mtbcyclist Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 To start off I am not one who is a sex-aholic, but I never get it anymore. The wife is not the LEAST bit interested in sex and is only 41 years old and I am 36 years old. We have a 1.5 year old wonderful boy. She is not going though menopause yet as we have talked about that. Few questions for you all. 1. Is this normal? 2. What can be done? 3. Is sex still fun for woman after children? (my wife hates it) Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 When was the last time you had sex? Or are you saying you two have not had any sex since you child was born a year and a half ago? How long have you two been married? How do you know she isn't going through menopause? Or early stages of it? Has she had a full physical, checked her thyroids, blood levels etc? Is she depressed, feeling stressed out? Also, are you being romantic, meeting her needs, helping out around the house, giving her a break from your son? Other than the bedroom - How is the rest of your relationship? Do you two get along well, communicate and listen to eachother? 1)Depends on the woman and marriage itself. 2)Talk about it with her, don't make her feel bad, but let her know that you need to feel loved and desired too, and that sex is important for the marriage and intimacy between you two. 3)Yes. But, then again, it depends on the woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtbcyclist Posted November 29, 2007 Author Share Posted November 29, 2007 Thanks for the reply. To be quite honest the marriage is in the ****er. My wife has some server lazyness problems and also suffers what I think is altimezers (spelling). Had MRI done, multiple blood test done, and most recent was a neuro psych test which I have not gotten the results back. She is 180 degree different then what I married. She does not give our 1.5 year old much attention unless I bring it up. I am basically mom, dad and provider for my son. Thank god he is easy going and happy all the time as he is the only thing in the house that makes me smile. Maybe I should have posted this in the divorce part of this forum. She goes to bed at 7:30-9:00 every night and does not do a darn thing during the day as our son is in daycare as I don't trust her with him as she has done multiple life threating things with him such as leave him with a dog unattended (face got scratched up), leave him to eat unatteneded... Enough said.... any advice would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Thanks for the reply. To be quite honest the marriage is in the ****er. My wife has some server lazyness problems and also suffers what I think is altimezers (spelling). Had MRI done, multiple blood test done, and most recent was a neuro psych test which I have not gotten the results back. She is 180 degree different then what I married. She does not give our 1.5 year old much attention unless I bring it up. I am basically mom, dad and provider for my son. Thank god he is easy going and happy all the time as he is the only thing in the house that makes me smile. Maybe I should have posted this in the divorce part of this forum. She goes to bed at 7:30-9:00 every night and does not do a darn thing during the day as our son is in daycare as I don't trust her with him as she has done multiple life threating things with him such as leave him with a dog unattended (face got scratched up), leave him to eat unatteneded... Enough said.... any advice would be great. I'm amazed with all this going on, that you would ask questions about your sex life. Your wife sounds like she is in serious trouble. Maybe it's clinical depression, maybe it's post-partum depression, maybe it's something else, like a brain tumor that can cause huge changes in a person's behavior and personality. But wow, of course she's not into sex when she's so messed up. Has she seen a psychiatrist? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 She's probably depressed too...Sorry, you have alot of health issues going on which has been affecting your marriage, and affecting her from being a wife and mom.. Is your wife willing to go talk to a therapist? It could just help her with coping with life skills, even the easiest of tasks for her probably seem like the hardest things to do right now. Also, her cognitive awareness isn't working well, so that is another reason for treatment. You also might benefit too, talking to a trained therapist to help you cope with all this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtbcyclist Posted December 2, 2007 Author Share Posted December 2, 2007 Visit Family Doc several times (does not think she has depression) Multiple Blood tests done - negative Talked to Psychologist a few times - negative (does not think she has depression) Had an MRI done - negative NeuroPsych Test - Still awaiting results Sex is the least of my concerns, but I just posted the question as this the only place I felt I could discuss something like this comfortably. My sister (occupational therapist) and her husband (neursurgen) thinks she has all [sIZE=-1]Alzheimer's. Really sucks. She is 180 degrees different then the woman I married over six years ago. If my wife were a stranger that I just met there is no way in helll I would date her or even mary her (the way she is now). Truly sad. Link to post Share on other sites
CrabbyPatty Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 If she hates sex, there isn't much you could do. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 Wouldn't her doctor have noticed Alzheimer's? Has she had her thyroid checked? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtbcyclist Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 Thyroid was checked in the blood test and was normal. Dr. did notice deficiencies but was not sure exactly how to classify it and I trust the Dr. as he is pretty sharp. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 She needs to see a Neurologist. Get a referral from her Dr. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Thanks for the reply. To be quite honest the marriage is in the ****er. My wife has some server lazyness problems and also suffers what I think is altimezers (spelling). Had MRI done, multiple blood test done, and most recent was a neuro psych test which I have not gotten the results back. She is 180 degree different then what I married. She does not give our 1.5 year old much attention unless I bring it up. I am basically mom, dad and provider for my son. Thank god he is easy going and happy all the time as he is the only thing in the house that makes me smile. Maybe I should have posted this in the divorce part of this forum. She goes to bed at 7:30-9:00 every night and does not do a darn thing during the day as our son is in daycare as I don't trust her with him as she has done multiple life threating things with him such as leave him with a dog unattended (face got scratched up), leave him to eat unatteneded... Enough said.... any advice would be great. and after all that you want sex ?.. I'm not surprised she doesn't want to have sex with you.. you need to work on your marriage first and the sex will turn around.. You also sound very critical of her.. She is the mother of your child and you are calling her lazy.. Have you thought about the fact she might have postpartum depression stemming from the birth of your child? Please get her to a therapist or doctor that can diagnose whether or no she is depressed or not. Link to post Share on other sites
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