I Can't Trust Her

[So-Suspecious]

Hi Everyone

 

I met this woman online, she is so outgoing and open and talkative with other guys but that makes me jealous, i kept telling her that it makes me feel bad when she does that, more over she likes to joke with guys but it eats on me when i see that, i want to be more calm about that, i am so suspicious about her because i have these thoughts that whenever she goes she flirt with guys, many times she hides things from me and i found out about them, i can't trust her any more, i can't even tell her that, but i am like sneaking and spying on her to know what is she doing when i am not with her, i don't know what to do .

[MEL914]

if you cant trust her leave her! trust is very important!

[RavinHarpy]

few things:

1. if she's not actively giving you a reason not to trust her, then you SHOULD trust her.

 

2. If she IS cheating and hooking up with other people where she is but still carrying a LDR with you, what's the point in worrying about it?

-You're probably never going to find out about it.

-You matter more than the other person and likely just using this other person as a crutch anyway or she would have broken up with you.

 

I know that may not be the answer you want to hear, but you're only going to know if something's suspicious if she WANTS you to know, so just let it go and just focus on the relationship with you and her alone. Don't mess it up by initiating disputes or creating tension between the two of you which would only motivate her to look somewhere else for real.

 

But I think if she was cheating or dating someone else, she would have ditched you because it wouldn't be worth the effort.

[gordon_gc]

few things:

1. if she's not actively giving you a reason not to trust her, then you SHOULD trust her.

 

2. If she IS cheating and hooking up with other people where she is but still carrying a LDR with you, what's the point in worrying about it?

-You're probably never going to find out about it.

-You matter more than the other person and likely just using this other person as a crutch anyway or she would have broken up with you.

 

I know that may not be the answer you want to hear, but you're only going to know if something's suspicious if she WANTS you to know, so just let it go and just focus on the relationship with you and her alone. Don't mess it up by initiating disputes or creating tension between the two of you which would only motivate her to look somewhere else for real.

 

But I think if she was cheating or dating someone else, she would have ditched you because it wouldn't be worth the effort.

 

I actually find that reply really simple but at same time insightful !! I'm in the same case as sosuspecious... I have serious problem of trust. If she is still keen talking to you, it could be she actually sorta care for you or maybe just is an attention seeker and like the attention you give her.

 

But as RavinHarpy just said, 1/ u should trust her (even though some girls like to mention the boys around them to keep you sorta jealous and keep ur fire on.

2/ if you don't know about it, why would u care...but my question is: u said u met her on the internet...have you actually hooked up with her or is that just some flirting over the net so far ? if u r in the last configuration (same as me), u should try not to worry too much. THE BEST u can do is being cool and make her have a good time...show her u r not that desperate (but please, dont play games!).

 

Your post and the replies given have actually helped me in some way ! THANKS

[WakeUpPeople]

Hi Everyone

 

I met this woman online, she is so outgoing and open and talkative with other guys but that makes me jealous, i kept telling her that it makes me feel bad when she does that, more over she likes to joke with guys but it eats on me when i see that, i want to be more calm about that, i am so suspicious about her because i have these thoughts that whenever she goes she flirt with guys, many times she hides things from me and i found out about them, i can't trust her any more, i can't even tell her that, but i am like sneaking and spying on her to know what is she doing when i am not with her, i don't know what to do .

 

Long Distance realtionships usually fail!!! I speak from experience specially if both are young. GROW SOME ****ING BALLS, your a MAN FIRST, taking B.S is not in are nature. Why are u telling her it gets u jealous more power for her to use on U..U found stuff that u didnt like that lead to ur miss trust, cut that off for good, no email, no text, no phones just vanish.. plus u met this person online so why are u stressing it!! its sad to say this but you grab a womens attention when u act like nothing bothers u, and act like u dont care and making her feel u can get other women and that they want u, so any time she wants to bull**** and u dead her shes knows ull go to the next chick..U dont love her because u didnt state it im assuming u dont, but the point is cut that off, theres too many other women in the world for u to stress someone whos not that serious. Ur a man so start acting like ONE...NO MERCY, TAKE NO BULL****...

[BaconDrips]

few things:

1. if she's not actively giving you a reason not to trust her, then you SHOULD trust her.

 

2. If she IS cheating and hooking up with other people where she is but still carrying a LDR with you, what's the point in worrying about it?

-You're probably never going to find out about it.

-You matter more than the other person and likely just using this other person as a crutch anyway or she would have broken up with you.

 

I know that may not be the answer you want to hear, but you're only going to know if something's suspicious if she WANTS you to know, so just let it go and just focus on the relationship with you and her alone. Don't mess it up by initiating disputes or creating tension between the two of you which would only motivate her to look somewhere else for real.

 

But I think if she was cheating or dating someone else, she would have ditched you because it wouldn't be worth the effort.

 

 

Thank you SO MUCH for this post. It's so true.

[taiko]

Hi Everyone

 

I met this woman online, she is so outgoing and open and talkative with other guys but that makes me jealous, i kept telling her that it makes me feel bad when she does that, more over she likes to joke with guys but it eats on me when i see that, i want to be more calm about that, i am so suspicious about her because i have these thoughts that whenever she goes she flirt with guys, many times she hides things from me and i found out about them, i can't trust her any more, i can't even tell her that, but i am like sneaking and spying on her to know what is she doing when i am not with her, i don't know what to do .

Slow down a minute so far all I have heard is that you met online and chatted some. Has either of you said anything about making the relationship exclusive. Have either planned a trip to actually meet face to face.. Just saying it sounds as if for now you are still at penpal phase not boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

We have no ideal how long this has been going on. Are you chatting hours a day, minutes a week etc.

[bish]

If something doesn't feel right, it usually isn't.

 

I can say from experience, if you can't trust her...leave and find someone you can trust.

[Tyra]

If you can't trust her, then you need to stop dealing with her. That's a no-brainer.

[Cobra_X30]

few things:

1. if she's not actively giving you a reason not to trust her, then you SHOULD trust her.

 

2. If she IS cheating and hooking up with other people where she is but still carrying a LDR with you, what's the point in worrying about it?

-You're probably never going to find out about it.

-You matter more than the other person and likely just using this other person as a crutch anyway or she would have broken up with you.

 

Your kidding right? Is that the kind of person you want to be with? A person devoid of morals, integrity, and feelings for you?

 

If someone could cheat on me with no guilt... I dont want them.

 

Directly to OP,

 

If your girl needs to flirt with other men to feel good about herself, my money says she is trash! She lies and hides it from you... not good. She is seeking sexual validation from others. You can put up with that if you like... I however would not, because I will not allow someone to pretend to love me.