Fiance traveling for work...

[overanalytical]

my fiance is now traveling for his job...he's 12 hrs away and won't be back for at least 2 weeks. i miss him terribly. i talked to him last night and prob won't again until tonight as he's in training/meetings all day.

 

last night he was going to 'drink with the guys'...have a few bourbons in the guy's hotel room and then go t bed at whatever time. now here is my problem...i dont' want him going out with these guys and drinking and going to bars. he told me he wasn't but i know how it gets around new people, you don't want to be singled out. but he's there to make money, do a job, not socialize...he knows that but at night i guess waht else is there to do at a new place.

 

i don't know how to handle this...what if he does start going out at nights cause he has nothing else to do and doesn't want to be singled out? i trust him but we can't afford him doing that right now...and it's not like i'm having a fun time at home. i told him i wouldn't go out or do anythingso i'm sitting at home...and if he starts going out i'm going to be highly irritated cause i'm at home, doing nothing cause i know he's having a hard time...and then he goes out??!!

 

i guess i need to wait until i see how this goes...don't need to jump the gun.

 

what should i do IF he does go out with the guys?? not worry about it and find it good that he is getting along with his team and hope that he makes a ton of money while he's there??

[littlekitty]

Ummm to be honest, I think you're being rather harsh!!

 

My hubby is currently away on business. He's only gone for 4 days this time, but still. We're surviving on texts and the occasional email during the day! I don't need to speak to for hours several times a day!! Just a 'I miss you and love you' is fine.

 

I trust him.

 

Will he be going out? Sure as hell he will. Sorry, but from my own personal experience (I've travelled with work a LOT!) going out in the evening with your collegues/team is par for the course. In fact it's expected and it not generally looked well upon should you refuse to do so. You don't have to drink or whatever, but you are expected to mix and network.

 

Will he be reimbursed for his expenses? To be honest, either way I don't think you have a right to expect him to not socialise and to stay in his room each evening. If you are pushed for money he can be careful. But if he is out there for business, sitting in his room alone is surely less likely to make him business that networking? It's your choice to stay in alone. If you don't have the money to go out - no problem. But don't guilt him about it.

 

I'm sitting in, hogging the remote control, eating the things he's not too keen on and enjoying the peace and quiet!!

 

I think you need to chill out a bit. I feel this IS a trust issue for you rather than anything else.

[Enema]

Agreed with the above poster.

 

You tried to make it seem like you object because of it costing money, but clearly it's all about your trust issues, jealousy and possessiveness.

 

I don't know if you've managed to fool yourself, but we can see it.

[catrocks]

what should i do IF he does go out with the guys?? not worry about it and find it good that he is getting along with his team and hope that he makes a ton of money while he's there??

 

Yes.

 

As the other posters have said, you can't expect him to sit in his hotel room all night and mope while he's away. You can have fun without him and he without you, you are not one person, and you should not be that dependent on each other. Do you/ he go out with your respective friends without the other one when he's at home? If not, why?

 

Is this because you don't know these people he'd be going out with? You say it's because you can't afford it right now (like Little Kitty says, wouldn't he be reimbursed by his company?) but it really seems like you can't bear to think of him going out and having fun without you. If you're going to spend the rest of your lives together you need to be able to trust each other and be comfortable enough to go out without each other and have fun.... otherwise you will suffocate each other.