zoecharlene Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Okay, now I hope I don't sound to jealous but I really need advice about this situation. My boyfriend just recently started talking to his ex regarding his child. I have no kids and it's extremely hard for me to deal with this. I told him from the very beginning that it was hard for me. I'm happy for his communication with his ex for his child's sake, but he hasn't even been able to see his child. He's telling me his ex is calling him because his child is having to go through medical care right now. Well, yes I feel they have every right to be conversing about their child. My problem is I don't know if they are talking about other things as well. Like for instance the last time we got in a big fight and broke up he told her what was going on. Okay that's fine. He needed to talk to someone. Well what if he's talking to her about our relationship now? Or what if he's talking to her about his job? Or about his hopes and aspirations regarding his career? How do I deal with this, has anyone gone through this? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 If you don't trust your husband, there's no magical way we can help you. You're going to have to talk this over with him and express your concerns. Tell him you don't mind him talking about the kid with his ex but all other topics, especially his relationship with you, should be off limits. Then you just have to trust him. And you've got to stop screwing your mind up with "what if's." The absolute worst thing that can happen is he can go back to his ex wife but you knew that was a worst case scenario when you married him. When you asked "what if?" then, what was your answer to yourself? What if there was peace and love throughout the world everyday of the year??? If you must "what if", do it about positive stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zoecharlene Posted May 30, 2003 Author Share Posted May 30, 2003 Well Tony, thanks for the advice. I will bring this up to him, and that's right I will need to do that... trust. I'm very optimistic in general, so racking my brain on guesses are not healthy. I'm definitely going to tell him how I don't feel comfortable with him talking to her about more then their child. By the way he's my boyfriend for a steady year. We're not married. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 having a baby is a very strong bond between two people, and i believe that trust is good, but u still need to keep an eye on this. if i were you, i'd want to be introduced both to the ex and the baby. i wouldn't want him discussing your r/s, but i would want him to tell her that he's in a steady r/s with you, etc. that;'s my view! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 I don't have any contact with my ex and we have a child together. He see's my daughter when I am not present (not that he has seen her in nearly a year). You break up with people for a reason. I don't share my relationship with my ex and my partner doesn't share our relationship with his ex's (no kids involved). But Tony is right, they are all what if's at the moment. You need to find out what is going on without coming across in a blaming tone or discussion Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts