After 13 Years of no Communication - What to say?

[niceirishfella]

hi,

 

Well - heres the scenario and I hope you can help with suggestions. I want to make contact with my ex girlfriend from over 13 years ago to tell her some things in my heart that I never got to say to her. This is not in any way to discommode her existing relationship, but to aid me in a process of reconciliation of my life as i have been advised to do so. Basically, i want to meet her to say Goodbye forever and wish her well and get closure for me and my heart. Its been a long time - and i need to do this.

 

But, the question is - what to say to her. Like for instance. Should i call her up or email her?

And if i call her up and speak to her, how am I going to ask/persuade her to meet with me for a coffee or whatever - as she does not have to meet with me as she has someone else now and has a whole new life?

 

Has anyone got any tips/help/suggestions in this regard?

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks,

NIF.

[Tripper]

Write a hand written letter on nice stationary and mail it to her...

 

She can choose to read it or not but the main thing is for you to think it through as you write it and get it down on paper...

[Surfer Girl]

If there is someone else in her life.... and you want contact... make it a friends only e-mail... "Was looking thru the yearbook and thought about you and wondering how you are doing" Keep it simple....

[lovesparis]

if it will do more harm to her, hearing what you have to say, it is not worth it just to get what you feel off your chest.

[CD111]

I disagree, if you feel like you must communicate with her to get closure, I think you should. Writing a note is a good idea, I recently did that with my ex and feel a whole lot better about the situation and have put it past me. I don't think it really matters if she is with someone else. It's not like you are trying to get a date with her, all you want to do is talk for an hour and say good bye to get closure. Good luck with that

[niceirishfella]

Hi CD111,

 

Thanks for the support and thoughts. Hey, can i ask? Did you meet with your ex? or just write?

And if you met with your ex........how was it?

Its just, I'm really nervous about all of this and dont want to get blanked as this will hurt me.

Could you expand on your experience and pm me if you like to chat.

Thanks,

NIF

[CD111]

Irish guy, this is what I did. I wrote the letter first, numerous pages front and back. LOL He still works in the same town that I live in, so I met him. Not to discuss anything just to give him the letter. I was originally going to just leave it on his car; however, it was starting to rain so I gave him a call and asked if he could come outside (he was at work) and I just handed the letter to him, he took it and then I left. In your situation I don't recommend going to her work. So don't do it. If I were you I would just send it, or if you know where she lives drop it off in her mailbox.

 

In the letter, definitely write that you don't expect anything from her, nothing at all. All you want to do is let her know how you feel to get closure and move on. I guess it's sort of flattering in a way to find out a person has still been thinking about you 13 yrs later. I don't think she will freak out about it as long as you don't make it seem like you want to get together with her or want/are expecting anything from her. Good Luck, give an update on how it goes.

[niceirishfella]

Hi CD111,

Appreciate the advice. I've sent n email to her sis to get her details as i dont know here she lives of works no more - but when i do have her address.......I'm going to write to her.

 

i'm excited yet.......nervous.......but its osmething i must do to move on. I will update you.

thanks.

NIF