Battle of Wills!!!!!

[LucyMarie]

I met my kindred soul over cam on the internet. When I first saw him, it was like finding a long lost love. Problem, him being from Holland. Me being from the USA. Him being divorced with 2 girls, me being divorced with no children. Well after 6 months of once a month visits to and from respective countries, we took the big plunge. He moved to the USA for good on December 31, 1999. We celebrated the new century together and set up home and literally started from scratch. Here is the problem. Two different cultures, two strong personalities, two pasts and two lives learning to co-habit together. We are having a really tough time. I always feel like I pulled him away from his family. I am always worried that he is not happy. He feels I need to have everything my way. I know he is not use to an Independent American woman. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells alot of the time. That I will say something wrong and he'll take it the wrong way, or I am coming on too strong and he gets an attitude because he says I am too bossy and noone tells him what to do. I feel I can't win and both of us are devastated when we have an argument. But I am afraid to say anything anymore because he tells me I DON'T LISTEN!!!! But I feel I do....Help...How do we co-habit with a happy medium? The love is there, thats not the problem. He is very dependent on me right now until he gets use to the US and the business culture. I hooked up an international line for him, cable for a computer, a car to use during the day and opened my life as far as friends and family to him. I don't know what more I can do.....Regards

[Annie]

Cultural differences are difficult - and from what I know of the Dutch way of life the men are quite assertive. Maybe get some counselling? I think living with someone after a 'net' relationship must be hard- I guess on the visits back and forth did help with setting up the relationship - but it must be scary for him coming on over to you and leaving his family behind. Where R his kids? Did they come too? He must be missing them a lot - maybe he is just freaked out at being so far from all that is familiar and it is starting to tell on your relationship.

 

Good luck

I met my kindred soul over cam on the internet. When I first saw him, it was like finding a long lost love. Problem, him being from Holland. Me being from the USA. Him being divorced with 2 girls, me being divorced with no children. Well after 6 months of once a month visits to and from respective countries, we took the big plunge. He moved to the USA for good on December 31, 1999. We celebrated the new century together and set up home and literally started from scratch. Here is the problem. Two different cultures, two strong personalities, two pasts and two lives learning to co-habit together. We are having a really tough time. I always feel like I pulled him away from his family. I am always worried that he is not happy. He feels I need to have everything my way. I know he is not use to an Independent American woman. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells alot of the time. That I will say something wrong and he'll take it the wrong way, or I am coming on too strong and he gets an attitude because he says I am too bossy and noone tells him what to do. I feel I can't win and both of us are devastated when we have an argument. But I am afraid to say anything anymore because he tells me I DON'T LISTEN!!!! But I feel I do....Help...How do we co-habit with a happy medium? The love is there, thats not the problem. He is very dependent on me right now until he gets use to the US and the business culture. I hooked up an international line for him, cable for a computer, a car to use during the day and opened my life as far as friends and family to him. I don't know what more I can do.....Regards