Is it wrong to seek sexual satisfaction ?

[jtbutcher]

Hi, thanks for reading this.

 

My wife and i have been together for 24 years. We got married after we discovered she was pregnant.

 

Right after our first daughter was born, the problems began. It turns out that my wife has serious psychological problems. The past 24 years have been difficult, and we now have a sexless marrige. Mywife has no interest in sex,partially due to the medications she must take on a dialy basis. She also sleeps at every opportunity. I've tried to discuss this with her,but she dosent seem to care, and just ignores the subject.

 

To make a long story short, I dont want a divorce at this point in my life, but I dont feel I should be deprived of sexual intimacy forever.

 

It it wrong morally in this situation to seek sexual satisfaction and intimacy elsewhere ? The only other answer seems to be celibacy, which is not a very attractive option for me.

 

Thanks for your responses:)

[whichwayisup]

yes, it is wrong to stay married and seek sexual satisfaction/intimacy elsewhere.

 

Watch porn, masterbate, enjoy fantasies if you don't want to divorce right now, just don't go and cheat on her.

 

What you can do though is, tell her how you feel, communicate your needs, suggest counselling for both of you. To go together and apart, if she is depressed and has health issues, is sleeping most of the time, well, that ain't much of a marriage, let alone a life! She is miserable, you are miserable, so either fix the marriage, give it your best shot or end it. OR, let her know you want to have an open marriage, see how she responds to that. Never know, maybe she'll say yes and then you can be with other women and be able to not get divorced...Though, I doubt very much she'll agree to it.

 

She needs to hear the truth, so talk to your wife. Let her decide, it's her marriage too, not just yours.

[Scrivdog]

If you don't want a mistress and you don't want to divorce - then it's call girls and massage parlors.

 

That said, if your only child is 24 - what's the big issue with divorce? I'm sure you can divorce or separate and still take care of her financially and make sure she's ok - right?

 

Hi, thanks for reading this.

 

My wife and i have been together for 24 years. We got married after we discovered she was pregnant.

 

Right after our first daughter was born, the problems began. It turns out that my wife has serious psychological problems. The past 24 years have been difficult, and we now have a sexless marrige. Mywife has no interest in sex,partially due to the medications she must take on a dialy basis. She also sleeps at every opportunity. I've tried to discuss this with her,but she dosent seem to care, and just ignores the subject.

 

To make a long story short, I dont want a divorce at this point in my life, but I dont feel I should be deprived of sexual intimacy forever.

 

It it wrong morally in this situation to seek sexual satisfaction and intimacy elsewhere ? The only other answer seems to be celibacy, which is not a very attractive option for me.

 

Thanks for your responses:)

[BettyBoop]

Mywife has no interest in sex,partially due to the medications she must take on a dialy basis. She also sleeps at every opportunity. I've tried to discuss this with her,but she dosent seem to care, and just ignores the subject.

 

To make a long story short, I dont want a divorce at this point in my life, but I dont feel I should be deprived of sexual intimacy forever.

 

It it wrong morally in this situation to seek sexual satisfaction and intimacy elsewhere ?

 

What kind of situation does your wife have? Is it medication that makes her feel ill and sleepy in general? Have you two discussed it with a doctor for any alternative medication? Since you haven't said what kind of problems she has, we can only assume. Is she against intimacy like hugs, kisses and does she say "I love you" at all? If she doesn't...then it really isn't a marriage here.

 

Don't stay with someone just because you "don't want to get divorced". You didn't mention once that you loved your wife. If you only stay with her because of the fear of being divorced and single...then that is no reason to stay. (Neither if you're a christian and thinks "God doesn't want me to get divorced"...God doesn't want you to be miserable, either.)

 

You need to sit down with your W and tell her "I need sexual intimacy in order to feel happy in this marriage. The situation we have is not working out and either we agree on an open marriage or I need a divorce."

 

To answer the last question, YES it is morally wrong. Don't cheat on your wife, she doesn't deserve that.

 

Best of luck!

[get.mos]

Hi, thanks for reading this.

 

My wife and i have been together for 24 years. We got married after we discovered she was pregnant.

 

To make a long story short, I dont want a divorce at this point in my life, but I dont feel I should be deprived of sexual intimacy forever.

 

It it wrong morally in this situation to seek sexual satisfaction and intimacy elsewhere ?

 

sorry, but i'm pretty blunt in my communication. to get married because you're pregnant is ridiculous. sorry. when does that ever work?

 

not wanting to divorce: is this for fear of change? because you're concerned of losing that which has made you comfortable? is it a financial aspect of alimony?

 

to seek sexual satisfaction outside of the marriage would be acceptable if both of you are aware of it. who knows - she may be ok with it, since she's not willing to share her body anymore.

i once "met" someone on another online sandbox, who proudly stated that she chose to be celibate. i've often wanted to ask her if her husband chose to be that way too.

remember marriage is between two individuals. if the rules of the relationship are going to change, make sure all the players know how.