was a close friend, but both were part of our circle. There was never any secret about who she was with, who she was visiting, who she was meeting for coffee, etc. The only secret was that she was fycking them too. The first was during the engagement, the second was in the first couple of months of the marriage. I knew about none of the cheating until after 7 years of marriage.

 

One incident stands out in my mind. One involved us having dinner, at our home, with the OM at the time and my sister. This was a few months after the wedding. XW's stated goal (probably true) was to try to "set up" my sister and her OM. I don't know if she was still fycking him at that point or not. Her intention could have been to put him at arms' length from herself so she wouldn't feel tempted. Fortunately, my sister almost immediately concluded the OM was a creep and wanted nothing to do with him.

 

I think the reason she did this was so that it wouldn't occur to me to be suspicious. And it worked, too.

 

I'm very glad to not be with her anymore... she was collossally fycked up, though that seems to have improved somewhat. Oddly enough, in the last year or so my anger's basically disappeared. I'm able to be civil to her, even friendly, but I don't socialize with her in any way that doesn't involve the kids.

[Mustang Sally]

Rooster -

I think this probably happens fairly often, with women cheaters, at least. Just my hunch/opinion. No idea if men do this also. ???

 

As asked above, why do you think this was, in your situation?

For jealousy-inducing purposes?

Or to make the lover less suspicious?

[Rooster_DAR]

Seems to me that both suggestions so far seem plausible. Which do you think fits your scenario RD?

 

 

I'm still not sure, reflecting back it all seems so immature and it's humiliating to me. Sometimes I really would like to understand this behavior, but just as woggle said good thing these women are exes. I remember when my last wife cheated a year after we were married, I came home and there was a rose on the table. I asked where it came from and she said from a friend. Come to find out a day later she admitted it was a guy she just cheated with (Why parade the rose for me?). My recent ex fiance put me on the phone with a guy she worked out of town with while she was in Florida, saying she wanted to me this co-worker. Although she initially said it was another co-worker, I now feel like it's the guy she got involved with.

 

Very strange, maybe they were trying to get me to fight for them or something twisted like that.

 

Thanks for reply,

[Rooster_DAR]

Sometimes people cheat to get back at their partners. This is what it sounds like to me, in your situation.

 

I can't imagine where she would want to get back at me for anything, I never did anything that I"m aware of to set her up for that scenario. I treated her like a princess, and did everything I should have around the house. I do recall her stating I"m very unromantic a few times, as well as too sensitive. Maybe I was just a big pu**sy in the relationship and I got what I needed to man up, who knows.

 

Thanks,

[Trialbyfire]

I can't imagine where she would want to get back at me for anything, I never did anything that I"m aware of to set her up for that scenario. I treated her like a princess, and did everything I should have around the house. I do recall her stating I"m very unromantic a few times, as well as too sensitive. Maybe I was just a big pu**sy in the relationship and I got what I needed to man up, who knows.

 

Thanks,

There's plenty of times where people are unable to express their reasons for holding resentment against someone else, real or perceived. Sometimes they don't even know why themselves.

 

Sounds like you need a communicator. Hope you've found this person and if not, look for someone who is capable of expressing and understanding themselves.

[Rooster_DAR]

There's plenty of times where people are unable to express their reasons for holding resentment against someone else, real or perceived. Sometimes they don't even know why themselves.

 

Sounds like you need a communicator. Hope you've found this person and if not, look for someone who is capable of expressing and understanding themselves.

 

Very true, I do know that when we got into fights we would go on for days without speaking 2 each other, a sign of very poor communication problem. As a matter of fact, I believe many of the arguments were never really settled in a mature manner.

 

Thanks,

[Letranger]

I know I'm late to the thread, but it makes perfect sense to try to legitimize the person you are cheating with to the world. Who wants to answer questions otherwise? that way, is someone says 'i saw your wife with this guy...' you think its A-OK.

[Rooster_DAR]

I know I'm late to the thread, but it makes perfect sense to try to legitimize the person you are cheating with to the world. Who wants to answer questions otherwise? that way, is someone says 'i saw your wife with this guy...' you think its A-OK.

 

Good point, that is another good possibility.