50% Divorce rate and some poll results

[sumdude]

So these results are from an informal poll on a website I happened upon. Informal or not I find the results very interesting. If 50% of women are willing to cheat ... makes sense that the same 50% would likely be willing to divorce. Also I bet that the results for men would be about identical. The fact that "If I could get away with it" had twice the votes as "I'd feel guilty" or either of the No answers amazes me..

 

Ladies, would you ever cheat?

Yes, if I could get away with it 1466 votes (31%)

 

Yes, but I'd feel guilty 698 votes (15%)

 

No, I have too much respect for my partner 1383 votes (29%)

 

No, cheating is immoral 1099 votes (23%)

 

Total Yes 46%

Total No 54%

 

[Trialbyfire]

Your logic is flawed. Cheaters rarely want a divorce.

[quankanne]

survey is also flawed in that it's a statistical sampling of a certain population. The only way to develop a true sense of the mindset of people on the subject of adultery is to poll everyone across the country, or at least conduct two or three dozen such polls across the land, with the exact same questions posed to all of the people asked.

[sumdude]

Your logic is flawed. Cheaters rarely want a divorce.

 

Perhaps.... from observations and experience it seems to point to it. Read enough threads around here and more often than not a divorce and affair appear to go hand in hand.

[Trialbyfire]

Perhaps.... from observations and experience it seems to point to it. Read enough threads around here and more often than not a divorce and affair appear to go hand in hand.

That's because it's the offendee that initiates the divorce, not the offender.

[tanbark813]

A 50/50 shot that a given girl (or guy for that matter) would cheat sounds about right, IMO.

[DutchGuy]

Which website...

[Gunny376]

The greater demogtaphic is not the divorce rate, but the greater per -centage of "non-family households" (not living together aka shacking up, but living with roomates, or living single)

 

This type of household outnumbers

 

"Married with no children"

"Married with children"

"Un-married with no children"

"Un-married with children"

 

That is to say, that more and more people are chossing to (a) not get married or "shack up" to begin with, or (b) not to get re-married after divorce or separation.

 

By 2020, 20 % of all women in Western nations will be living alone!

 

Source: Time magazine ~ on shelves now.

[analyseThis]

50 percent divorce rate?

 

I have heard higher from other sources. As much as 66 percent divorce rate in North America. I think North America has the highest turnover for marriages

[AHIWON]

I can't do it. No man or woman should either. If you feel that way, get out of the relationship you are in and do it then. EA's are no different either, get out then go have fun with who ever it is you have the hots for. Want to do something extremely cruel to your partner, have an affair. It won't be easy on you either, you will have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life.

 

There are lies

there are damn lies

then there are stats

 

I know, I've worked with those numbers. The actual numbers may be a bit off, a lot of folks don't tell the truth even with honest surveys that have no implications. Imagine the lies if folks were asked about an affair......

[Lizzie60]

So these results are from an informal poll on a website I happened upon. Informal or not I find the results very interesting. If 50% of women are willing to cheat ... makes sense that the same 50% would likely be willing to divorce. Also I bet that the results for men would be about identical. The fact that "If I could get away with it" had twice the votes as "I'd feel guilty" or either of the No answers amazes me..

 

I think those stats would be much higher if the common-law were counted.

 

I can't put my hands on a survey that was done once... 100 men were asked if they would cheat, given the chance and knowing they would never get caught... 99 said 'yes, they would'

[sumdude]

I think those stats would be much higher if the common-law were counted.

 

I can't put my hands on a survey that was done once... 100 men were asked if they would cheat, given the chance and knowing they would never get caught... 99 said 'yes, they would'

 

Spoken like a true cynic... men... women no real difference when it comes to infidelity from my pioint of view.

 

Well... call me and a lot of my buddies that 1 in a hundred then. You can almost always get away with it once ... of you really want to. It's a matter of wanting to.

 

Ironic... my ex tried to accuse me of having some prostitute while I was on business in Korea a month before she left me, never would have happened. Just not the way I'm made.

[Gunny376]

Having personally been on the dirty end of the stick of a wife having an affair, and having had years to think about it?

 

A lot of who men are? Is wrapped up in their self esteem, self identies, along with their self confidence. Guess what takes a serious nose dive, when its the man whose the BS (Betrayed Spouse). I know that mine did ~ and it rocked me to my very core.

