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made a big mistake tonight


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My gf and I have been dating for a 2 and 1/2 years. Because of past relationships I've always been on the edge as previous gf's have gotten way to close to the ex's. My gf's does have alot of guy friends, she wanted to remain friends to two previous ex's aswell. Anyways, I blew it big today.

 

She has this guy friend that I've never been to keen on, the 5-6 times I've met him he didn't seem all that thrilled about talking to me, just interested in my gf. So tonight was was going to this party, something to do with and old work. She called me about 8hrs later and asks if I could pick her up because she's had too much to drink. She wasn't at the party though, she got a ride over to this guys house, where she spent an hr or two with him and a few of his roommates. I was pretty upset about the situation and made it known to her when I picked her up. I was rude to her friend, didn't shake his hand, ignored him basically, and when we got in the car I told her how upset the situation made me. Was it wrong that after the party and drinking too much she went to this guys house?? Basically she called me jealous, said she felt like she wasn't aloud to hang out with her friends, and told me where to go. Big fight.

My gf in the past has sometimes threated breakups, she's threatened to move out, stuff like that although she's addmitted as well she says that to try and hurt me. Same stuff was said tonight, but I've honestly never seen her so mad.

Is there anything I can do? Have I really messed up? Was I truely in the wrong for being upset?

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No, you aren't wrong. Your Gf is pushing your buttons, acting disrespectful and blaming you for it.

 

You didn't blow it, she did. Your girlfriend is what's called an "Attention Whore". She has many guy friends (all who want to hook up with her) and likes keeping in touch with her ex's. (Why are they EX's?) She uses all this male attention to make herself feel valuable and pretty. She likes making you jealous because it makes her feel wanted.

 

(Notice the pattern? It's all about how SHE feels, not how anyone else feels.)

 

Personally, I think you can do better. You may want to cut this bratty child loose and find some one who has less drama.

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IMO you didn't do anything wrong.

 

My gf in the past has sometimes threated breakups, she's threatened to move out, stuff like that although she's addmitted as well she says that to try and hurt me.

 

You shouldn't put up with that! If she says stuff like that then tell her where to go too!

No offense but you're only going to have this happen repeatedly with this type of girl, especially if you let her pin it on you as if you've done the wrong thing. I know 'em very well.

She has many more male friends than female ones right? There's a reason all these guys are friends of hers :cool:

 

No, you aren't wrong. Your Gf is pushing your buttons, acting disrespectful and blaming you for it.

 

You didn't blow it, she did. Your girlfriend is what's called an "Attention Whore". She has many guy friends (all who want to hook up with her) and likes keeping in touch with her ex's. (Why are they EX's?) She uses all this male attention to make herself feel valuable and pretty. She likes making you jealous because it makes her feel wanted.

 

(Notice the pattern? It's all about how SHE feels, not how anyone else feels.)

 

Personally, I think you can do better. You may want to cut this bratty child loose and find some one who has less drama.

 

Totally agree with what is above!

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My gf and I have been dating for a 2 and 1/2 years. Because of past relationships I've always been on the edge as previous gf's have gotten way to close to the ex's. My gf's does have alot of guy friends, she wanted to remain friends to two previous ex's aswell. Anyways, I blew it big today.

 

She has this guy friend that I've never been to keen on, the 5-6 times I've met him he didn't seem all that thrilled about talking to me, just interested in my gf. So tonight was was going to this party, something to do with and old work. She called me about 8hrs later and asks if I could pick her up because she's had too much to drink. She wasn't at the party though, she got a ride over to this guys house, where she spent an hr or two with him and a few of his roommates. I was pretty upset about the situation and made it known to her when I picked her up. I was rude to her friend, didn't shake his hand, ignored him basically, and when we got in the car I told her how upset the situation made me. Was it wrong that after the party and drinking too much she went to this guys house??

 

Nope....what the hell is she doing partying and going to other guy's houses in the first place? That is what single, uncommitted people do. That is not acceptable behavior when committed to someone.

 

You do not have the right to tell her what to do, what you do have the right to do is see the red flags and dump anyone who doesn't give a crap about your feelings.

 

Basically she called me jealous, said she felt like she wasn't aloud to hang out with her friends, and told me where to go. Big fight.

My gf in the past has sometimes threated breakups, she's threatened to move out, stuff like that although she's addmitted as well she says that to try and hurt me. Same stuff was said tonight, but I've honestly never seen her so mad.

Is there anything I can do? Have I really messed up? Was I truely in the wrong for being upset?

 

Yes, there is something you can do...dump her...sounds like she is too into partying and male friends to be anyone's girlfriend right now.

 

No, you are not wrong for being upset. Ask yourself...what is the point of going out and partying and getting drunk...is it to have meaningful conversations with someone? It could be if the "drunk" part were ommitted.

 

Something stinks and you are justified in feeling the way you do. And it sounds as if she has WAY too many guy friends. That in combination with partying and getting drunk while alone with them when you are not around is bad news.

 

Find yourself a decent girl...dump this one.

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Things have calmed down alot since Sunday, she admitted alot of her talk was the alcohol. She still says I was wrong for getting upset at the situation but I'm sure any guy would if there gf was in a house drunk with a few other guys. Am I rite?

Btw, to the comment about needing attention, whenever we go somewhere, she'll say she wants to dress up really hot for me... ok... but it's not just for me. :rolleyes: and she'll ask me a million times if she looks good. Do all girls seek attention like this? Is it validation that they look good and need it from other guys?

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I think the fact that she freaked out so much about you having a problem with it should tell you that she knows it was wrong and probably didn't have the best intentions.

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Do all girls seek attention like this? Is it validation that they look good and need it from other guys?

 

In my age range alot do.

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