Not sure what to think or do!

[Baldy]

I recently met someone through a dating agency. As my job envolves so much driving it is impossible to meet anyone. Especially when I don't get in till late sometimes. Anyway, I was left a message by someone and we started to text each other several times a day everyday. She would text me anything from what she was going to cook that night to how her day went. She would often just text me to say goodmorning or to see how my day was going. Very quickly she started signing her texts with three kisses (xxx) and even just text me her name with kisses.

 

As we were getting on so well we decided to meet. The date went extremely well and we both admitted later that neither of us felt nervous meeting as we just seemed to click on the phone and when texting. We decided to give the relationship a go and had a wonderful evening of just curling up on the sofa together watching TV, and I ended up staying the night. This might have seemed a bit quick but as we had been talking for the past few weeks and felt so comfortable together it seemed right. When I left the next day she gave me a couple of very firm hugs and kisses which made me feel like this was going to be the start of something good.

 

I am going on holiday for two weeks (this was organised well in advance of us meeting, and she new about the holiday as I told her from day 1) and I said that I would ring her before I go - this beeing in the next couple of days. In the mean time however I have not received a single text from her. Like I said before she would text me several times a day but now nothing. I have text her a couple of times, the last one being yesterday morning but have had no reply. Like I said I am due to phone her before I go away and don't know what to say.

 

People I have spoken to have told me to act all cool to keep her keen. Others have told me not to worry and to keep texting her now and again and when I ring to talk to her as if we are going out and everything is wonderful - but I don't know what to do! I am not into playing mind games but don't want to lose her. I feel that this phone call might be the only chance I have to keep her.

 

Am I just beeing paranoid or does it seem strange to you too?

[KittyCat]

Oh my gosh - I had a similar thing happen to me - read my post entitled "Great date, am I being paranoid?" just below this post.

 

I have no idea why you have great contact *several* times a day, have a great date, and then, poof, they're gone (I spent the night, too, but it was sooooo right). My friends have also told me to be cool, don't call him, wait a few days, he'll call, etc., etc., etc.

 

Our date was last Friday/Saturday. Today is Wednesday and the last time he called me was last Sunday afternoon (3 times!). I WISH I could help you! I thought it was only guys that didn't call. Thing is, HE was contacting me several times a day and suddenly stopped.

 

My head has this theory: Getting to know each other went too fast, and staying overnight wasn't a bad thing and it did confirm that there was a "connection". Having such a "connection" tends to freak some people out (I thought it effected more guys than girls, but you've confirmed it's girls, too). So, they want to back-off a little, regroup, and get some "space" and then they'll call again. At least I hope so!

[Baldy]

Hi KittyCat, just read your previous post 'Great date, am I being paranoid?' and you seem to be going through exactly the same thing as me, difference is I'm in the UK and you're in the US

 

I agree with what they all said in the replies to your post but I think some of them (Tony) were a little bit abrasive and harsh in their reply even though what they said did make sense.

 

Yeah sure obsessing does make people sound desperate etc, and you and I may need to play it cool a bit but what gets me, and from your post it was EXACTLY the same... they instigated the constant phone calls and texting etc and just like you it was everything from how my day went to what I was watching on TV! Yeah sure she/he may need to regroup, they could well be busy - but they shouldn't really go from one extreme to the other without saying anything!

 

I'm going on holiday for a two weeks today and even though she knows this and we arranged to speak last night on the phone (I just got the answer phone surprise surprise) I still haven't heard anything. I'm going to go on holiday and enjoy myself and forget about everything, and hopefully she may make contact by the time I get back!

 

She mentioned on our date that she needs to trust her partner and that she finds it hard too, she also mentioned that she is really romantic and wants a man who is to, so is this a test??? Should I be responding in some way? I can't be bothered with mind games they take to much energy, time and patience and if this is what it happening then I quit before the game has started.

 

Like you I analyse everything, it's part of my genetic makeup but I wish I was more like Tony on here who doesn't. He just gets on with life - you're not a Pisces by any chance are you KittyCat?

 

P.S. Hope it all goes well for you!

[KittyCat]

Hi Baldy,

 

No, I'm not a Pisces; I'm a Scorpio.

 

You're probably already out of town, so you may read this when you get back.

 

You said that obsessing does make people sound depserate. BUT, it's not like we're obsessing to the person we're obsessing over! For me, I obsess to family/friends/this board - that way, I can get it out w/out him knowing I'm obsessing. And I absolutely agree with you about going from TONS of calls from them to nilch. ugh. I just don't get it. Don't they miss the contact, too?

 

Did you leave a message on your answering machine when you tried to call before you left? I called my guy last Tuesday morning on his cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail. I look at it as a good thing, because at least he didn't see my number and choose not to answer. lol It's the little things, huh?

 

Your friend said that she likes romantic guys - sounds like you were romantic on your date. And she has no reason to NOT trust you. I just don't know. It's so puzzling and confusing for me. Maybe it's just that she sees that you are what she wants - and I'm what he wants - and it's right there for the taking, but now they're scared. LOL Who knows, right?

 

I've gotten lots of advice - from waiting until Saturday and calling to just leaving it alone to waiting until Monday and email. Just don't know what to do. I figured a guy could answer my questions for me, but it seems, girls do the same thing! I still think guys do it a lot more, though. lol Let me know how it goes with you. As for me, I'm pretty busy these days, so I don't have too much time to dwell on it, but I would like to reconnect with him. It would be such a shame to let this one slide...