My god we talked on the phone after five months NC. What do i do now!!!

[Donza]

Basically i saw my ex at my best friends wedding, and she looked so sad and dissapointed.

 

Basically i rang her yesterday to see how she was after i saw her at my best friends wedding.

 

I cant believe the feelings are still there. And the pain is also still there.

 

During our relationship, neither of us cheated. We just argued and then our stubborness got the better of us. We ended it and the breakup was very messy.

 

Basically she told me she missed me, and i did sense a lot of regret on her part.

 

We talked for a good 2.5 hours. At a few points i think she broke down over the phone.

 

I nearly broke down also.

 

I asked her whether she had met anyone, she said no. I told neither had i..

 

We joked, we laughed, we agreed and disagreed.

 

But it was still there. The atttraction, the electricity.

 

It was easy to talk to her...

 

I asked her if she wanted to see me. She said yes, but it was very difficult at the moment. She has family visitors from abroad whom she has to entertain.

 

But the weekend may be a good time to meet. Maybe for a drink or coffee she said..

 

She told me she thought i had finally grown a pair of balls and rang her.

 

How should i play it from this point onwards?

[sedgwick]

Just be exactly who you are. Be the best possible version of yourself. Before you meet her, do one thing that will make you feel really proud of yourself.

[thelegend]

If you want her back this is your chance. Try to remember the guy she fell in love with the first time yall got together because that is the man that she's looking for. Sounds like the fire will be rekindled. Good luck

[Art_Critic]

I think you need to figure out why it is that you called her and started this back up..

 

The problems that broke you both up will still exist so in order to go forward you both will have to remedy entirely those issues or the same breakup wil happen again.

 

By what you have posted she doesn't seem like she wants to start anything up.. Maybe she just wants to catch up.

It is meetings like these that a person will do just to see if they made the right decision.. and most of the time they find out they did.

 

I hope it works out for you.. just make sure of why you are starting this up again..

[Donza]

She has been kinda offish today.

 

Especially in the text messages.

 

Very short and to the point..

 

ah well...

[Art_Critic]

She may not have met anyone but you can bet your last dollar that she is dating someone right now or at least dating around..

 

Don't become the backup guy.. that never works out...

It sounds like you are falling into a backup guy lineup..

[Donza]

No she is dating no-one i know that for a fact.

 

Well i hope i do anyway..

 

Should i initiate NC?

[thelegend]

Never assume she's not dating someone else. Especially if she's being short with you. Maybe it's nothing but if she's not talking to you she's talking to someone. You can believe that.

[Art_Critic]

No she is dating no-one i know that for a fact.

 

You have had 5 months of NC..

If you are keeping that close of an eye and tracking her where abouts then I would think you have other issues to deal with than just relationship stuff.

 

Friends lie.. they will not tell you the truth to keep from hurting you...

 

I'm not saying for fact that she is dating someone but there is a reason for the sudden.. I'm busy and have family in.. then being short stuff..

 

Are you dating anyone ?.. Dating ?

[sad2day]

i am happy for you. i wish i could communicate with my ex. i think you need to try and not over think things. you seem to have survived the last five months. just try to enjoy the opportunity if it presents itself. there are peple she is and has been intertaining. that isn't always easy. as long as you have a grip on your emotions enjoy yourself. obviously she likes your confidence (her referencing you newly grown balls). show that side when you communicate/ see her. just be yourself and try to not over think it.

 

it won't be easy. that is one of my biggest fears if my ex and i ever get back together. if you two work things out you need to communicate with each other to not fall back into old habits. which is always a struggle. i think its possible.

 

i don't believe she is seeing someone. just my thoughts. remember some of us on here are just as confused and clouded in the things we say. it is an amazing support but altimately you know her better and check your gut. it will fill you in on what you don't want to see (hope that makes sense)

 

good luck. i am pulling for you.

[Donza]

Well we are in constant contact.

 

Still have not met due to schedule problems on both our parts

 

Whenever we talk on the phone, we always talk for a few hours or more.

 

Its very evident she misses me, and i miss her..

 

It seems she wants to take it very slow. Which is good..

 

If anything, i have realised how important it is to make the call.

 

NC is not always the right thing to do. It does help, and it does also help the individual realsie their faults.

 

But if you still want to try and remain friends or reignite thngs, just make the call.

 

What is so scary is that it seem we were never apart.

 

No contact for a day now. Which is good...

 

She is special, and despite trying to forget her. I have realised i do care so much for her, and maybe even still love her.

[niceirishfella]

Hi Donza,

 

This is all good. You could really find yourself very happy and i hope everything works out for you. I would say though to control your actions - you only get one chance so think about everything you do before you so it - maybe sit down and write it alldown on paper to ensure you are clear in your persuit of happiness.

 

don't unnessesarily put your heart out there to be broken - you dont want that to happen i can assure you - just take your time. I'll be worth it.

 

and the very best of luck to you

 

NIF