angel_eyes2 Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Hi, This is the first time I've visited this forum and after reading some of the posts, I've built up the confidence to ask you all a question. I need some advice about what to do with my situation. My boyfriend has a group of guys he likes to hang out with. They're really into their cars and spend the majority of their time together talking about cars and how to modify them. I've gone out with them a few times and I have to admit I am usually bored simply because of my lack of interest in their conversation. Anyways, this month they are planning on going on a road trip so they can cruise around in their cars and go partying and they were discussing about whether they should invite their significant others to come. My boyfriend's first response was that no girlfriends should be allowed to come. However, his friends said that they would like to bring their girlfriends along. So in the end my boyfriend lost and it was decided that girlfriends would be allowed to come on their trip. So last night, my boyfriend asked me to come with him on this trip. Should I go? I can't decide if I should go or not. I feel like he may not really want me there because he originally wanted it to be a boys trip where they can go drinking and go to strip clubs, but since his friends wanted to bring their girlfriends, he feels like he should bring me because he doesn't want to risk being alone at times. I'm really confused about this. If he wants to have a weekend getaway without me, I'm okay with that (as in I can accept that, but I have to admit I am bothered by the fact that his friends wanted their girlfriends to come and he didn't), but the fact that he's asked me now, I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 if you're comfortable spending time apart from your SO, by all means, do so. there's no law that says you have to do every darn thing he wants to do (or vice versa). I'm a firm believer in spending time apart to enjoy hobbies/etc., so long as it doesn't affect your relationship's integrity (going off to spend time with your girlfriend from high school is one thing, going off with your lover is another!). Does your boyfriend sense that you'd have a better time doing something other than hanging out and talking about cars, and that's why he suggested no girlfriends, or is he up to no good? I think I'd consider those points before giving him an answer. If you're not comfortable hanging around when the guys talk shop, and he knows it, I don't think he expects you to want to go on a trip where that's what they'll mostly do. If you're still not sure, talk to some of the other gals involved -- maybe y'all can plan other things to do on the road, but not necessarily with the guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angel_eyes2 Posted May 27, 2003 Author Share Posted May 27, 2003 Thanks for your reply!! I appreciate it:) I think I should also add that we are in a long distance relationship...will it create potential problems for us if I do not go on the trip...sorry, to bother you guys, I'm just so confused! Thanks in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 the best person to ask is him -- and be sure to tell him to be honest about his feelings so that he doesn't give answers he "thinks" you want to hear. a question: how is he with you otherwise? when you're together does he begrudge the fact that you're there, or is he generally happy/okay with it? For some reason I get the feeling that he thinks you're going to be bored, so maybe he's trying to keep this interest in his life separate from what you do together. Call it faulty communications. For example, my husband seems to think that I don't like visiting his family with him because I don't like them. So I have to explain that to make the 10-hour drive out there, I need to plan in advance because I work full-time and he can't just expect me to jump in the car whenever the fancy strikes him to go see them. So, it's not about his family, but about his sense of timing! back to your situation. Talk to him. He'll probably appreciate knowing how you feel and what you think if you put it to him in a non-threatening manner! Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 Angle, Sorry to play the devil's advocate here, but if I knew my boyfriend only invited me because he felt he 'had' too, I wouldn't go. Instead, I would spend the weekend going out and having a good time with my own friends. Maybe your boyfriend needs to be left sitting by himself when the other guys are with their girls. He might learn to appreciate you a little more. Better yet...let him try to explain to them why you're not there. Link to post Share on other sites
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