In search of relationship/companionship

[Pyro]

Thanks. I have self-respect. That is not the issue here. Issue is how some men hide the fact that they are attached.

 

Guys will do that because sex is the number one thing on their mind. I am not saying that all guys do that, just the scummy ones.

 

All I can say is to get to know the guy and find out the facts that are most important to you before you invest your emotions and feelings into him. No one can cover up a lie like that for an extended period of time.

[Woggle]

Thanks. I have self-respect. That is not the issue here. Issue is how some men hide the fact that they are attached.

 

Women do it also so it is not one sided but the fact of the matter is that most people on this world are out for themselves so if they can get away with juggling two people they will. Youa re lucky if you manage to find one of the few people with some scruples.

[Leia]

All I can say is to get to know the guy and find out the facts that are most important to you before you invest your emotions and feelings into him. No one can cover up a lie like that for an extended period of time.

 

I did get to know them before I invested my time and feelings for them. They were good at hiding things especially one ex of mine. His friends helped him as well. It's a long story but the recent ones I went out with, I did ask first and some I didn't even bother to get to know because I have had enough.

[Leia]

Women do it also so it is not one sided but the fact of the matter is that most people on this world are out for themselves so if they can get away with juggling two people they will. Youa re lucky if you manage to find one of the few people with some scruples.

 

Some women, you mean? Note that I always use 'some men' and not 'men'. I know some people can juggle more than one, some even two relationships at once as I have been victims of those people. I know there is a guy that I can trust out there.... but right this moment, I just cannot bring myself to open up.

[Pyro]

I did get to know them before I invested my time and feelings for them. They were good at hiding things especially one ex of mine. His friends helped him as well. It's a long story but the recent ones I went out with, I did ask first and some I didn't even bother to get to know because I have had enough.

 

Unfortunately some are better at hiding it then others. You just need to learn how to read people in certain situations. If you ask to hang out with a guy and he has plans to hang out with the other girl at the same time, he will more then likely get nervous, stutter his words and make up some lie. Of course every person will react different, but generally speaking, most liars will act in those regards.

[Pyro]

Some women, you mean? Note that I always use 'some men' and not 'men'. I know some people can juggle more than one, some even two relationships at once as I have been victims of those people. I know there is a guy that I can trust out there.... but right this moment, I just cannot bring myself to open up.

 

Read some of his past posts and you will see that same pattern throughout.

[Leia]

Unfortunately some are better at hiding it then others. You just need to learn how to read people in certain situations. If you ask to hang out with a guy and he has plans to hang out with the other girl at the same time, he will more then likely get nervous, stutter his words and make up some lie. Of course every person will react different, but generally speaking, most liars will act in those regards.

 

The ex I mentioned, he didn't stutter at all. He must be an A class liar because he did it so well! Lied about whose car he used to pick me up, the homemade cheesecakes he 'baked' for me and family. Turned out to be his ex-girlfriend (which was still his girlfriend and I was the other woman) that baked it. He picked me up daily from work using her car. So many other things he did that really made me feel SO stupid when I found out. It really changed me!!! He hid it so very well, Riddler.

[Woggle]

Some women, you mean? Note that I always use 'some men' and not 'men'. I know some people can juggle more than one, some even two relationships at once as I have been victims of those people. I know there is a guy that I can trust out there.... but right this moment, I just cannot bring myself to open up.

 

I don't mean all women but what I meant to say is that being a player is not strictly a man's game. I know that good women exist because I am married to one.

[Leia]

Read some of his past posts and you will see that same pattern throughout.

 

Same pattern of what?

[Pyro]

The ex I mentioned, he didn't stutter at all. He must be an A class liar because he did it so well! Lied about whose car he used to pick me up, the homemade cheesecakes he 'baked' for me and family. Turned out to be his ex-girlfriend (which was still his girlfriend and I was the other woman) that baked it. He picked me up daily from work using her car. So many other things he did that really made me feel SO stupid when I found out. It really changed me!!! He hid it so very well, Riddler.

 

Ouch. An ex friend of mine was the same way. He was god at lying and it never phased him. Of course he is now an insurance salesman.

 

People like that you really can't do anything about except to avoid them at all costs. He was able to get away with alot and he hurt his now thankfully ex-GF along the way. His disregard for the feelings of others and only caring for his own is what lead to us not being friends anymore.

 

I fear that his ex is in the same boat as you. I believe that time and meeting one heck of a guy is what will help you and her out.

[Pyro]

Same pattern of what?

 

"Women this" and "women that" and not "some women" but I will say that he has gotten way better about it as of late.

[Leia]

I don't mean all women but what I meant to say is that being a player is not strictly a man's game. I know that good women exist because I am married to one.

 

Good for you and I hope you treat her the same way!

[Woggle]

Good for you and I hope you treat her the same way!

 

I do because if I didn't feel she was worth it I would not be with her in the first place.

[Leia]

Ouch. An ex friend of mine was the same way. He was god at lying and it never phased him. Of course he is now an insurance salesman.

 

People like that you really can't do anything about except to avoid them at all costs. He was able to get away with alot and he hurt his now thankfully ex-GF along the way. His disregard for the feelings of others and only caring for his own is what lead to us not being friends anymore.

 

I fear that his ex is in the same boat as you. I believe that time and meeting one heck of a guy is what will help you and her out.

 

LOL Why am I not surprised that he is a salesman!

 

The hurt will always be there, that's what sucks about getting hurt that way. I heard that lying b****** ex of mine married his ex-girlfriend. Good for them!

[Pyro]

LOL Why am I not surprised that he is a salesman!

 

The hurt will always be there, that's what sucks about getting hurt that way. I heard that lying b****** ex of mine married his ex-girlfriend. Good for them!

 

and may they live unhappily ever after.

[Leia]

and may they live unhappily ever after.

 

Oh yes!

 

Anyway, what did I say about good men? They are all taken. Of course, not the ones I used to date!!

[Pyro]

Oh yes!

 

Anyway, what did I say about good men? They are all taken. Of course, not the ones I used to date!!

 

Was that referenced to me?

 

You are too kind.

[Leia]

I had a meeting just now at a cafe. While waiting for my client, I did some work on my notebook and of course I was on LS. I still am! This place is addictive with all these nice people to give you opinions.

 

Anyway, there was a very attractive young man sitted across me. I wanted to go up to him so bad but I didn't. At the back of my mind, I keep telling myself that he has a girlfriend or after getting to know him, I'd end up being his OW. What is wrong with me??? It doesn't have to take a very attractive man to make me question their status.... even a sweet looking man would make me question them!!!!!

[Pyro]

I had a meeting just now at a cafe. While waiting for my client, I did some work on my notebook and of course I was on LS. I still am! This place is addictive with all these nice people to give you opinions.

 

Anyway, there was a very attractive young man sitted across me. I wanted to go up to him so bad but I didn't. At the back of my mind, I keep telling myself that he has a girlfriend or after getting to know him, I'd end up being his OW. What is wrong with me??? It doesn't have to take a very attractive man to make me question their status.... even a sweet looking man would make me question them!!!!!

 

It could be too soon for you to get over your fears.

 

How long ago was the most recent guy who lied to you about having a GF/wife?

[Leia]

More than a year ago. The most recent doesn't count because we didn't have anything going on at all.

[Trialbyfire]

leia, why are you looking to approach some strange guy, who you have no idea about?

[Pyro]

More than a year ago. The most recent doesn't count because we didn't have anything going on at all.

 

Well you started this thread about it, so more then likely it still is bothering you to an extent, which is perfectly acceptable.

 

There is nothing wrong with you because you didn't go talk to that guy. Getting over what you have been through with guys doesn't get better overnight or even in a year. Everyone overcomes their fears at different times.

[Leia]

I just find him very attractive. I wouldn't say hi even if someone made me. I thought about it but I know I would never do it. If he approached me, I would still have the same thoughts.

[Leia]

I feel that if I don't get over this, I will hurt the next guy who is actually single and sincere in wanting to be with me. Thanks, I agree with you on people overcoming their fears at their own pace.... I just wish I would be done with it soon!

[Pyro]

I feel that if I don't get over this, I will hurt the next guy who is actually single and sincere in wanting to be with me. Thanks, I agree with you on people overcoming their fears at their own pace.... I just wish I would be done with it soon!

 

Well you shouldn't get involved with a new guy until you overcome your fears, so you shouldn't have to worry about hurting him.

 

Talking about it in a place where others give advice is definitely a nice start I would say.