What do I do? I ask!

[erose1957]

At the first of Sept. I moved in with a new room mate and met this great guy on the same day. I hadn't known either before as I wanted to start completlely fresh. My room mate turned out to be from the bowels of HELL. Drug addict, thief, liar and you name it. Whatever a person could do to make themselves look like the biggest loser in the world, this girl did it. Now the guy, he has known my situation at this crazy girls house from the start. As time went on I found out that she hadn't paid the rent with the money I gave her and yet she was demanding more! She even went so far as to kick in my door to my bedroom and stole many things from me. I had no proof for the cops so there was nada I could do! Since she didn't pay the rent she was evicted and of course so was I. Now here comes the real hard part for me.... My guy tells me I can stay with him since I have no family or friends to rely on. After I get here he says that I am killing our relationship because I clean his house. He says I move things to where he can't find them and he doesn't think anything needed cleaning anyway. When I first came to his place before I moved in, he told me to make myself at home and that he had nothing to hide anywhere or about anything, to do as I like and to not worry about him thinking I was snooping if I opened a drawer or cabinet. I like to think that I am not a snooper of any kind and that even if I thought he was hiding something I wouldn't go in search of evidence. I really don't ever want to find anything of this nature! But now, he doesn't really accuse me but jokingly hints at it. He invited me and I am doing everything in my power to get out of here before an explosion takes place between he and I. He has even taken to "punishing" me by withholding sex! Yikes! I know I haven't done anything wrong and he even admits that. Just because I am here in the flesh 24/7 is wrong. If this isn't making much sense it is because I am very confused as to what is going on myself. I am doing my level best to get a job and get out and I give all the money I can to help. If he says he loves me and doesn't want me to be unhappy why can't he just be cool for a little while? He actually says I am undermining his work even though I have done as he requested and wake him and have coffee ready when he gets up. It is either I am doing too much or not enough or just the wrong things entirely. I love him very much and don't want this to end our relationship but I can see it headed that way. Somebody PLEASE try to help me figure this out. I want him to be a happy guy again and I want to be happy myself.

[amaysngrace]

It would bother me if someone came in and moved my stuff around. Even if the house was cleaner than before it would still bother me. Because it would drive me crazy to not know where my things were.

 

I guess if you have to clean up just make sure you put all his stuff right back where it was. But it sounds like he doesn't want you doing those things for him. He probably thinks you're trying to be his cook and maid and waitress so there's no need for you to make money. Wrong. Cause he got by doing things for himself before you.

 

I think at this point he sees you more of an expense than an asset.

 

So take the time you use to clean and go find a job. Or two.

[erose1957]

Thanks amaysngrace! I took your advice to heart and things are starting to look up! I did get 2 jobs! We had a long heart to heart and cleared the air a great bit. Things aren't nearly as bad and we communicate alot more. He conceded to the fact that he was over reacting and I conceded the fact that I had way too much time on my hands! He says he wasn't looking at me as a drag on his finances yet as a wonderful thing that was overwhelming him with how fast he thought we were moving forward. It has been so great to be able to state my problems here and get a different perspective. Sometimes you just can't see the answer because you are to close to the situation. Thanks again!