I'm sick of my brother treating my mom like dirt

[Michelle_07]

Hiya, my names Shell,

 

I'm 18 and have a little sister whose 10 and a brother who is 14.

 

My mom is widowed and my brother really treats her like ****, he demands new clothes, shoes, caps, all well over £40 off her, refuses to go into school and my mom has been told if he has any more days off school she'll have to pay a fine.

If he doesn't get his own way he smashes windows, kicks doors threw and then he will kick and punch my mom, he calls her names that are too sickening to write.

 

It got that bad i had to move out into my boyfriends house, i really do not no what to do any more. It's effecting my little sister, he even threatens to kill my dog!

He has no male influence in his life but that is no excuse to treat your own mother who brought him into this world like that.

[quankanne]

sounds like it's time to hook the boy up with a psychologist who can recommend or do anger management classes with him ... because your brother is pretty much an out-of-control bully.

 

is there any sort of system that will help protect your mom against his abuse?

[BeautifulMystique]

You could suggest boarding school. That can help to straighten himself out. Are you from the UK? If you are, boarding schools over there are very good and boys usually come out well-disciplined. It helped my cousin who was a bully and spoiled.

[Trialbyfire]

I would definitely suggest to your mother that your brother go see a professional. If a professional can't help, there's always boot camp.

[Rachel_0814p]

He has no male influence in his life but that is no excuse to treat your own mother who brought him into this world like that.

 

You've heard the expression, "It takes a village." Well, in this type of situation, it takes an army. A single mother cannot manage this type of dire situation alone. But a group of adults working together to share your brother's anger, resentment and pain can.

 

Is there an adult male figure that could step in and help your mom take control? A capable grandfather or an uncle that he looks up to? A family friend or even the next door neighbor who can come by a couple of times a week to make sure things are getting back in line? It's very important for someone to step in IMMEDIATELY, as threatening to kill the family dog is a very serious sign of psychological trouble!! Once you've pinpointed someone to fill in this role, then your mother can enforce your brother going to counseling and your family can start making some progress.

 

But remember that your brother isn't the only one who needs help. Your mom needs some support, too. Your brother is developing a serious case of disrespect for women and she's losing control of him. Without some outside interference, she'll never be able to gain it back and things will escalate. If there's a male nearby that your mother could call on when your brother starts getting violent, it'd really help her feel more secure and confident. She also needs friends that she can relate to. Try to get your mom into a support group for single parents. Once your mom is on solid footing, everything else will fall into place. And I don't blame you moving out at all; you did the right thing for you. Stay out of the house until the sitation there is liveable again. But make sure you're just a phone call away in case your mom, or dog needs you.

 

BTW, can you get the dog out of the house, too for a while? The dog can't tell you when its being abused. If someone could take the dog for a little while, it'd lessen the strain of dealing with your brother because it'd be one less family member to worry about getting hurt.