 

I lost my wife, my children (for all practical purposes) and damn near everything that I owned that was worth stealing, and then had to pay support (and then more on top of that when the child support was spent on buying new cars every two or three years).

 

Being on the front side of thirty and living a room (basically, think a motel room) in in the SNCO (Staff Non-commissioned Officers) barracks is all day hard coming from having a wife, children, a family, a home?

 

People out of NO, LA talk about Hurricane Katrina and how they lost everything, talk to someone whose been through a divorce and they can tell you about Hurricane________________(fill in the blank).

 

But taking gender out of the equation for a moment, people are people ~ regardless of gender. And while there are indeed profound differences between men and women ~ I personally believe we're more alike than disalike? I would say that men and women are much as 70 ~ 80% alike than disalike?

 

And, then once people (both men and women) get out of school and the "Five 'P's' (Parents, Preachers, Politicans, Professors, and the liberal Press) are less of an influence upon manipulating thier lives and choices ~ all bets are off! Anything is up for grabs.

 

And with sites like LS (and there's obviously a need), and with us regulars pointing the newly broken hearted to this site or that site, this book or that book ~ one would think that you would need a PhD in pyschology in order to make a marriage work.

 

To be honest with? Back before the internet, and such places as LS, and before I'd ever heard about Marriagebuilders, etc ~ I told my then wife: "At the very least you're having an emotional affair! (Way back in 1989 ~ I thought I was the one that "coined" the phrase?")

 

The then wife asked what that was, and I told her that she was investing herself "emotionally" with some other man (actually a boy) rather than me and the marriage.

 

And kid yourself ~ not! EA are just as bad as PA's!

 

But I've learned through "trial by fire" in the field ~ when you come by it? "Nip it! Nip it in the bud" as Barney Fife would say!

 

Its true! You can't make someone "respect" you more or less to a certain degree! But you can damned sure make sure they don't dis-respect you! Especially in your own home and in your face!

 

And taking a cue from Jmargel and others? When someone talks about leaving you? Stay cool, calm and collected and just tell them: "You do what you have to do and what you feel is best for you and I'll do the same! But know and understand this! There will be no begging to come back! If its over? Its over!

 

Just that damn plain! Just that damn simple!

[Trimmer]

I can't put my hands on a survey that was done once... 100 men were asked if they would cheat, given the chance and knowing they would never get caught... 99 said 'yes, they would'

I know you quote this "statistic" all the time, and you seem to base your outlook on relationships upon it, but until you can "put your hands on it" and cite the original source so we can see what questions and methodology were used ("informal poll on a website, maybe?") this assertion is no better than something you made up.

 

I don't question that the numbers might be high, but any credible, solid study that found a "99% would cheat" result would certainly have gotten enough attention to be a little easier to "put your hands on", don't you think?

[reboot]

I know you quote this "statistic" all the time, and you seem to base your outlook on relationships upon it, but until you can "put your hands on it" and cite the original source so we can see what questions and methodology were used ("informal poll on a website, maybe?") this assertion is no better than something you made up.

 

I don't question that the numbers might be high, but any credible, solid study that found a "99% would cheat" result would certainly have gotten enough attention to be a little easier to "put your hands on", don't you think?

C'mon, we all know that it IS made up...

[GRITS07]

I'm curious about a statement made. Please expand.

 

"Most cheaters don't want a divorce"

 

Huh?

[GRITS07]

I'm curious about a statement made. Please expand.

 

"Most cheaters don't want a divorce"

 

Huh?

[GRITS07]

I'm curious about a statement made. Please expand.

 

"Most cheaters don't want a divorce"

 

Huh?

[reboot]

I'm curious about a statement made. Please expand.

 

"Most cheaters don't want a divorce"

 

Huh?

If they wanted a divorce, they'd get one instead of cheating. Pretty simple.

[GRITS07]

Sorry about the duplicate posts. The computer locked up...

 

Okay, I understand the simplicity of your statement so I have to ask, why then do the cheaters risk everything? What could they possibly be thinking, or wanting?

[Trialbyfire]

Sorry about the duplicate posts. The computer locked up...

 

Okay, I understand the simplicity of your statement so I have to ask, why then do the cheaters risk everything? What could they possibly be thinking, or wanting?

It's variable. I don't think you can enmasse state that ever single one of them has identical reasons for cheating. That most of them have issues with being self-centered/selfish with a lower level of self-esteem, I think would cover the majority but not all.