Are we a generation of women who can't choose!

[hellogoodbye]

“I thought about choices. Since birth, modern women have been told they can do and be anything we want – be an astronaut, be a head of a company, a stay-at-home mom. There aren’t any rules anymore. And the choices are endless. And apparently they can all be delivered right to your door. But is it possible that we’ve gotten so spoiled by choices that we’ve become unable to make one? That a part of us knows that once you choose something, one man, one grade of carpet, one amazing job, another option goes away. Are we a generation of women who can’t choose just one from column A? Did we all have too much to handle? Or was Samantha right? Can we have it all?”

 

I heard this on sex and the city! and it really stuck in my mind...so do we have an overload of options. if maybe we only had 2 men to pick from our entire lives will we all take what we get and be happy living in the naive that this is the best?

 

Are we looking for the ONE if so,,,what about " there is always something better"

 

hmm

[halfarock]

I’m a guy but I see it pretty much the same way. It seems that you have lots of choices it becomes harder, even unnecessary to choose.

[burning 4 revenge]

Samantha was right in that its defintiely a woman's world these days........as long as you're hot.............

[spooty]

i'm not too plagued by choices, because i don't see life as endless ready made options. i see my choices as strategy in my life, i should probably explain this better.

when there are choices in front of you there is always a best choice, and an easy choice, and a difficult choice.... sometimes they overlap. but choices happen in sequence and lead to others, so you have to decide early, and if you can't decide then you have to make choices that give you the ability to decide later. choice is all about self-confidence, and knowing what you want and going after it, not seeing what you want and trying to get it.

if we could all just choose to be wealthy and loved we would, but it more than one choice to be successful and it's more than "picking" one guy that will make you loved.

 

say you're interested in science... you have the choice to be a doctor, a researcher, and engineer, the hardest part of the choice is knowing yourself and knowing what if best for you and those you care about.

 

as far as men go, i don't look for "something better" because to me that doesn't exist. what's "better" to me is a long term relationship where my guy knows me and we get along and we've grown together. i made the choice to stop looking for "what's better" and chose to make what i had better.

i think this is something that a lot of people miss, they see flaws in one person and leave them for someone else whose flaws are yet undiscovered. so your boyfriend doesn't give you as much affection as that new guy at work, but was that new guy there to comfort you when your dog died, or there to help you when your car broke down?

a relationship is more about what you choose to make it, not who you choose to be with. you can choose a nice guy and treat him bad then he won't seem like such a nice guy!

[Trialbyfire]

Choice is the best thing to happen to women. The choice to be whatever you want to be, to drive yourself as hard and far as you want, in your life.

 

The flip side of this is that people overestimate their own abilities to handle...everything. For example, the superwoman syndrome, where a career woman wants also to be the perfect mother, in perfect shape for her husband and responsible for taking care of her husband/home. She expends 300% for everyone else and leaves herself exhausted. Don't be this woman. You're a fool if you are.

 

If you want a career, make certain your partner is someone who's willing to take up his portion of the domestic duties and isn't the overly selfish type. If you can afford it, bring in domestic help, so you and your marriage aren't stressed beyond reason.

 

As for choosing a lifemate, you decide what you're willing to settle for, but trying to conform your man to your needs, seems to be a recipe for disaster. Better to find someone who shares the same core values and direction in life, nice guy or not.

 

Just be realistic in your choice and more importantly, be realistic in who you are and what you bring to the table. You cannot demand integrity from your partner, if you have none.

[Carbine]

If it's a woman's world then it's a very sad state of affairs we're in.

 

Generally speaking, women simply don't have the capability or skills required to handle that much power. Sure we can have it all, and we do. And my, aren't we a happy, stable and content bunch?? *Sarcasm*. Give me a man's world any day...

[hellogoodbye]

interesting responses.

 

I do not agree however that women are ot capable of anything a man is!

 

GIRL POWER !

[get.mos]

interesting topic.

 

i'm of the school that i can't do it all. and that's because i don't want to.

 

"feminism," and i hate to put that word in quotes, however, society tends to demonize any work that ends in -ism or -ist, and i don't care to demonize it, is wonderful in the sense that women should not be made to feel bad because we want to do this or that. however, i think some people have taken it too far, and now there are some ramifications surfacing because of it. e.g., two income families with kids have difficulting balancing parenting. in place is tv, processed foods, and ? and too much processed foods can lead to bad decisions regarding what to eat. too much tv = ? blah blah blah. please don't think me anti-feminist; i'm definitely not. i work full time doing work society thinks men should generally do ("women aren't smart enough to do that..."). i exercise on a regular basis (shouldn't women just get soft and pudgy as we age, while men just age gracefully?).

