JW Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 I'm sort of interested in this guy. While we were talking on the phone the other night I ended up mentioning to him that my ex-boyfriend called me a couple weeks ago wanting to get back together. I also told him we broke up 8 months ago. I wasn't intending on disclosing this information but he asked me a question and I could not avoid it. I made sure to point out that I am no longer interested in my ex and will not be returning to that relationship. I'm a little concerned that I should not have told this guy anything. I'm wondering if this will make the new guy skeptical about getting to know me better since my ex is trying to stick his head in the picture again. Would a guy back off under these circumstances? Should I be concerned about this or am I worrying for nothing? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 YOU ASK: 1. "Would a guy back off under these circumstances?" You betcha. No guy wants to start dating a lady who's ex is trying to edge himself back into the picture. An ex almost always has the edge if the break up was pleasant. 2. "Should I be concerned about this or am I worrying for nothing?" No need to be concerned. The damage, if there is any, has been done. The next time you start spouting off about your life, ask yourself how YOU would feel if YOU were receiving this information. In other words, if this guy told you he had gotten a call from his ex, who wanted to get back together, how would YOU feel? I don't think you would be just chomping at the bit to get heartbroken. My question would be just why you gave me this information if you were interested in me. To mention something like that is more discouragement than encouragement. Oh well, let's see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 I don't think you should be worrying about this. Even if your disclosure has caused the new guy a little anxiety about whether or not you are free, I think it will pass. Just be sure to keep letting your new guy know that he's important (in whatever little ways you can). And don't mention the old guy again unless he brings it up. and if he does bring it up be sure to dismiss the old guy quickly and briefly and say, "I'd rather talk about you." Now, for some honesty on your part. Did you mention the old flame to your new interest to try to cause him ittle bit of jealousy, to let him know that you were of value to other guys. If so, I wouldn't take that path again. Look what insecurities it has brought you. If I'm wrong then please excuse the assumption. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
cozmonort Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 Sounds to me that you did nothing wrong and Tny is being way to harsh theres nothing wrong with replying to a quiestion he made the mistake by asking in the first place, men should make it a rule of thumb not to ask girls about previous relationships unless it effect theres. He probably run out of things to say and that was the first thing that came to mind (probably because his interested in you) and if he does back of I personally think it's because his shy (not because his no longer interested) - coz Link to post Share on other sites
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