Is she cheating on me?

[chris2003]

Alright me and my girlfriend of 2 years were friends before on relationship for about 7 years and she is my next door neighbor. She has a shady background some stuff I know about some stuff I don't. Well she was actually my first real girfriend both socially and sexually, and I think she is the love of my life. Infact so much that I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Now we are both 18, i know to young, but anyway for a while after her best frind left for college we were always together 24/7 it felt like, and we always were at home hangin out watching TV. Except lately she has been kind of suspicious. She has invited two guys from her work over to her house to hangout without asking me if I cared, she just figured i wouldn't she said, and she had an old friend of hers over too who also has a b/f of two years. Well the day after she had them over she told me her friend cheated on her b/f with one of the guys and she said her and the other guy just watched TV and talked and then he gave her a back massage and she also told me he hit on her but she didn't do anything then they also didn't leave untill 5:30am. Well i have no reason not to belive her, so I did and dropped it. Well they had them over a second time a couple of days later and nothing happened, between any of them they just sat around and hung out but her friend started to like the other guy that gave my g/f a massage (my g/f told me.) But then about a week later she started hangin out with her old friend again and went to a bar/restaraunt that her old friend's sister owned and lived in. Well they got drunk, illigal i know, but she said it was just them two and the sister and they went upstairs and went to bed. Then the next day she broke plans with me to go to a party with the same friend and I wasn't invited to go. I already talked to her about this whole situation but I am still feeling not convinced. I feel these two guys that my g/f work with that were always calling and suddenly stoped have some part in this sudden change. I feel like there is still something going on even though she assures me that nothing would ever come between us and that she loves me very much. I feel very suspicious of her and feel like iam losing all trust even though there is no evidence yet. I never have been the jealous type untill lately. I sometimes cant sleep because i worry my self about what she could be out there doing. I feel if her friend who has a b/f of two years can cheat on him why couldn't she cheat on me, but then again he treats her badly. Am i being selfish about letting her spend time with her friends or am I being a good b/f being worried? Is there something going on? Please help me!!!!

[bryanp]

It really sounds like she is playing you and you are quite naive.

She invites two men and a girlfriend over her house and does not invite you? The girlfriends cheats on her boyfriend and has sex in another room while your girlfriend and this other guy watches television until 5:30 in the morning? He gives her a massage and hits on her and she invites these guys over again? This is a girl you asked to marry? You need to wake up and open your eyes.

Do you really think your girlfriend would thing it all right for you to invite two women over to watch TV with you and a friend and have a friend have sex with one of the girls cheating on her boyfriend while you and another woman watch TV and have her hit on you and give you a massage?

If you are engaged to her why is she letting another man spend the night touching her and giving her massage. I doubt it was only a massage. She has shown total disrespect and contempt for you and your so-called relationship. You will need to get used to what you are feeling now because this will be what your future will be like with this girl. She is playing you for a fool and I think you know it.

[quankanne]

sounds like she's exploring right now, not realizing that she's overstepping the boundaries of your relationship because she doesn't see it that way. Playing you, not playing you, the fact of the matter is, you need to sit down and have a talk with the girl to see if you two are on the same page. If you two are engaged or pre-engaged, some bottom-line boundaries need to be re-affirmed. As bryan points out, if this was you with female friends at your house all hours of the night, I guarantee you'd have a hard time trying to explain to your girl that "nothing" was going on. Sounds like to me she's unconsciously acting on a desire to move on with her life, even if she does care about you.

[chris2003]

I do agree with both of you I don't think I being played but I do beleive she is exploring and doesn't relize she has overstepped on our boundaries. I do agree we both need to sit down again and talk, and i never thought about it that way , what if it was reverse and i had two girls over to party. and also i forgot to add she is my next door neighbor so its not that she didn't invite me its that I am always ovewr there and this night was no different except she didn't tell me that she was having company. Thank you to both very much! You have both opened my eyes.

[ASETTLE]

i think that you guys are right about the boundaries thing....my girlfriend is teh same way....except I have been kinda bad about it. She does stuff with alotta guys....and she doesn't live close. I Question our realationship alot. Anywho, the other day she goes to the movies with this guy and doesn't call me or anything that day. The next day when she calls me I asked what she had done the day before and she told me.....I was cool about it and told her that a friend of mine needed a stand in for a double date because this girl her liked wouldn't eave her friend behind on a saturday night. So I went....she was furious....I cannot figure out why she can get off thinking that its okay for her to do stuff...but not me. Anyways....I think that she has some boundary issues....maybe even realtionship issues. I know it's hard to think about that man because you love her and don't want to think of it that way.....but if she is....then you are just hurting yoursefl more with all of the broken promises that are going to go along with this.....she can't have you as a lover and be with another guy...she has to decide...she can't have her cake and eat it too

[bfaith]

i know you probably want her all to yourself and worry about other guys and yes i would feel the same way but maybe you should just believe her let her do what she wants,explore. You should do the same.You are way to young you need you enjoy life go out with you friends cheek out other options. And if you are meant to be remember it will be! just don't worry to much!