 

going back to not wanting to do everything, my viewpoint stems from the fact that i want to have a simpler life as i get older. i don't want things to get more complicated. so, yes, women can have it all; doesn't mean it's a great idea.

[Lovegod]

Uh oh, here comes a man's perspective!

 

But is it possible that we’ve gotten so spoiled by choices that we’ve become unable to make one?

 

I don't see it that way at all. I see indecision as a female trait. From what I've seen, women make decisions based on how they feel. Most times when a woman is presented with multiple choices and doesn't "feel" strongly about any of them, it's very difficult to choose. It's also the same way if she "feels" strongly about ALL of her choices.

 

That's what men are fantastic for. They will look at the decisions, analyze them, and make the logical choice.

 

For the guys out there, have you ever been around a group of women trying to make plans for an event or evening? It's the most frustrating and complicated thing you will ever see. Women would be great at flowcharting!

 

This is one of the biggest reasons why I emphasize men to make the decisions for dates. They should have the location, place, date, and time figured out before inviting her out. If she has any strong negative feelings about the event you've planned, she'll let you know.

[Haner]

Uh oh, here comes a man's perspective!

 

 

 

I don't see it that way at all. I see indecision as a female trait. From what I've seen, women make decisions based on how they feel. Most times when a woman is presented with multiple choices and doesn't "feel" strongly about any of them, it's very difficult to choose. It's also the same way if she "feels" strongly about ALL of her choices.

 

That's what men are fantastic for. They will look at the decisions, analyze them, and make the logical choice.

 

For the guys out there, have you ever been around a group of women trying to make plans for an event or evening? It's the most frustrating and complicated thing you will ever see. Women would be great at flowcharting!

 

This is one of the biggest reasons why I emphasize men to make the decisions for dates. They should have the location, place, date, and time figured out before inviting her out. If she has any strong negative feelings about the event you've planned, she'll let you know.

Way too many generalizations here. Where I went to school and worked, there were plenty of indecisive men too. Men are just less vocal about it. Engagement is a good example of where men can be indecisive as hell. Plenty of female LSers here still waiting for their ring who can testify to that. However, when forced with a deadline, men do end up making a decision, though this decision might not be the most brilliant.

[sb129]

There is now a backlash against those women who thought they could "have it all".

 

Many of those who waited until their careers were established are now spending a fortune trying to get pregnant, or their kids are in therapy because mom and dad never spent enough time with them while they were growing up.

[Rooster_DAR]

Are we a generation who can't choose?

 

Well, yes and no...I'm not sure.

[Trialbyfire]

There is now a backlash against those women who thought they could "have it all".

 

Many of those who waited until their careers were established are now spending a fortune trying to get pregnant, or their kids are in therapy because mom and dad never spent enough time with them while they were growing up.

sb, I will have it all one day but I'm not stupid enough to believe I can do it by myself.

 

There's always hired help.

[sb129]

sb, I will have it all one day but I'm not stupid enough to believe I can do it by myself.

 

There's always hired help.

 

 

True, true. Hired help can be expensive though, and I wouldn't want someone else seeing my kids more than I do!

Personally, I am happy to put my career on the backburner while I have kids though, I don't want to wait too long and then spend a fortune on IVF.

 

Luckily I chose the kind of career where you can do that.

Its not really a career.... more of a job I turn up to so I get paid.

[Lovegod]

Where I went to school and worked, there were plenty of indecisive men too.

 

And that's a problem. Put a woman and a man together who cannot make decisions, and they will go nowhere.

 

Now, you may ask why I pick on the man? Because women respond positively to men who are NOT indecisive; the men who know where they want to go and what they want to do.

 

Way too many generalizations here.

 

Care to give a reason why? I didn't think so.

 

Engagement is a good example of where men can be indecisive as hell. Plenty of female LSers here still waiting for their ring who can testify to that.

 

Did you ever think that the men in these situations really aren't that interested in marriage? Just because the woman wants an engagement ring, it doesn't mean he HAS to propose.