sara Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Remember the guy I´ve been talking about in my messages? Well, I saw him again yesterday. He was very friendly, he was very calm, and cool. He asked if I had change of campus cause had not seen me in quite a while, (until last week that we were in the cafeteria at the same time, I thought that he would act like he didn´t care, but he was checking on me all the time, while his friends were talking he was staring at me) . I asked him why he didn´t call me or send an e mail all this months, he answered that he is very busy finishing his major. I felt very nervous, I was shaking so bad that my friends started teasing me, telling me the human Jell-o!! I was so embarrassed that he saw me shaking, but I don´t know why he was so calm, not nervous at all, at least that was he seem to be. He asked why I didn´t call him and I told him that I don´t have his number, so he gave me the number and he said to me that I can call anytime so that can get together and do something. At the time that we were talking I introduce him to my best friend, and he was so nice to him too. and the most important questions:why he was so calm? Why did he gave me his phone number instead of using mine and calling me? and, is it obvious that he hasn´t forgotten about me? when should I call him? and how can I loose my fear of the conversation? thanks for any advice you can give me Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 I don't remember your story, but I don't think you should call him. He copped out and put the burden on you, which is wrong. He has your number...he can contact you if he wants to see you. Of course he hasn't "forgotten" you, but there's a difference between being nice and friendly and being interested in more than that. I think if he is interested in more, he would find the time to call you, but that's just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 It sounds like there is a mutual attraction here. Both of you are also very reluctant to contact the other for some reason. If you don't hear from him in a few days, give him a call but keep the conversation in a friendship mode. By calling him and talking to him on the phone, you will be able to tell much better where his head is at with regards to what he thinks of you. Since you termed your post "an emergency," this would indicate to me that you are very fond of this guy. If that's the case, then you should pursue but not to agressively. There are many men who are shy or who greatly fear rejection. Also, you cannot tell from outside appearances whether or not somebody is nervous. And some people are more prone to being nervous and uneasy than others. Let not his state of mind be a primary concern to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sara Posted June 2, 2003 Author Share Posted June 2, 2003 That´s how I felt after hanging up the phone today, confused!! I finally called him and he was very nice, asking lots of personal questions , but suddenly he mentioned that he has a girlfriend!!! I was surprised because he didn´t act like he had one, and he never mentioned her when we talked before. I don´t know why he dind´t tell me that in person, why did he wait so long to tell me, and just when i called him? When he mentioned her he was very cool, I guess he expected a different reaction from me, I was in shock just for a few seconds, then I realize that maybe was his way of letting me know that he only wants to be my friend,.... he mentioned that we should hang out, just the two of us, he asked for my cell phone and gave me his, that´s how confusion came into my head, i felt a very cool attitude from him towards me, but I ´m mad because he was very flirtatious with me all this time. I won´t call him again, an d i guess he won´t call me either. What do you think about my sad but very common history? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Nothing sad about this at all. You should celebrate that in a very short amount of time you were able to eliminate this guy from your list of potentials instead of having to go through months of crap like a lot of ladies do. So now you are totally free to continue your search for a decent guy. There's no need for you to worry why certain people behave certain ways. They just do and to preoccupy yourself with why he flirted with you and then waited so long to tell you he had a girlfriend is a total waste of time. Write him off and move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sara Posted June 2, 2003 Author Share Posted June 2, 2003 I´m moving on, but I decided to stop my saerch, I have always found guys that don´t deserve my attention, I guess I will listen to my mother´s advice "Don´t search your prince charming, sooner or later he will find you" It´s sound very romantic, but I´m afraid that the truth it´s very different. Does good men still exist or they are just an invention of Jane Austen? Thank you for the advice and support everyone shows in this forums, sometimes I feel more comfort from you than from my friends! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 YOU ASK: "Does good men still exist or they are just an invention of Jane Austen?" I think good men do exist. The only problem is there is no real way to detect them except to pay a lot of attention and take educated risks. Link to post Share on other sites
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