OW anger vs MM anger

[Virgo1982]

Hmmmm, aren't they the same thing? lol

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

I thought that while I was typing...

[Impudent Oyster]

What a huge pile of C R A P!

 

Frankly I'm insulted that you find any of us dumb enough to believe the above drivel you spewed from your piehole.

 

If you or your life were A N Y of the above you listed, you would not be on this board with your thinly guised yet pathetically desperate attempts to garner negative attention - you'd be in your life, enjoying that life.

 

Protest all you want about how great your life is and keep pretending like you think we believe it. It's obviously all you have.

 

Are you calling me a liar? I don't lie, unlike people who are involved in affairs for whom lying is required to maintain the status quo.

 

Besides, I thought I was the pitiful pathetic BW? Now you're saying I have a great life as a well taken care of wife? Which is it, make up your mind, you can't have it both ways.

 

So am I to be pitied or envied? Pick one but please be consistent, waffling like that to make yourself feel better about YOUR choices only makes you appear petty and jealous, which is likely the case.

 

Oh and, "spewed from your piehole"? Who speaks like that? I am enjoying my life, I can't tell you how much enjoyment I get from reading about the trials and tribulations of being involved with married people. I think that's karma at it's best.

[Tomcat33]

What some fail to realize that until a marriage is dissolved legally, whether you are separated or not (divorced) the partners are obligated. And it is kind of hard to date a person who is already married. You and I will respectfully disagree.

 

 

What others fail to realise is that if you are living on your own and out of the marital house for more than 2 months in CANADA, you are legally separated and as a legally separated person you are can do with your dating life AS YOU WISH.

 

Go on any dating site, there are people on there who have been separated for yrs, have no desire to go back and both partners have their new respective relationships and yet they are still married (ok wait not both or else they would not be on a dating site LOL you know what I mean...). Tell it to the judge that you are still "married" and owe each other as a married couple. Financially yes, spousal duties no way.

 

But I agree, that dating a person recently separated is very hard.

[Impudent Oyster]

Honesty is the best policy.

 

If I were in the same situation, I'd probably wonder why he chose to go outside of the marriage with all of those perks-since your life is ultra-fab.

 

You can't be serious. I guess Brad Pitt or Mr. Christie Brinkley's lives weren't ultra-fab?

[Impudent Oyster]

You think you have respect? Not even your husband respect you enough to not cheat.

 

Sorry be so bitchy but you have got to be most deluded person that posts on these boards. You amaze me. Everytiem I read your posts I am left in awe of your state of denial. Just the fact that you are so obsessed with posting here shows how messed up your life really is.

 

Yes..that's right, I'm obsessed with posting here and my life is totally messed up...tee..hee.

 

Oh and you're not sorry to be so bitchy, it's just an innate affectation that has no doubt contributed to your current relationship status. I understand that self-control is an elusive concept for some people.

[Tomcat33]

You can't be serious. I guess Brad Pitt or Mr. Christie Brinkley's lives weren't ultra-fab?

 

 

I LOVE it when commoners try to compare their below average lives to those of hollywood stars. It makes me laugh really hard... :lmao::lmao:

 

 

Someone is spending too much time at the check out counter at the grocery store and forgot to pay for the bologne and velveta.

[Lyssa]

Someone is spending too much time at the check out counter at the grocery store and forgot to pay for the bologne and velveta.

 

Oh! Not again!!!

[Impudent Oyster]

I LOVE it when commoners try to compare their below average lives to those of hollywood stars. It makes me laugh really hard... :lmao::lmao:

 

 

 

The point being, genius, is that even men who have it all, money, fame, beautiful kids, success, gorgeous wives...will cheat.

 

I thought that was obvious, but I guess not.

[Tomcat33]

Oh! Not again!!!

 

 

Oh YEAH! Those trash mags can sure distract.

[OpenBook]

Yes..that's right, I'm obsessed with posting here and my life is totally messed up...tee..hee.

 

Oh and you're not sorry to be so bitchy, it's just an innate affectation that has no doubt contributed to your current relationship status. I understand that self-control is an elusive concept for some people.

 

You need to spew your venomous projectiles toward your CH, where they belong.

[Tomcat33]

The point being, genius, is that even men who have it all, money, fame, beautiful kids, success, gorgeous wives...will cheat.

 

I thought that was obvious, but I guess not.

 

What's obvious is that you are wasting my prescious time. I would rather be doing something less petty than continue this conversation with you, like watching dust settle on my window ledge.

 

 

PS what you mentioned above was NOT the case in your situation it is CLEAR what your situation was.

 

 

ta ta

[Impudent Oyster]

What's obvious is that you are wasting my prescious time. I would rather be doing something less petty than continue this conversation with you, like watching dust settle on my window ledge.

 

 

PS what you mentioned above was NOT the case in your situation it is CLEAR what your situation was.

 

 

ta ta

 

It's clear? Oh do tell, can't wait to hear what you think MY situation was...but now it's time for you to ignore me right? Just when you actually have to prove something that you can't. How convenient. And transparent.

[Impudent Oyster]

You need to spew your venomous projectiles toward your CH, where they belong.

 

Touche, and you need to keep your legs closed to other women's husbands, where they DON'T belong.

[noforgiveness]

So why would I want to tie myself down to someone like this when there are so many women willing to cook and clean for them and babysit this infants? They get all the crap while we get the best of them for the time we need and then we move on.

 

 

wow just wow.

 

Take what you want. Use what you want. Enjoy yourself and to hell with the destruction of lives you leave behind. You got what you needed and moved on.

 

That statement just says so much about you as a person.

[Impudent Oyster]

wow just wow.

 

Take what you want. Use what you want. Enjoy yourself and to hell with the destruction of lives you leave behind. You got what you needed and moved on.

 

That statement just says so much about you as a person.

 

I know. Isn't it amazing the way some people view the role of a wife in a marriage? I guess this one will NEVER get married if she thinks it's all about being someone's servant.

 

Truly one of the funnier posts I've ever read here. How can anyone stay away from this place? The entertainment value alone is fantastic!

[Fisherman]

I'm surprised this thread took the turn it did.

 

To answer a couple questions that were posed:

 

Do I blame the OW for the affair? No. Agreeing to her demands was my fault. I blame myself for being stupid.

 

What happened that I agreed? As I stated earlier I became dependent on her friendship so each time she wanted more if I didn't agree she threatened to remove the friendship. I didn't want to lose it. What she did you could compare to an animal trainer. I was the animal.

 

My wife has eclectic tastes. She reads everywhere and happened upon this site. So no, I am not concerned that many years after our problems she happened to read here. If you believe that I say what I say because my wife may read it that is too bad. My wife knows exactly what I believe and exactly what happened. I don't care if she reads this or not.

 

As I stated in the beginning, I posted here because the idea was stated that if the MM stays with his wife he loses nothing. That seemed to cause pain. I simply wanted to point out that it's not true. He loses a great deal.

 

But I will say that reading this thread has reinforced my aversion therapy.

[Impudent Oyster]

Fisherman,

 

Do you pity your wife? Do you think she's pathetic? Are you just staying with her out of guilt or out of fear for losing respect from your children and the community?

 

Come on, you can tell us the truth.

[cj1988]

Fisherman, I am so glad to see YOU again....wow, I thought they ran you off. I am a BS or I suspect my H had an affair. I accused him of it almost a year ago this weekend. Since that day, he has never been the same. My question is.....if he truly had an A, you would think he would atleast treat me better, even if he admits it or not? Sine the accusation, he has changed and now treats me worse. He was very angry for months after the accusation and even wanted out up until May of this year.

 

I try to talk to him about US all the time, he hates it and gets defensive, says there is nothing wrong, but I know....he is not the man I feel in love with 13 years ago. He is distant, we cannot communicate, he is less attracted to me sexually etc....what is wrong? He acts like he cannot stand me sometimes and all I do is try to love him, on him and be sweet. He talks to me like I am stupid, would rather hang out with his BF then come home most nights....so, again, is he really angry because he was innocent or is he still in a fog over her and no longer in love with me?

 

He loved me to death for the first 11 years, then after her....he changed and is not the same at all, he will not even kiss me most of the time....it is like he is giving up, but says he loves me and wants it.....what is wrong here? Is it me and should I leave?

[Virgo1982]

I know. Isn't it amazing the way some people view the role of a wife in a marriage? I guess this one will NEVER get married if she thinks it's all about being someone's servant.

 

Truly one of the funnier posts I've ever read here. How can anyone stay away from this place? The entertainment value alone is fantastic!

 

I thought she was talking about a specific group of wives...

[frannie]

I think another reason some OW here were suspicious of you is that your wife (Hi there!) is reading along. This makes us feel you may not be entirely honest as it is understandalbe that it is very difficult to be completely honest in front of the eyes of any BS.

 

That's certainly why I didn't bother to comment on the OP.

 

As for any affair, it is the fault of both players unless one is led to believe the other is single as in IS's case. Yet, I have a problem with the line of thinking that "If only women wouldn't make themselves available to my man, my man wouldn't cheat" because believe me, if there were no women available, a man would find something to cheat with whether it be another man or a ham sandwich.

 

I pretty much agree with this in many ways.

