patientlywaiting Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 I have been dating the same guy for over 3 years (plus a couple years a long time ago--we've known each other for more than 10 years) and I have been living with him for almost 3 years. I read something in a book recently that really freaked me out--that if a guy doesn't ask you to marry him within 2-3 years he never will. I freaked myself out even more by reading stories about women dating a guy for years and suddenly, he wanted to give the relationship up cold turkey. There are factors in our lives that may be making things take longer, such as financial, but when we talk about marriage I'm the only one who casually brings it up and whenever he talks about it, I don't seem to be in his plans. Anyway, I wanted to talk to him about it more seriously, but I am afraid of ruining it by seeming like I'm giving him some sort of ultimatum or if he does end up asking me I'm gonna feel like he only did because I brought it up. I'm getting to the age where I need to start thinking about settling down and having children (i want to be engaged for a while before marriage) and I'm getting too old to "dick around". I just want to be with him forever--I'm crazy about him. But I have to be practical, I mean, if he's just going to eventually leave me and my clocks ticking, what am I doing here? What do you all think? Should I stay or should I go? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Start talking about getting your own place. (And mean it!) His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author patientlywaiting Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 I've done that already actually, a long time ago. I was going to move about 8 hours away for a job. He convinced me to stay local and we moved in together (about 3 years ago). Things were going so good and so fast, maybe even too fast, back then but now they've hit a speed bump. I just don't know what that bump is. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 You have to talk to him about this. Just speak from your heart and let him know that you love him and want a future with him. If he doesn't want that, it's best to know now so you can end it and find someone else to settle down with and have a family. Don't let worry's and fears prevent you from talking to him! Also, don't assume from what you've read in books or somewhere else is going to happen to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts