smileysmile Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 To you dumpers who wanted yoyr marriage/relationship to work so bad, that you gave your spouse so many chances to change his behaviour and that he was hurting this relationship...you as the dumper could not take it anymore but this just didn't come out of thin air. You finally got to that last hurdle and found that courage to end the relationship. But now with a 12 mth old baby and living in separate homes from your estranged spouse who you now loathe/hate for putting you in the position you are in. He hurt you. And you are still angry with him after 3 mths. Is there anybody in this stage? You left them because of there behaviour and not because you fell out of love or any other reason but his "emotional issues", "moodiness" etc. So if you are the dumper of a spouse who reminds you of this do you ever get past these emotions towards your ex spouse and maybe you have forgiven him and made bridges back? You have to heal and forgive before you can ever think of making up? Right? Or once you have severed ties there is no going back? My estranged wife has the habit of when she finishes something she never goes back. Thats it? She gave me so many chances to sort myself out. Though we have a baby together and that connection will always be there. Its a steep hill to climb and an endurance test for me if I want bridge that gap and be there for her and maybe someday there will be some hope if she can see the changes in me. Maybe she is so stubborn and proud she will never ever believe that I can change and just think my issues are inbred in me. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 I dumped someone because I had reached my limit. I loved him very much and was still in love with him, and he loved me as well, but I couldn't be with him anymore. Once that last straw was reached, there is no going back. I gave him plenty of opportunity to make things work, I was very honest in communicating with him, but he couldn't get over himself enough to be a guy worth my time. I will never go back to him, no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
YeahBaby Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 My boyfriend had issues with drink and drugs, and when I suggested we stop the relationship for a while, he seemed to get it together and changed his behaviour and is now healthy. We have started to speak and see each other again, and I am still deeply, deeply in love with him. I never stopped loving him, and I have every intention now that we are both healthy and happy that we will get back together and look forward to a happy future together. Link to post Share on other sites
Rowen Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 My boyfriend had issues with drink and drugs, and when I suggested we stop the relationship for a while, he seemed to get it together and changed his behaviour and is now healthy. We have started to speak and see each other again, and I am still deeply, deeply in love with him. I never stopped loving him, and I have every intention now that we are both healthy and happy that we will get back together and look forward to a happy future together. I hope my ex is thinking this way too. Link to post Share on other sites
sandra Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I we've had our ups and downs, mostly downs. We're incompatible if you will, but love each other very much. Deep inside I know that my family and friends and relative would never have approved us getting married. After a big argument, I broke up with him. This is not the first time I broke up with him. We break up and make up a few days later. However, this time, When I asked him if we can talk about it and work on it the refused. He was so adamant about his decision, i couldn't beileve it. I tried everything I could to try and get him to give me a second chance. He totally refused. During our now 2 weeks break up, I've realized all the things I could have done differently with him. I saw my flaws. I told him that and that I'll make him happy if he can only give me atleast a week to show him that I can really make it work. He didn't even want to talk to me. Finally, I changed my strategy and started saying okay, I can respect his decision but that I still want him in my life atleast as a friend. He really wanted no contact atleast for a little while. But, I figured if I get out of his life now, then he'll never want me back. So, the other day, I asked him if he can bring me some advil because I wasn't feeling well( I just wanted to see him). He came around and we talked, he said that he's deeply affected about all of this but that it had to be done....... that I deserve someone who'll make me happy, somebody stable and blah blah. I wanted to say, I don't care if you're a bum on the street, I still want to be with you. But I held off because that kinda talk seems to drive him away. BUt, before he left, I invited him to a football game I had bought tickets for. He was like "sure thing"! I'm probably setting myself up, he probably doesn't care about me anymore but I just needed him to remember one last great time we spent toghether. Can anybody give me any suggestion. I think I'm desparate at this point Link to post Share on other sites
sandra Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Sorry, posted in the wrong thread Link to post Share on other sites
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