Great date, am I being paranoid?

[KittyCat]

I met a guy through an internet dating service. We emailed a few times (lengthy) and found that we had a lot in common AND had the same character/morals/beliefs/sense of humor/etc. He gave me his #. We talked about 4 times a day (also lengthy) and he would also call me during the day just to see how my day was going.

 

We had our first date Friday night. We had a great time. We sang, never lacked conversation, his body language was towards me (girls, you know about that, right?), very comfortable with each other. Within one minute of being there, some other guy fed me a pick-up line, and me and my date laughed about it later. An acquaintance of my date was also there. The three of us talked and the acquaintance told my date that I was a great girl and did a thumbs-up to my date (lol). A friend of my date was also there and we talked and sang, too. The friend also liked me. My date was giving signs that he liked me, leaning into me, joking, lots of eye contact, just a lot of fun.

 

I rarely drink and I had three drinks. So, I didn't feel that I should drive home. To make a long story short, I went home with my date. First, let me say that NOTHING HAPPENED. He lives a few minutes away from where we were and I live an hour away. We got to his house and he was such a gentleman. He gave me some sweats and a t-shirt to wear, we listened to a CD we both liked (a rare one, too), and played with the dogs, and talked. We then went to bed. We slept next to each other, but nothing happened. We did kiss goodnight. His dog slept next to me all night. I do remember putting my arm around him during the night, but not all night. And he did spoon me once or twice.

 

The next morning (Saturday), we laid in bed and talked and I scratched his back a little and we played with the dog and we play-wrestled and we had a little pillow fight (he started it). We then went downstairs and sat next to each other on the couch, drank coke (neither of us are coffee drinkers) and watched the news in our PJs. Never did we see each other naked. Then, a couple of hours later, I said that I should be getting back to my car, also he had things to do that day. He had plans that had him traveling out of state. We got dressed and he drove me to my car. Again, the conversation was great in the car.

 

My car was parked in a garage, and he drove into the garage to my car, even though he would have to pay a garage fee. We got to my car and he walked me over to it. We kissed goodbye a few times. Said he would call me later. We both left the garage. He called me a couple of minutes later to make sure I knew how to get home. I did and thanked him for thinking of me. He didn't call me that night, even though he said he would call me later. So, I called him and got his voicemail and left a message.

 

The next morning (Sunday) he called and apologized for not calling but he didn't have reception where he was (I do know it was a remote mountainous area). So, we talked for a good bit and later in the conversation I asked if I would see him again - his response was "sure, absolutely". He said he would call me later. He called me a couple of hours later. We talked for a few minutes and he said he would call me later, which would have been Sunday night.

 

He didn't call. And here it is Monday early afternoon and he still hasn't called. Am I being paranoid? He used to call three and four times a day. What do you think of our date? Should I be worried? It seemed to go well and he seems to like me. Am I just being ridiculous to worry that he hasn't called me when he was supposed to call me last night?

[Tony T]

1. "Am I being paranoid?"

 

I don't know if you are being paranoid, but you are certainly being way overconcerned about trivia. Nobody can stand another person analyzing their every movement and breath. Relax!!!

 

2. "He used to call three and four times a day."

 

That was nice. Right now he's busy getting ready for a trip. Give the poor guy a fricken break. You aren't the only thing he has going and if he knew you were obsessing about him like this it would turn him off completely.

 

3. "What do you think of our date?"

 

Your description of it sounded excellent. However, I wasn't there so I really don't know exactly what to think.

 

4. "Should I be worried?"

 

Knock yourself out if you want. I seldom worry about anything. If you like to feel bad, worry your little heart out. Whether you see or hear from this guy ever again in your life will not be affected in the slightest by how much you worry today.

 

5. "It seemed to go well and he seems to like me. Am I just being ridiculous to worry that he hasn't called me when he was supposed to call me last night?"

 

Yeah, and I was supposed to win the lottery Saturday night.

 

Yes, I think you're being a little ridiculous. When you hear from him, I'm sure he'll explain why he didn't call. But you better get used to people doing things when they can. Go find a hobby or something to occupy your time. You'll surely end up in the funny farm if you spend your life wondering why other people didn't act in a way you wanted them to...or in a way they promised. People do what they're going to do when they're going to do it, regardless of what you want...and regardless of what they say.

[KittyCat]

LOL - Thanks Tony. I know it sounds like I'm obsessing. It's just odd to go from talking with him so much to not. He's not getting ready for a trip, he went on a day trip last Saturday.

 

Anyhow, thanks so much for your take on things. I've had friends that went on seemingly excellent dates just to never hear from the guy again. It's a mystery to us girls.

[KittyCat]

Does anyone else have anything to add...?

[yes]

if i were you, i'd create some space - spending too much time together - in person or on the phone, can backfire.

 

and there's nothing wrong with not calling for several days, to my mind, as long as he explains that he was busy, etc. I don't understand these girls who get mad at a guy when he doesn't call for "a day and a half"...

 

-yes

[cindy0039]

There is always a lot of calling and getting to know each other in the early phase of courtship. But I think the amount you guys have been doing is a little over the top and that you shouldn't expect that to continue. You've had one date with this guy and it sounds like you expect him to call you several times a day. MY opinion is that is unreasonable and will only lead to an early burn-out of this relationship.

 

I'm with Tony. Try to relax and back off a bit and find other things to do with your time. Sometimes when it comes to dating, it's quality over quantity of time spent.

[KittyCat]

Wonderful advice from you all. I agree that calling so much can (and probably should) dwindle from the initial novelty of someone new. He called me a lot.

 

I don't expect him to call me all the time, only when he says he will. And even that may be expecting too much from what I'm getting from you all. It's the old "I'll call you" thing, and they don't. Why do guys do that? lol I'm not mad that he hasn't called. Just curious why he hasn't when he always does. So, I started to wonder...

 

Cindy - I agree re: early burnout. Great point.

 

And, yes, contrary to what you all may believe - I *do* have hobbies and other interests.

 

Thanks!!!

[cindy0039]

I don't expect him to call me all the time, only when he says he will.

 

Well, maybe he's feeling a little pressured by you at the time to say that, so he says it...and then later he's busy or doesn't really want to (?) Sometimes guys just say what they think we want to hear at the time. They're not exactly lying, just trying to keep the peace. It doesn't mean he doesn't care for you, maybe he just wants things to slow down a bit.

 

Keep us posted.