truckdriving Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 My fiance and I have been dating for a little over four years. I have been a long haul trucker for most of that time. I am usually home about 3 or 4 days a month. Normally she could wait for me to get home and would ask me when I was coming home every time I called. When I got home the first thing she wanted was to have sex. It was normal for us to have sex two or three times a day when I was home. For the past year she acts like she doesnt care when I come home, she sometimes ignores my calls and wont call me back for at least day, and is evasive when I ask her what shes shes up to. Nowadays when I do get home I pretty much have to convince her to have sex with me or even to spend some quality time with me. If I am lucky we have sex twice while I'm home. Shes always to busy with homework, or is too tired, or just not in the mood. When I confronted her about it she gets mad at me and tries to swing the argument so that its me who has done something wrong. It would be bad enough if I was home all the time, the fact that I am gone all the time makes it unbearable. Please help!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 I don't know if she's cheating but somethings not right at all. I would wondering if she was seeing someone else. Anyway you can find out? Friends? Anything? This has been going on for a year? Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 26, 2007 Author Share Posted November 26, 2007 its been going on for a year give or take. I dont have any friends in the area, most of them are truck drivers too. I have considered hiring a PI but if shes not cheating and finds out about it, it would probably be the last straw. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 I always listen to my 'little voice' because it's always right... if your 'little voice' is telling you she's cheating... she probably is. You can hire a detective if you really want to know... or tell her you're at work and come home unexpected. It's hard to say.. but she has changed and there is a reason why she's changed.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 its been going on for a year give or take. I dont have any friends in the area, most of them are truck drivers too. I have considered hiring a PI but if shes not cheating and finds out about it, it would probably be the last straw. She won't find out... the PI are very careful and professional.. they know what they're doing... I very much doubt she would find out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 26, 2007 Author Share Posted November 26, 2007 My "little voice" is right most of the time but about this it gives me mixed signals. I dont know maybe I'm in denail Link to post Share on other sites
Heartbroken_07 Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 I would probabley do as some else has already mentioned and say your gonna be working and then come home early or unannounced. I dont think I would get freinds nor family involved in something so private unless info was volunteered. Maybe even a heart to heart talk would do the trick. Dont point fingers or place blame just ask her whats lacking. why she's been acting the way she has. Let her know that her happiness is important to you. It might be something simple like maybe she feels unappreciated, or unloved in some way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 26, 2007 Author Share Posted November 26, 2007 All I can say is that I am always sending her flowers and bringing home gifts from my travels. I should mention that she does all of our financial stuff and I have noticed that our money disappears and she cant account for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 26, 2007 Author Share Posted November 26, 2007 I am curious on what else it could be. I've been trying to figure it out but I havent been able to come up with anything. anybody have any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 She may be cheating, but there are other things to consider too. You being gone a lot can make some women cheat. Others cope badly but don't cheat. Drugs and booze could be a factor as well as depression. Worth checking into. If you suspect cheating, don't tell her you are checking! She'll be sneakier if she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 27, 2007 Author Share Posted November 27, 2007 She does smoke weed but she has been doing that since we met and since I am good friends with the person she buys from I know how much she smokes which so far its been a weekend thing for her. As for her drinking that I dont know. the only bottle we have is a bottle of johnny walker which is mine and besides she hates scotch. How would I be able to tell if she is depressed especially since I am gone all the time? Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 29, 2007 Author Share Posted November 29, 2007 Well I did it. I hired a PI yesterday so I should know soon if anything is going on. I kinda feel guilty about it and really hope that she doesnt find out. It would be my luck that the guy assigned to me is a moron and gets spotted. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 If the PI gives you some bad news, don't confront her yet. I've heard others on here suggest that if you know your partner is cheating and you share finances, it's a good idea to move all of your money to cash. Not sure how well this could work. Might also be an idea to talk to a lawyer on the sly to work out how best to protect yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
coffeecup Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Hi Truckdriver--did you talk to her about it before you hired the PI? maybe something else is going on (depression, sickness, etc). Also, um..some girls just get less in the mood, but maybe she needs a little more romance. If you find out that it's something else (not cheating)--it would be worth stopping the PI. I speak for myself when I say this, but I probably would feel really upset if my guy hired a PI. Of course, I'm not cheating. Anyway, I wish you luck. I hope your PI doesn't find anything. Link to post Share on other sites
coffeecup Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Oh, I missed the one about the money disappearing! That's bad! I agree you should move your money to separate account--or at least open up your own bank account right away. You work hard and shouldn't have to worry about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 I'm an owner/operator and about 6 months ago I stopped in cheyenne, wyo to fuel. After I fueled I went in to pay it with my fuel card (its like a debit card, it takes money out of my bank account) and it was refused. I have never been so embarassed. I called the bank and found out that there was only $150 in my account, there was supposed to be over $3000, and when I confronted her she told me that she had no idea where it went. So that day I stopped and opened an account at another bank. It still makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I earned that money with my blood, sweat, and tears and I have nothing to show for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Hi Truckdriver--did you talk to her about it before you hired the PI? maybe something else is going on (depression, sickness, etc). Also, um..some girls just get less in the mood, but maybe she needs a little more romance. If you find out that it's something else (not cheating)--it would be worth stopping the PI. I speak for myself when I say this, but I probably would feel really upset if my guy hired a PI. Of course, I'm not cheating. Anyway, I wish you luck. I hope your PI doesn't find anything. I have done everything I could think of to romance her. I sent her a vermont teddy bear (they're handmade) for her b-day, I send her flowers all the time, for our anniversery I took her to a resort/spa where we had candlelit dinners, she got the full deal at the spa and when I am home I wait on her hand and foot. I am out of ideas and motivation. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 She sounds like a total cake eater. She can cheat on you when you are not around, take money from your account and lie to you about it and you wait on her hand and foot when you are home and romance her. She has the best of both worlds. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. Refusing to come clean about the money is a huge red flag. It sounds like she has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will? I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Well Its become a non-issue now. I'm done with her, something I should have done awhile ago. Thanks for the advice everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Sorry to hear your story truckdriving. I was interested because my H used to be an owner-operator and was a long-haul driver. But in my case, he's the one that cheated so each time he left, I cringed when I thought he may be cheating again. Good luck and I think you can do better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author truckdriving Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Sorry to hear your story truckdriving. I was interested because my H used to be an owner-operator and was a long-haul driver. But in my case, he's the one that cheated so each time he left, I cringed when I thought he may be cheating again. Good luck and I think you can do better. Then you can appreciate what its like to constantly wonder if your spouse is with someone else. Worrying about it gave me an ulcer. Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 The trust is gone. $3000 is gone. The signs look like soon she'll be gone soon too. Time for "the talk". This is not looking good I'm very sorry to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Yes, she's cheating. She doesn't have sex with you, and then get's defensive. Sorry, but she's dogging ya... Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Oh boy something's up. Weather its cheating or she's losing interest; but given her offensiveness when confronted, that's a sign that she's hiding something (or someone). All signs point to cheating....you should keep confronting until she cracks, she probably will eventually. What your going through, the worry and neglect, must really suck and it's only fair for her to just come out with it. Link to post Share on other sites
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