confused mom Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 My ex & I received our divorce last week we have been separed since 3/15/06, everything is final. I've dated a wonderful guy for the past year, and he has even dated. We both admitted we still care for each other and having problems moving on, due to the fact we still care...Now, he has asked me to go to the beach for the weekend, just to talk and see if another relationship is possible. I really care for him and still love him, we just had problems and I blew up and walked out, emotional stress was a major fact, the death of a close relative! I just don't know which way to turn, give it another chance? loose the guy I'm dating? just really confused. Does second chances work? Link to post Share on other sites
bustertypsy Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Firstly how serious are things with your current boyfriend??? Of course second chances work,but the secret is learning from the mistakes that caused you both to divorce.If you still love each other,that's a prerequisite for sure,and you are confident that the time apart has made you learn from your mistakes and you feel that the initial problem(s) won't resurface,then the ingredients are there for a better,more loving relationship. Life is a learning process,so if you can look at yourselves and admit that you are wiser and have changed sufficently,then anything is possible. Good luck! Just make sure that whatever decision you make is the RIGHT one,or you could end up hurting more than you current partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused mom Posted November 27, 2007 Author Share Posted November 27, 2007 The guy I'm seeing is great, we get along really good, I just can not commit to him, because I still care for my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
kitkat289 Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 i've heard dat wen u think abt 2 ppl at d same time its not 'love' But i dunno how true it is...i guess no1 else knws d answer to ur ques cos only u,urslf knw how much u love ur ex n only u knw if it'll b hard 4 u to live widout him or not. If i were in ur place,i'd 1st c who'd keep me happy entire life n if i can trust dat person blindly or not....one shud never get back jus cos u sometimes feel miserable widout him/miss him badly but always keep ur eyes open n think b4 takin d final plunge. Link to post Share on other sites
bustertypsy Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 I think you should consider ending things with your current man. It's obvious that you love your ex.If you have respect for your current man,then be honest with him and don't put him in a position where he is going to get deeply hurt,should you and hubby get together. You know the pain I mean,so don't subject it upon him.In reality you are using him,how would you like to be used? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused mom Posted November 27, 2007 Author Share Posted November 27, 2007 I really don't feel like I'm using him, because from the beginning of our relationship I have told him I still care for my ex...he says he just wants me to be happy, either with him or with my ex, hopefully with him. He has been understanding, patient and caring during my doubts. I hate to hurt him, and I have told him this but he says its a chance he will take because he loves me and he will cherish the moments we do have together. He is everything that I want in a man and more, whereas my ex has several things that just drive me crazy but I still care for him and just can't let him go in my heart! I have tried since 3/15/06! But with this guy I'm dating he has children (which I love) but I have raised my son almost 18 and my ex's children (one is 19 and the other soon to be 17) since they was 9 & 11, I guess the only thing that holds me back with him is he has two small children (8 & 10) who I adore but I'm hesitate with them because being a step-mom can some time be hell! Link to post Share on other sites
bustertypsy Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 Fair enough if you believe you're not using him. He is an exceptionally understanding bloke to put himself second,be a substitute.He must love you a hell of a lot.It's such a pity it's not reciprocated. Anyway I am here to give you advice as a person who genuinely cares,so I hope you don't think I am being critical,just honest. Have you ever met up with the ex,for a heart to heart? If so have you discussed what broke you two up,and why you should be back as a couple?Unless big lessons have been learnt then you'll find yourselves back to square one down the line.I don't think the current boyfriend will be there to pick up the pieces should this happen.If he is then I would question his savvy. I wish you the best in what you do,but DO thread very carefully and give it serious thought before you make that decision. Link to post Share on other sites
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