armywife915 Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 As you can tell I am an army wife. Kind of. My H is in the army reserves and he is being deployed to Iraq. He will be gone December 3rd and will be state side but will be in Iraq by March. I still won't be able to see him when he is state side. He will be gone for a total of 429 days. The hardest part for me will not being able to say I miss you all the time because I have to be "strong army wife" for my H. I am a very emotionally open person so it's going to be hard. Just wondering if anyone on here has dealt with deployment, or is dealing now, and if you can give me any advice on how to survive. We have no children so that won't keep me occupied. My workplace is basically his family so I can't get away from it. And I only really rely on one girlfriend because all of my other friends have screwed me over somehow. And my parents are dealing with their own drama. Any advice would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 oh honey, you've got us here *hugs* my nephew (also Army) leaves sometime next week for Iraq, but all he could tell the family was "Keep calling my cell until you find out it's been disconnected." And the uncertainty is a hard thing to deal with, because once he leaves, he'll be there 15 months and we have no idea how often he'll be allowed to communicate once he arrives there, or how soon we'll even hear from him when he gets there. are you on or near base? Is there a community of families in your situation that you can join so that you've got a strong support system? Ask them about how to handle the "I miss you" issue – lots of letters/emails, and possibly telling him "I think about you often" could be one way of letting him know without necessarily using the words "I miss you" too often ... do you belong to a church or school community that might also give you emotional and spiritual support throughout all of this? That might also give you an avenue for a project supporting the troops – and help you feel like you're doing something active/positive while he's working away from home. in the meantime, just keep in touch with us on this forum – LoveShack is an amazing community in that posters give of themselves wholeheartedly even though they don't know you in real life. hugs, quank Link to post Share on other sites
Author armywife915 Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 Thank you so much. That's the tough part...I don't live near an army base or know any other army wives or husbands. I am really glad I found this site though. I think venting on here will help me a lot. I don't go to church, I lost someone very close to me and kind of lost faith. I think I might volunteer to babysit in town because I love kids and worked at 2 day cares so I have plenty of experience. Tell your nephew I wish him luck and to keep his head down. Link to post Share on other sites
laura1968 Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Hi - my husband isn't fighting in Iraq, but he is away from home for long periods of time for work that is dangerous so I know how you feel. I keep myself busy with an exercise group with women that wrestle and grapple for fun and exercise. The attached thread is asking how women feel about this kind of activity, as my husband isn't so keen about me doing it. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t136677/ Our group is getting more popular and I thought your post might be relevant because the past three women to join our group are army wives. So maybe do something like this. Join a fitness group or something to keep yourself occupied emotionally and physically. Let me know how it works out... Link to post Share on other sites
Author armywife915 Posted November 24, 2007 Author Share Posted November 24, 2007 That is so funny because I was thinking about starting to work out. I figured if I spent the money for a membership I would definitely go. Thanks so much for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
ARDriver01 Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 I think a work out group is a really good idea. Maybe you could go to school or learn a new trade. Take really good care of yourself and safeguard your marriage. Church is also a great way to deal with being lonley. Don't hang out with other guys, not that you would anyway. Some people think it's okay, but it isn't. It will make your husband happy. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 My heart is going out to you! My boyfriend's son is in Iraq now. His wife and daughter (boyfriend's daughter in law and granddaughter) were just here for thanksgiving. Of course it depends where he will be and what his living conditions will be - but in our case the very best thing we did was buy him a laptop. He and his wife chat daily, and each has a web cam, so they get to see eachother AND his daughter gets to see him! She is almost 1 year old, so it's important to see Daddy. There are public use computers and phones, but the lines are terribly long. I am telling you - a laptop is the way to go. It is really amazing how they are in touch - it makes the entire experience slightly easier for them both to handle. Link to post Share on other sites
patrickstarfishfan Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 My husband left Sunday for a 15 month deployment to Iraq. I miss him so much! I hear footsteps outside our apartment in the evening and hope that it's him, but I know it's not. We have a seven month old baby and live off post, I don't like going on post as it is too depressing there. I have planned a couple of trips to look forward to while he is gone. But, it's going to be a looong 15 months. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 was cruising sites on military lodging and came across the link to this site for friends and family of military members: http://www.silentwarriors.net/ unfortunately I can't access it on my home computer due to lack of memory/updated software, but I imagine this would be a fantastic place for support for you, AW and PSFF. I'll give it a look when I'm at work tomorrow, though. other ideas that come to mind: If you've got a particular talent/hobby/gift (like quilting or organizational skills), look to see if your community is doing anything in support of overseas troops and maybe get involved with them. Or even round up friends and family members to cooperate on a care package or letter campaign to your soldier. Or, now that the Christmas/Hannukah holidays are approaching, maybe send cards to wounded soldiers. There's a ton of ways to give your little bit of support – http://www.letssaythanks.com is one site i try to hit daily to send a card of encouragement overseas. hugs, quank Tell your nephew I wish him luck and to keep his head down I used to tell him and his brother that if they couldn't be good, then to run fast! Link to post Share on other sites
rinibell-2003 Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 My husband is going to iraq in march of 08 its my frist deployment but his second I am scared but I am with my family and hopefuly they can help me through this tough time. He will be gone for 15 months next time we meet is in feb of 08 then when he leaves he will not see my till I am 25 sad but I knew going into this I would have to deal with it because thats part of his job good luck and if you need help you should go to vajoe.com it a forum for wives and girlfriend dealing with deployments and military life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author armywife915 Posted December 9, 2007 Author Share Posted December 9, 2007 Thanks I will have to check it out. He is away for training right now so it's already hard. When he actually goes to Iraq it will be even worse. I just don't know what to do with myself. Link to post Share on other sites
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