Mixed signals

[InDoubt]

Dear all,

I met this guy a bit more than a year ago at a common friend's b'day dinner. I saw him a few times later, he seemed sort of interested in me but was very aloof (gun shy maybe? We both come from the same country, I know he wants to eventually settle down with s.o. from our country and I may represent a 'threat' of settling to him?) e.g. he would say let's do something for your b'day then dissapear. We are both 34.

 

Anyways, I saw him again at the same friend's b'day party a year later. He seemed more interested but still did not ask me out. But he kept coming up with all sorts of excuses to call often and meet up w/ me, with or w/o other friends. Some of those excuses did not work, because although I wanted to see him, the excuses to get together were so lame that I had to suggest more reasonable alternatives. He overheard me tell my friends that I was going to a rafting trip Memorial W/end. He sent an email that he wanted to come and that it would be fun to get our other friends to come (they said no).

 

Everything was going really well (two days before the trip I was teeling him how a couple we know found a beautiful house that's affordable since the rent comes from two salaries, and he said will we be able to find a place like that? !!!!!). The day of the trip came and he was different. He left a msg where he sounded upset, he said call to let me know what's going on. That was weird because he had been on almost constant communication the previous two days on trip logistics (which, in all truth had freaked me out a little bit- it was too much for me). I called, he was very cold, he said he was waiting for me to go by his house which is not what we agreed on the previous night. When we met, he was not paying too much attention to me, and later on he started flirting with a girl in our carpool. Later, as he was driving and the girl was sitting next to him, I tried to give him a backrub. He said "That's not necessary" I asked you don't want me to... and he repeated the same thing. During the whole trip he only came to stand next to me once. He didn't even care to do for me the very basic things that a friend would have done at a strenuous trip like that. At the end I was so pissed off with is attitude that I didn't even say goodbye.

 

What's wrong with him (or me)?

[Just A Girl2]

For the guy's age of 34 yrs, he sounds like a total dumba$$, and definitely not worthy of any more of your time or energy.

 

In fact, he just sounds really odd.

 

Limited experience with members of the opposite sex?

 

Cuckoo for cocopuffs?

 

Mortified of women?

 

Incredibly shy around women (and you) and acts like a horse's patoot when around women, particularly ones he's interested in. (doesn't know how to act).

 

Regardless of what the possible reason is, I'd say forget about him. He just sounds totally whacked out.

[InDoubt]

The reason why I wonder if I did anything wrong is that he kind of freaked me out. It was too much too soon. A week before the trip we went to buy some camping equipment, whenever he picked something he would ask me "What do you think, should we buy this" !!!???? as if we were married or something! Then four days before the trip he called two days in a row without leaving msg, and it was the ID unavailable type of calls but I'm pretty sure it was him. I didn't call back. We got together the next day at the pre-trip meeting and then I took him to a dinner party that I was invited to.

 

The next day, the day before the trip he kept bringing up that we should get together to buy food for the trip but I was too busy for that. I had to work late, I had a class at the gym and it was the only day we had to pack. I am afraid he thought I was not putting too much effort into being with him. I just don't know.

[ShortyBrown]

He sounds like one of the most immature 34 year olds I've ever heard of. Forget this guy, another one will come along who simply likes you, no games and no complications.