 

On the topic of 'only those who were lied to about whether the MM was M', I'd add that any woman who is told, 'my marriage is over and I'm leaving' also didn't exactly sign up for permanent OW status.

 

It's only those who went into an affair expecting and knowing that that was all there would ever be who can be said to have 'signed up for it'. And even then, as this board shows day after day, no one really knows what they're signing up for when getting involved with someone already committed.

[frannie]

Do I blame the OW for the affair? No. Agreeing to her demands was my fault. I blame myself for being stupid.

 

What happened that I agreed? As I stated earlier I became dependent on her friendship so each time she wanted more if I didn't agree she threatened to remove the friendship. I didn't want to lose it. What she did you could compare to an animal trainer. I was the animal.

 

Sounds almost like you would like to think you were powerless and unable to do anything about it. Doesn't sound a lot like someone accepting their responsibility in acting the way they did. Sounds like more blame-shifting to me.

 

You cheated. No one 'forced you' to do that.

[Fisherman]

Fisherman,

 

Do you pity your wife? Do you think she's pathetic? Are you just staying with her out of guilt or out of fear for losing respect from your children and the community?

 

Come on, you can tell us the truth.

 

I stayed with my wife because I love her. I was glad she forgave me. I also didn't have to tell her about what had happened. I chose to regain full honesty so we could have a good marriage again. I would never stay for the reasons you cited.

 

I do not, however, presume to assume that my reasons are the reasons for everyone.

[Fisherman]

Fisherman, I am so glad to see YOU again....wow, I thought they ran you off. I am a BS or I suspect my H had an affair. I accused him of it almost a year ago this weekend. Since that day, he has never been the same. My question is.....if he truly had an A, you would think he would atleast treat me better, even if he admits it or not? Sine the accusation, he has changed and now treats me worse. He was very angry for months after the accusation and even wanted out up until May of this year.

 

I try to talk to him about US all the time, he hates it and gets defensive, says there is nothing wrong, but I know....he is not the man I feel in love with 13 years ago. He is distant, we cannot communicate, he is less attracted to me sexually etc....what is wrong? He acts like he cannot stand me sometimes and all I do is try to love him, on him and be sweet. He talks to me like I am stupid, would rather hang out with his BF then come home most nights....so, again, is he really angry because he was innocent or is he still in a fog over her and no longer in love with me?

 

He loved me to death for the first 11 years, then after her....he changed and is not the same at all, he will not even kiss me most of the time....it is like he is giving up, but says he loves me and wants it.....what is wrong here? Is it me and should I leave?

 

I am sorry. I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I don't. Each person is different and just because I am the same gender doesn't mean I have any understanding of your husband. I hope you can find a resolution to your situation.

[Virgo1982]

I stayed with my wife because I love her. I was glad she forgave me. I also didn't have to tell her about what had happened. I chose to regain full honesty so we could have a good marriage again. I would never stay for the reasons you cited.

 

I do not, however, presume to assume that my reasons are the reasons for everyone.

 

Why did you cheat then? Because OW pressured you? Wow, I hope my H doesn't love me like that...

[Tomcat33]

wow just wow.

 

Take what you want. Use what you want. Enjoy yourself and to hell with the destruction of lives you leave behind. You got what you needed and moved on.

 

That statement just says so much about you as a person.

 

 

if I thought your assesment of me would affect me in any way I would ask you to elaborate but since it does not, I won't.

 

Pretty much what you described up there is how I see my relationship with my ex. I can see it as being used or see it as using, I won't victimise myself in my experience so I choose to see it as using him for what I wanted and that's that. If I want to I can also see it as he took what he wanted and destroyed me for what he wanted, he found the energy he much needed to plug back into his marriage...though I know that's not the case since meeting me actually messed him up even more, but I can't dwell on that we are all adults and responsible for our own actions.

 

His wife blameme at one point for the the day he and I started working together and we met, mind you she was off chasing her career at the time in other countries away form her home and her husband for months at a time, but of course it is my faiult their marraige was distant and fallina apar. Make me laugh please! I love a good chuckle.

She blamed me for "making" his husband stray. I'm flattered she gives me that much credit to think that I would MAKE a man do something he does not want to do, it puts a lot of confidence in me that I don't even have LOL. She later discovered all the emails all the advances from him to me she realised it was completely the other way around. He was making out to seem like their marriage was over when in fact it wasn't and he was out doing the pursuing. The wake up is always rude.

 

so we all took what we wanted and moved on.

I didn't destroy any lives, their lives were destroyed before I even came into the picture, in fact I helped them face their issues, they owe me for getting them communicating and facing their marital problems head on. Something they had been avoiding for years. so really if anything I should be claiming what they owe ME . :laugh:

 

I have a lot of fun on here if you haven't noticed.