Do girls really like the nice guy or the jerk?

[Rise Against]

I really want to know, do girls like nice guys or the jerk?? From my perspective, and others, I find myself being the nice guy and also "good-looking" , but i never seem to find any girls interested in me. Usually the girsl would come chat with me and such but I have never dated one before. I usually see all the girls interested in the complete jerk at school.

 

Thanks

[CaliGuy]

I really want to know, do girls like nice guys or the jerk?? From my perspective, and others, I find myself being the nice guy and also "good-looking" , but i never seem to find any girls interested in me. Usually the girsl would come chat with me and such but I have never dated one before. I usually see all the girls interested in the complete jerk at school.

 

Thanks

 

They're not attracted to either in the long haul. What attracts them to jerks is the "false sense of self confidence" they exude. In other words, they act like they are confident but deep down they are not. Nice guys (door mats) do not appear confident and as such, are not inherently attractive to women - short or long haul.

 

What women really want are confident, balanced men. Not door mats, not jerks but somewhere in between. Good, confident men. Strive to be one NOT to meet women but to better yourself.

 

Women will come eventually as they will be attracted to your new sense of self confidence.

[Pedigree]

Strive to be one NOT to meet women but to better yourself.

 

This is definitely the most important thing.

[samsungxoxo]

In between, not total doormats that you can walk all over nor show-off.

[lindya]

I really want to know, do girls like nice guys or the jerk?? From my perspective, and others, I find myself being the nice guy and also "good-looking" , but i never seem to find any girls interested in me. Usually the girsl would come chat with me and such but I have never dated one before. I usually see all the girls interested in the complete jerk at school.

 

Thanks

 

It often seems to me that men are far more impressed by other men who are jerks than women are. If those other men prefer the jerk to validate a woman before they personally will take/admit to taking an interest in her, then naturally women will seek the jerk's attention and approval. I seriously think that in a lot of cases that's all it is. Probably best to think less about what the jerk is doing, and more about finding an approach (with girls) that suits your personality.

[Cobra_X30]

I really want to know, do girls like nice guys or the jerk?? From my perspective, and others, I find myself being the nice guy and also "good-looking" , but i never seem to find any girls interested in me. Usually the girsl would come chat with me and such but I have never dated one before. I usually see all the girls interested in the complete jerk at school.

 

Thanks

 

Learn to be the jerk! Works every time!

[Trialbyfire]

It often seems to me that men are far more impressed by other men who are jerks than women are. If those other men prefer the jerk to validate a woman before they personally will take/admit to taking an interest in her, then naturally women will seek the jerk's attention and approval. I seriously think that in a lot of cases that's all it is. Probably best to think less about what the jerk is doing, and more about finding an approach (with girls) that suits your personality.

There's a duo mindset associated to the arsehole guy and the doormat woman. It's a codependency. He abuses her emotionally and she hangs onto him because if she tries more, maybe, just maybe, he might learn to love her.

 

This type of interaction makes me shudder.

[desertguy]

There's lots of different kind of guys, most probably fall somewhere in the middle, but for simplicity, there are 3 main types.

 

1.) The classic "nice guy". Always trying to bend over backwards for a girl, a people pleaser, afraid to say the "wrong" things, basically a spineless doormat. Most of these guys, far from being nice are actually passive aggressive, and manipulative. They feel the need for women to give them a sense of validation. They often bore women to tears, but are often "best buds" of women and are permament inhabitants of the "friend zone"

 

2.) The arrogant jerk. While not much long term relationship material, they actually keep women awake, and aren't afraid to take chances, and actually are confident, but huge egomaniacs. They can be just as manipulative as the nice guy, but at least they aren't boring.

 

3.) What I call the "good guy". These guys are in the middle, but not just splitting the difference, more like "triangulating", taking the best qualities of both. These guys to put it bluntly, have their sh*t together. They have a life, have outside interests, don't revolve their lives around a relationship, treat people well, are a gentlemen, have natural confidence, but aren't afraid to speak their mind or take a chance either. They validate themselves by how they live their life, not by other's opinions of them. They are genuinely kind and considerate, without trying to manipulate or curry favor, and are usually pretty self aware. This is the kind of guy who is actually the most attractive to most women it seems.

[CaliGuy]

There's a duo mindset associated to the arsehole guy and the doormat woman. It's a codependency. He abuses her emotionally and she hangs onto him because if she tries more, maybe, just maybe, he might learn to love her.

 

This type of interaction makes me shudder.

 

Or that she might change him.

 

[CaliGuy]

There's lots of different kind of guys, most probably fall somewhere in the middle, but for simplicity, there are 3 main types.

 

1.) The classic "nice guy". Always trying to bend over backwards for a girl, a people pleaser, afraid to say the "wrong" things, basically a spineless doormat. Most of these guys, far from being nice are actually passive aggressive, and manipulative. They feel the need for women to give them a sense of validation. They often bore women to tears, but are often "best buds" of women and are permament inhabitants of the "friend zone"

 

2.) The arrogant jerk. While not much long term relationship material, they actually keep women awake, and aren't afraid to take chances, and actually are confident, but huge egomaniacs. They can be just as manipulative as the nice guy, but at least they aren't boring.

 

3.) What I call the "good guy". These guys are in the middle, but not just splitting the difference, more like "triangulating", taking the best qualities of both. These guys to put it bluntly, have their sh*t together. They have a life, have outside interests, don't revolve their lives around a relationship, treat people well, are a gentlemen, have natural confidence, but aren't afraid to speak their mind or take a chance either. They validate themselves by how they live their life, not by other's opinions of them. They are genuinely kind and considerate, without trying to manipulate or curry favor, and are usually pretty self aware. This is the kind of guy who is actually the most attractive to most women it seems.

 

 

If you didn't copy this out of "No More Mr. Nice Guy" or from "David De Angelo", good work. That's exactly right.

[sally4sara]

Personally, I like the guy everyone thinks would be an a$$, but actually is quite honorable. But thats just for the pure enjoyment of watching people's reaction when they see him turn to soup in your presence.

Its the honorable guy that gets my attention.

[Meaplus3]

I really want to know, do girls like nice guys or the jerk?? From my perspective, and others, I find myself being the nice guy and also "good-looking" , but i never seem to find any girls interested in me. Usually the girsl would come chat with me and such but I have never dated one before. I usually see all the girls interested in the complete jerk at school.

 

Thanks

 

I much prefer the Nice guy, however he actually has to be a Nice guy if you know what I'm saying! Ive known to many jerk's and they are so not worth it!

 

AP:)

[latinaDulce]

I really want to know, do girls like nice guys or the jerk?? From my perspective, and others, I find myself being the nice guy and also "good-looking" , but i never seem to find any girls interested in me. Usually the girsl would come chat with me and such but I have never dated one before. I usually see all the girls interested in the complete jerk at school.

 

Thanks

 

Mm I would necessarily say that girls like the jerks, it's just the tend to stand out, since they seem to give off the " I don't care attitude" therefore perhaps giving us women, the thought that we will know what he's thinking, since the won't be shy. (I hope that makes sense:confused:)

[Blue Eyed Brain]

Women love attention and if a jerk gives it to us and displays affection to us, we're in.

 

Usually, nice guys will ponder and be friends with us first and that confuses us into thinking "he only likes me as a friend." And, hence, the relationship never blossoms to more than a fustrated friendship.

[get.mos]

this is similar to the other thread about guys liking nice gals. and i think my comment applies to both, but i'll just post here.

 

when someone isn't nice, they're really not ready to be in a relationship. relationships are about love, friendship, trust, and, dare i say, a soul connection, should you choose to believe one such thought could be a possibility. individuals, whether they are guys or gals, who are not nice but choose to get in a "relationship" do so to gain control or power. now, why that is a goal can only be answered by the individual who isn't nice, however, sociologists could probably analyze the root cause to be some due to some socioeconomic upbringing.

 

interestingly, i believe anyone looking for the not nice guy or gal is also not ready to be in a relationship, lest they want to add to their chains of misery. this kind of behavior is indicative of individuals who do not love themselves. and without self love, how can one give love to another and welcome love in return?