Hi..its about my dad..

[dudtnfkqslek]

hey im a 10th grade highschool student..really just a normal teenager.

i didnt wanna get help from my friends..cuz its a little embarassing, so i signed on and for some help from "experts"

 

well this is the story.

 

I found out my dad is really into pornography. it's really embarrassing to say but..

i guess i understand cuz.. he is an adult, and porn is made FOR adults

well, but then recently i found out that he was like seriously attatched to porn. I found them on his portable hard drive, i always catch him switching the channels whenever i enter the living room, and when i sneak back into the living room he's watching it. It was pretty shocking.

 

BUt now i have a feeling that he's even cheating on my mom..im not saying he;s in love with some other lady, that'd kill me, but he's just getting some prostitutes from somewhere and enjoying himself. Is this ok? I mean, he has a wife, and SHES the one who should provide the pleasure,,thats why they married! I understand that my mom's older now but still...

Theyre even kind of arguing right now. My moms saying that she wants to know whats happening these days, but my dad wont say anything, except that its becuase he's all tired. I even heard like sorry,, or something.. and my mom's like what did you say? what do u mean? and all that crap..

 

anyways..

He always goes out of the house at late hours when my moms asleep, tells me he's going for a drink or a walk and comes like 2 hours later. In the morning of weekdays he says hes going to work out but i dont see any sweat on him when he comes back.

 

Im really frustrated right now.. i really love them both, and i thought they really loved each other.

Do you think anythings going wrong with my dad? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? IF HE WERE MY FRIEND I WOULD GO UP TO HIM AND TALK ABOUT IT BUT SINCE IM HIS SON I CANT JUST GO TO HIM AND SAY "HEY DAD, WHAT'S KEEPING YOU LATE FROM WORK?" AND TALK ABOUT HIS SEXuAL LIFE :/. WHAT SHOULD I DOOOO?!

[Tripper]

Oh dear. This is not right!! You should not be struggling with this.

 

Do you have another adult you can speak with? A teacher at school, a close relative or perhaps the pastor of a church near by??

 

This is a very complex issue for you and you really should find some guidance. Please seek out an adult you can trust and ask them for help.

[sally4sara]

Man, I'm sorry you are going through this. Everyone wants to look up to their parents, but then you have to find out they are human too and screw up. Makes it hard to turn to them when you need advise....

 

Maybe if you did approach him about it, it would wake him up. Make him realize that his behavior is obvious even to his kid and that his actions effect you too. Its not like you are some oblivious baby anymore.

You have every right to approach him with this, it's your life too he is liable to change with his actions.

[Rachel_0814p]

As difficult as it may be for you, I say STAY OUT OF IT and DON'T DWELL ON IT. If your mom has a problem with his behavior, it's her responsibility to address it--not yours.

 

He's your dad and at your age, you should know him only as "Dad". If he's an otherwise good dad to you, then that should be your only concern. Let him know you found the porn so that he understands that he needs at the very least, hide it better. Then drop the subject.

 

When you're older, you'll be ready to deal with your parents as individuals with lives outside of what they share with you. Right now it's not your respondibility to know either parent in that way. That includes your mom and dads' love (and/or sex) life.

[MacgyverThis]

Woah Dud,

That's a tough one. I think if you can't face him directly you could approach someone else. Like the blabbermouth of the family and say something like "what do you do if you think someone is watching too much porn and cheating on their wife?"

Don't give any specific details and run away if you feel in danger of telling the truth.

I have done this inadvertenly(in a different situation) and it did have a result, the only problem is that you have no control over how it pans aout.

On the other hand confronting him directly is putting aot of responsiblity on your head and I doubt right now it's something you could deal with. However all the porn and the cheating may just be a way of your dad coping with the end of the relationship with your mom.

Maybe you could just have a chat with him about his relationship with your mom? Just to see what he is thinking/ feeling and if their relation ship is in trouble and that's why he is behaving like that?